Page 45 of Breakaway
"Fuck no," Kolos says as I step from the bathroom back into the hotel room we're sharing while we get everything scheduled with my family. Marr is here too, but he's taking a nap on one of the two beds. We aren't planning on staying the night, but it's easier for everyone to keep a single room safe instead of a public space.
"I haven't said anything yet," I snarl at Kolos. The heat in my voice is more because I just got done speaking with my brother.
"As much as I disagree with how he went about it, I'm with Kolos and his 'fuck no,'" Isha says, crossing her arms over her chest.
Isha looks every bit as intimidating as Zill does when he tries to be. She embodies the whole muscle mommy aesthetic, which I will never voice out loud because I'm already embarrassed enough that I just had the thought. Kolos, I'm sure, can be intimidating too. It's just that I know him. Not a whole lot, but enough to know that if he ever tries to get all stern and serious, I'm probably going to end up laughing.
"What?" Zill asks, looking between the three of us.
No one says anything for a long moment. I stare at Kolos, one brow cocked while I wait to see if he's going to spill it before I get a chance to tell Zill. There's no reason to worry about Isha. Unlike Kolos, she actually respects people and their minds, and how you can't just go around commenting on people's thoughts all the time.
Marr snores, a loud, startling sound that makes me jump, which in turn has Zill acting as if I'm in real mortal danger. Shadows cover my body as he comes to stand beside me, his head swiveling as if there's a threat here and not just a man who's napping well.
"I talked with Jeremy," I turn to Zill, giving him my attention since Isha and Kolos are both very aware of everything that was said between my brother and me. "I explained to him that we're in town and that I want to speak with the family to get things settled for when I retire."
"I'm sure he took it well," Zill says, attempting to give me a smile that's much more of a grimace than anything else.
I chuckle because if I don't laugh about how absurdly not well Jeremy took it, I'm going to scream.
"He did not. No, he said the family is all in town for some get-together that I wasn't invited to, and that there's no space for…" I let my voice trail off and shake my head.
"No space for alien half breeds," Kolos supplies helpfully, ignoring the daggers I'm throwing at him with my eyes.
Zill's face screws up as he jerks back a bit. "How do they even know I'm half Sombran?"
Isha snorts. "That's your issue with it?"
"We all already knew they don't like other species," Zill says with a wave of his hand. "But I doubt Reese told them I was half human."
"I didn't," I assure him. "I try not to tell them much of anything. But they're ignorant, and so I wouldn't be surprised if they just assumed that since you were here, you were half-human. It's so fucking stupid."
I'm embarrassed and disgusted and so confused. I was raised to believe that family takes care of one another, and yet it's been me taking care of them for years, while they what? While they talk down to me, belittle me, and spout their ignorant bullshit to anyone who will listen, no matter how offensive and not okay it is.
And that's why I'm embarrassed, because that's my family, and I still want to tell them to their faces that I'm not going to be on Earth for much longer, even after they insulted Zill. Why? Why am I still clinging to the hope that people as awful as they are will accept me?
"Because cutting family off is hard when you're actually a good person," Kolos says softly. Isha groans, probably because Kolos is once again breaking a whole bunch of Sombran societal norms and talking about my thoughts. He ignores her and the frown Zill is giving him. "I know it doesn't help, but you really will feel a lot better once you cut them off."
"I know, I know," I tell him, squeezing Zill's arm so he knows I'm okay. "I just don't want them to think it's okay to say things like that, but I don't want to start a whole fight before I tell them what I need to tell them."
"It's a balancing act," Kolos tells me, one side of his mouth lifting higher than the other. "And as soon as we get today over with, you never have to do it again. Now, no more thinking about how bigoted they are, because we're not going to be able to change that."
"Well," Isha shrugs, but doesn't continue.
"No digging around in their brains," I tell her, and then lean closer to her and much more quietly add, "But I appreciate the offer."
"So what did Jeremy say then?" Zill asks, getting us back on track.
"Basically, they'll only talk to me if you all don't come with me," I say, knowing before he even says it what Zill's answer will be.
"No," he's shaking his head, his frown even deeper. "Not going to happen."
"I can go with Marr, it's not like they're going to do anything to hurt me," I tell Zill, who looks wholly unconvinced about my words.
His jaw clenches as he darts his gaze to just above my head, looking past me but not at anything in particular. He takes a deep breath, and when he releases it, it blows against the top of my head.
"Can I be honest with you?" Zill asks, still not looking at me, and I pull away from him a little, much to his shadows' displeasure.
"I would hope so. After all the lying with the whole not finding me attractive thing, I thought we were past the lies."
