Page 55 of Turnabout Is Fair Cosplay
I am not a museum person. I do not have time to wander aimlessly around and think introspective thoughts. Because, hi, I’m working my tail off, and besides…it’s a boring, yuppy pastime for people who wear berets and dress exclusively in black.
But staying at home all weekend not thinking about who lives on the other side of my fence isn’t an option. Especially with the construction noise. Especially after what I said in the car.
I find my favorite chair facing the Pacific and pull out my Anne Perry cozy. It will be a glorious afternoon. I’ll read my book. I’ll pick up a to-go order of stuffed French toast from La Jolla’s most iconic restaurant, The Cottage. By the time I grab my favorite dip and chips from the corner market on my walk home, Mike will be off to work at Superhero Escapes, and I’ll enjoy a quiet evening where I eat myself silly on my private patio while deciding which season ofStarship Cruiserto rewatch. An all-around marvelous day.
“Beatrice Hero McKinney. What a surprise.” Mike,of course, is smiling down at me. “I didn’t peg you for an art lover. But I didn’t peg you for any kind of lover. Of anything. Or anyone.”
I don’t look up from my book. “How many times did you practice that line in your head? Did you have to write it down on paper first?”
His finger brushes against the membership lanyard hanging out of my bag. “I’m happy to be proved wrong.” He takes the empty seat next to mine. “Do you have a favorite piece here?”
“No. I come for the view. Since I don’t have one at my place.” It does grate that he has such amazing views, and never, not once, do I hear him outside enjoying them. Just endless hammering and sawing.
“But you must have walked through the galleries to find this chair, and something had to have caught your eye.”
I pointedly turn the page of my novel and settle further into my chair.
“This is one of the premier contemporary art collections on the West Coast, and you’re telling me you haven’t bothered to look at any of it? You just fell into the first chair you saw with your sad dime paperback?”
I squeeze my book just a little tighter but don’t look up.
“This museum has only recently reopened. It was closed for renovation for nearly a decade. There are people who are dying to see this art again, and you don’t even bother to look.”
I aggressively dog-ear my page before I put my book down and glare at Mike. “What are you even doing here, Mike? You lonely? Is looking in the mirror all day getting dull?”
“I’m meeting a friend, actually.”
“Oh! That’s precious. It takes a special person to have an imaginary friend as an adult. Tell me all about him. Is he a three-inch fool too?”
“She is charming, completely real, and an art lover.”
I snort derisively.
“What’s so funny?”
“Modern art. It’s a joke.”
Mike considers. “Sure. Surrealists had fun with that sort of thing. Very tongue-in-cheek. Not so dark as the dadaists. Still absurd, but more whimsical, humorous.”
I’m annoyed that he’s so articulate. “Not like that. It’s a money-laundering scheme. Anyone can throw paint at a canvas. I can throw paint at a canvas. I can hang up a blank canvas. I can sit at a piano and not play a note. I can tape a banana to a wall.”
“But you didn’t.”
I roll my eyes.
“They did, and they got you talking about it.Lavender Mist.White on White. 4’33”.Comedian. All great art created by talented artists who started a conversation. Roll those pretty blue eyes all you want. Once you experience them in person, you’ll get it. EspeciallyLavender Mist. It’s worth a trip out to the National Gallery of Art in DC just to see it.”
“You are more desperate than I thought if you’re already dropping hints about weekend getaways. I wish I could lie and say I’m flattered, but really I feel like throwing up a little just thinking about it.”
“Mike!” A gorgeous woman with the most beautiful goddess braids I’ve ever seen throws her arms around Mike and gives him a quick kiss on the cheek. “I’m so sorry I’m late. I had a meltdown outside. You didn’t tell me they have an Andy Goldsworthy.”
Mike winks at me as he hugs this woman. “It’s awesome, right?”
“It’s everything! I cried off all my mascara.” She pulls away and smooths Mike’s shirt. “Sorry to keep you waiting.”
“No worries. I was catching up with Bea here.”
Her eyes light up when she sees me. “Who is this?” she squeals. “OMG. Introduce me!”
