Page 66 of Breakaway
I sigh and do a pathetic little pout. "Yeah, Zill's keeping his thoughts from me. I'm pretty sure he knows I want him to ask at least, so it doesn't seem like he's trying to hide something from me."
"What?" Isha asks, apparently her concern has nothing to do with my own relationship struggles, and that's even more embarrassing because here I am making this about me when it could be something serious. She shakes her head, giving me her full attention. "Just ask his shadows. They're the ones blockingyou. If you want to listen in, just ask them, and he's helpless to stop it."
"Oh," I say, and now it's all on me, on whether or not I want to know what Zill is so obviously trying to keep hidden from me. He probably has good reasons, right? And if he had asked me if I wanted to listen in but told me he'd prefer if I didn't, I would've agreed with him. Still, the idea of there being secrets is what's not sitting well with me and what's making me lean toward doing what Isha suggested.
"Let's go to the transport, though," Isha tells me, drawing my attention out of my mind and back to the real world. "Something feels off, and I'll be less stressed if we can get you back on the ship until Zill is done with whatever it is he's doing."
"You're right," I say, grabbing for my purse. "I can have my weird relationship freakout in the transport."
Isha waits until I'm ready to go and then leads me out into the studio hallway. It's eerily quiet, but then again, there are fewer people here than when we took the first set of photos, since Mauve implemented extra security protocols. She even rented out the entire building for the day. She made sure no other shoots were happening at the same time so that she could limit access to me as much as possible. It's the only reason Zill decided he could leave me in Isha's very capable hands for the day.
Brandr is here too, waiting for us outside and keeping an eye on everything happening out there. He agreed to let Isha monitor his thoughts and told us he'd let us know as soon as something seemed sketchy.
"If it makes you feel any better, I doubt Zill's not sharing with you for any nefarious reasons. He's probably just worried that it might be upsetting for you, and he really doesn't like you being upset."
"I know it's not nefarious," I say with a huff. "Zill doesn't have a nefarious bone in his body. I just don't like him keeping it from me."
"Want to know what I think it is?" Isha asks, looking over her shoulder.
"Do you know?"
She shrugs, facing forward again. "I have a pretty good guess. He hasn't messaged me about where they are or who they're meeting, but that just makes it even easier to guess, in my opinion."
I chew on my lower lip. Is guessing what he's doing as bad as forcing his shadows to share his thoughts with me so I can know for sure where he is? The question seems so nonsensical, and since this whole situation is truly ridiculous, I decide I at least want to hear Isha out.
"What do you think they're doing then?" I ask, straightening my spine a little so it doesn't look like I'm petrified of her answer.
"If I had to guess, they're talking to someone in your family," Isha says, and my face flames. Not because I'm angry, but because if they're truly going to meet with someone in my family, they're going to hear all of the awful thoughts they have about me.
"No," I shake my head, the word coming out as more of a cry for help than anything else. Isha must hear the strain in my voice, because she whips around as though I've been physically injured.
"Reese, are you okay?" she asks, her hands moving to my shoulders, her shadows floating around my body. They don't touch my skin like Zill's do, but glide just above it, assessing me to make sure I haven't been hurt.
"I'm fine," I tell her, offering the weakest and most pathetic smile of my life. "I just really don't like the idea of them meetingwith any of my family. Sure, Zill's going to know about all of the bullshit they've said to me throughout the years because he's in my head, but that doesn't mean I want him just getting a front row seat to the actual disdain right now."
"Zill's not going to care about anything anyone has to say about you," Isha tells me. Her shadows slowly fade away from me and wrap themselves back around her. "Seriously, if anything, you should be worried about what he does to whoever he's talking with if they do end up saying anything awful about you. If they just think it, he'll probably be able to control himself."
"I know, but it's one thing to know something and a whole other thing to actually not let it affect me." I toss my head back and let out a groan. "Ugh, and Kolos will hear it too."
Isha chuckles, the sound causing me to tilt my head back down and give her a suspicious look. She holds up a hand as if to say she's not laughing at me.
"Kolos is the one who will do something even if whoever they're talking to just has a bad thought about you," Isha says.
"Is that supposed to make me feel better?" I ask.
"Of course it is, and it does, doesn't it?" Isha asks, and she's not wrong.
There is something comforting about knowing that someone is willing to fight for you, even if it's just over thoughts that are had about you. I'm glad Zill isn't as impulsive and won't do something to someone over their thoughts. But Kolos doing it feels like an older brother watching out for his family, and I like that even if it's not something I want in my partner.
"Come on." Isha urges me to keep moving toward the parking garage. "I messaged Brandr to have the transport ready five minutes ago, and he's going to be wondering where we are."
I follow after her, still a little embarrassed to be thinking of Zill and Kolos meeting anyone from my family. A part of methought I might be able to get away from all of them without Zill having to meet them, but as soon as Isha said who she thought they were meeting, I knew she was right. Zill knows my issues with my family, knows how very much they don't want anything to do with him or me, and he's only trying to protect me. I wouldn't want to be in his head while he was talking to someone from my family, but we'll talk later about him leaving that decision up to me instead of making it for me.
Isha steps out into the parking garage first. Her head swivels back and forth while her shadows remain eerily still on her torso. I can't see her facial expression, but her shoulders are tight, and her arms are tense.
"Is everything okay?" I ask, my heart starting to flutter wildly in my chest. I have no reason to be worried, but I've never seen Isha look so tense before, and since I can't see her face, it's hard to judge exactly what she's feeling.
"I can't hear anyone," Isha says quietly. "I don't like this."
