Page 98 of The Secret Christmas Bookshop
‘You’ve been the exception,’ Fiona said, ‘until now. You’ve seen him for who he really is, I think. But you’re telling me he’s got a Secret Book Lair?’
‘He built an annex to store all the books that were left in his dad’s bookshop after it shut down. He’s been rebinding them.’ She gestured toJane Eyre.
‘I know all that now.’
‘He told you?’
‘May answered the door when I went to the manor.’ Fiona was watching her closely. ‘She feels awful. She had no idea that, when you’d discovered where the book came from, you’d be angry with Harry.’
‘He’s known for ten days, and he didn’t tell me.’
‘From what May said, you hadn’t really spoken to him about the book – not in great detail. He didn’t realize how much it mattered to you: how invested you were in it.’
‘Iwasthough,’ Sophie said. ‘It’s … changed things.’
‘All Harry knew was that one of his books had ended up in your bag, and then he confronted May, and she told him what she’d done. And perhaps, Sophie, the reason you didn’t talk it through with Harry, that it became less of a pressing issue in his presence, was because he mattered more than a mysterious gift someone had given you.’
Sophie went into the kitchen and started pulling crockery out of the cupboard. ‘He didn’t tell me he’s been rebinding books – we have basically the same workspace. And May was trying to force us together. They both lied to me.’
‘May gave you a gift and did a bit of matchmaking, but hardly in a harmful way. Harry has a hobby he feels self-conscious about and, from what you’ve told me, has been nothing but a gentleman.’
‘It’s all got so complicated.’
‘Has it? Or have you realized that you care about these people, that you’re invested in the relationships, and it’s scary because now you have something to lose?’
Sophie looked at Fiona. Clifton had his head nestled under her chin, no problem with showing his affection. ‘I care aboutyou. You and Ermin and Jazz. Of courseI’ll miss you when I go, but it’s easier for everyone.’
‘I saw Harry too,’ Fiona said. ‘This morning, at the manor. He was moving books from the annex into his study. He looked like he was in a lot of pain.’
Sophie huffed out a breath. ‘He needs to get his shoulder checked by a doctor. Something fell on him at the festival, when the storm hit.’
Fiona nodded. ‘It wasn’t just physical pain.’
Sophie piled her crockery on the counter. ‘We’ve only known each other a couple of months, and we’re already arguing.’
Fiona laughed. ‘Sophie, all couples argue. It’s healthy, because it means you’re not holding any resentment or irritation inside. May told me Harry cares about you a great deal, that he thought you were abandoning your Cornwall plans. Jazz said you’d decided to stay here.’
‘Well, now I’m not. I’m driving down tomorrow.’
‘Do you have somewhere to go?’
‘There’s this hotel,’ Sophie told her. ‘It’s right on the cliffs, overlooking the sea.’ It was the only one she’d found that had a room at such short notice, and it was only because – the receptionist had told her – they’d had a cancellation. Two nights there wasn’t cheap, and she wasn’t holding out much hope that she could find a rental that quickly; she didn’t think letting agents would be eager to help her between Christmas and New Year. It was a terrible plan, but at least it was familiar, the muscle memory of packing, of choosing the route, had been soothing when she’d felt so off-kilter since last night.
‘Sophie,’ Fiona said, much more gently. ‘Why can’t you just talk to Harry? Talk to them both? Tell them why you’re upset, and let them explain. Give them a chance – giveMistinghama chance. Ermin and I don’t want you to go, and I’d bet the shop on us not being the only ones.’
‘It’s become such a tangle,’ Sophie said. ‘It’s too messy to sort through. If I leave now, I get a fresh slate.’
Fiona nodded. ‘Your life has been a procession of new front doors, beds and people, and you’ve struggled to find somewhere you think of as home. And I know that – when you have been comfortable – you’ve been let down.’
‘What do you mean?’ Sophie couldn’t stay still, so she put the kettle on, took two mugs out of the cluster on the counter and put teabags in them.
‘Mrs Fairweather, who gave you the notebook that started everything off, retired and couldn’t keep you.’
‘That’s just the nature of foster families.’
‘But you wanted her to choose you.’
Sophie got the milk out of the fridge. ‘She couldn’t do that. I knew that.’
