Page 53 of Beauty
“Fine.” My jaw cracks as I clench my teeth harder. “But if they won’t agree, we protect my family at all costs. Got it?”
“Of course.”
I end the call without saying goodbye. The anger is still alive inside me, but in the silence, sadness and grief join the party. I’m spiraling. The walls of the car are closing in on me, and suddenly, I can’t breathe. As I gasp for air, I claw at the door, needing out.
“What’s happening?” Garreth asks.
I shake my head. “I can’t do this right now.”
He angles over and squeezes my knee. “Okay. Let’s focus on tonight. We’ll figure out the rest tomorrow.”
That initial irritation rears its head, getting the best of me, and I snap. “No. You don’t get it. I can’t dothis.”
I’m an asshole. I know I am. But I’m not in the right headspace to focus on this relationship. I need out. Of this car and of this relationship.
“Okay,” he says, his tone frustratingly calm. “Do you want me to drop you at the hotel and meet Beckett without you, or do you want to go in there by yourself?”
“I’ll grab an Uber.” I reach for the door handle. “I’ll text Beckett and tell him I’m not feeling well. Maybe you could pretend to bump into him?” I yank on the handle, but the door is locked.
His grip on my knee tightens. “Sienna, please let me at least take you back to the hotel. Your brother is fine on his own. But I want to make sure you’re okay. I care aboutyou.”
I peer over at him. Shit. He doesn’t deserve this. He deserves a woman who can give him the love he’s worthy of. Not a woman who’s still half in love with a fantasy. A memory.
“You shouldn’t.” I offer him a sad smile.
His expression falls. It’s like the rug has been pulled out from under him. Like the curtain has been lifted and he’s seen behind the façade. Last night was full of celebration. Throughout the reception, we snuck away to steal kisses. We teased one another via text, the messages interspersed with serious ones about how we couldn’t wait to be free of all the hiding. I spent the night in his bed, and we woke up tangled in each other’s arms.
But in my heart of hearts, I’ve always known that what we had wouldn’t last. Now, with my life falling apart, I can’t push forward anymore. I can’t ignore the truth.
He says nothing when I step out of the car and onto the street. He doesn’t chase me. He doesn’t rail against me, demanding an explanation. In this moment, he knows as well as I do that it’s over.
A month later, after I’ve signed away my right to do the only thing I’ve ever loved, I walk through the streets of Paris, second-guessing my decision to end things with Garreth.
Buzzed after a few drinks, I stupidly waltz into the bookstore where our affair began. At the register, where I found him standing that night, I swear his ghost hovers, smiling at me.
My already shattered heart crumbles further. Ending things was necessary, despite the despair surrounding me now. I could never have given him the one thing he wanted: my heart.
“Sienna.” The owner breaks into a smile. Then in her native tongue, she chatters on about the shipment that came in this week, asking if I’d like to look through them with her to see if my book is in there.
I know it isn’t. After all this time, I don’t have it in me to believe in fairy tales and fate.
“I just came to say goodbye. I’m moving back to America.”
Her eyes widen and her mouth forms anO. “You must give me your address, then. So if I find your book, I can forward it to you.”
I promise to email her with an address once I’m settled, though as I hug her and step onto the sidewalk, I know I won’t follow through.
She’ll never find the book. And neither will I.
I’ve got nothing left. No career. No hope. No faith. And certainly no dreams of happy futures and fate.
I’ll never be that naive girl again. And there’s no one to blame for any of this but myself.
EIGHTEEN
SIENNA
SIXTEEN MONTHS LATER
