Page 104 of The Secret Christmas Bookshop
Harry paused, then lifted her dog up, cradling him against his chest. ‘This isn’t a last walk before you leave for Cornwall?’
‘No,’ she said. ‘I’ve … done a lot of thinking. Talked to a few people. I realize that I … I’m not very good at this.’
‘At what?’ Harry asked quietly.
‘At …being. Staying. At trusting.’
‘I know that,’ he said carefully. ‘And I should have told you, as soon as I knew May was behind the book. It felt like laying myself on the line, admitting how long I’d liked you for, how miserably I’d failed at being a normal, communicative human. I was scared, I think.’ He put Clifton down and held out his hand. Sophie took it. ‘I didn’t expect you to come into my life, but you did. And now you’re here, and Iknowyou don’t think you can stay, but … I love you.’ His gaze softened. ‘I love you, and I’m not saying it asemotional blackmail, but because it’s the truth. I didn’t think I’d get this chance, but you’re still here so I have to say it. I love you, Sophie Stevens. At least you know, now, before you go. You are loved. Completely. By me.’
Sophie felt the burn of tears in her eyes and nose. She squeezed Harry’s hand and tried to remember how to breathe. ‘I love you, too,’ she said. ‘I think that’s what frightened me the most. It’s why I overreacted, why part of me wanted to run – because it’s easier; there’s less to lose. But I saw you at the festival last night, and heard you talking to Fiona. I realized then that, if I went, then I’d lost anyway, because my feelings are already here, and I’m pretty sure they’re not going anywhere. I’m so sorry, Harry.’
His fingers tightened around hers. ‘Ifyou went? You mean … you feel the same, and you …? Soph, what’s happening?’ He rubbed his face with his free hand.
For the first time, happiness sneaked in, diluting Sophie’s anxiety. She had thought he would dismiss her, tell her that it was too late – that he’d already put her out of his thoughts, begun to move on. But this moment felt like hope, with the sun rising and the air fresh and clear, Christmas Day starting in houses everywhere – quiet and content or large and messy; everything in between.
‘You want me to stay?’ she asked.
There was a moment of stunned silence, then Harry said, ‘More than anything.’
Sophie squeezed her eyes shut, trying to ward off the tears, but it only made things worse. ‘I’m staying,’ she said. ‘I decided last night, but after everything I said to you, I didn’t know if you still—’
‘I do still,’ he said urgently, his hands coming to her waist.‘I do. You’re staying? Seriously? And not just for another week, or a little while, or—’
‘I want to stay here permanently,’ she said. ‘I want to be with you, Harry.’
He looked down at her, and she felt a soft puff of warm air on her cheeks as he exhaled. ‘I want to be with you,’ he said. ‘I’ve never wanted anyone in my life the way I want you.’ He brought his hand to her face, his thumb icy-cold as he wiped a tear from her cheek.
‘Not even Felix?’ she asked.
His mouth kicked up into a smile. ‘I like having him around, but no. I don’t want to hold hooves with him as we walk along this path, and I don’t want to go to the Blossom Bough with him in the evenings. I can’t imagine watching him open a successful stationery shop in the village, and I definitely don’t want him under the duvet with me every night.’
Sophie grinned. ‘Fair enough.’
‘Also, I’m fairly sure I don’t have to plan for a lake swim or rescue mission with you in my near future.’
‘Not right now, no,’ she assured him. ‘But have you ever gone skinny-dipping in the lake in summer, when there isn’t a risk of hypothermia?’
Harry tipped his face towards hers. ‘Do I have to remind you of the mud? The weeds? The sea is much better for skinny-dipping.’
She sucked in a gasp. ‘Thesea?Harry, have you—’
‘Just down here,’ he gestured with his head, ‘where hardly anyone goes. It’s so difficult getting down that path, and—’
‘It’s not that difficult,’ Sophie said, laughter bubbling up inside her. ‘Loads of hikers and walkers go on that part of the beach.’
Harry’s eyes widened. ‘Tell me you’re joking. Nobody used that part of the beach when I was growing up.Ever.The path to get onto it is so steep.’
‘There’s another, easier cut-through. Haven’t you found it?’ She pressed her hand against his chest. ‘Now I can see where some of the rumours about you originate. The Beast, for example?’
‘Sophie,’ Harry said solemnly.
‘Can I tell everyone?’
He shook his head. ‘I’m just starting to be accepted again.’
‘Secret skinny-dipping isn’t going to change that: you’ll just end up with a bigger audience.’
Harry closed his eyes and groaned. ‘Have I told you, Sophie, how glad I am that you’re staying here?’
