Page 54 of Beauty
“How isit possible that you still don’t have answers? It’s been over a year,” Millie whines as the doorman at Langfield Corp ushers us inside. Millie, my former assistant and good friend, is now my sister-in-law. She and Gavin had the most gorgeous ceremony by the water three years ago.
I tug my jacket tighter around me, like it’ll help me hide from the lies I’ve been weaving for the past year. I’m still too much of a coward to tell my family what I did. The agreement is ironclad. I’ve already signed away my right to design again. If my brothers knew, they’d try to find a way to undo it. They’d try to fix it for me.
I don’t want their help. I’ve come to terms with the end of my career. It hurts to know that I’ll never design clothing again, but I’m moving on.
Or I’m trying to, at least. Though it’s been a challenge, coming to terms with the reality that I can never do the only thing I’ve ever truly been good at. I’m no longer allowed to be the only thing I’ve ever aspired to be. I can’t have the career I’ve worked my ass off for. The career I sacrificed everything for, including my social life, time with my family, andlove.
I swallow hard on that last word. The only time I ever felt anything even close to love was so long ago, and so fleeting, that it’s quite possible I imagined it.
Six years. How the fuck has it been six years?
Affecting the most impassive expression, I hit the button to summon the elevator. “Things take longer in Europe.”
Millie settles a hand on her stomach while we wait. She and Gavin have a daughter, Vivi, who’s almost five, and they recently announced that she’s pregnant with their second child. As difficult as it was to leave Paris, I’m glad I won’t miss the birth of another one of my siblings’ children.
There are a lot of them now.
Beckett and Liv have five children. The oldest three, Winnie, Finn, and Addie, are not his by blood, but he loves them more than just about any parent could love a child. He fell as hard for Liv’s kids as he did for her. The youngest girls, June and Maggie, are only a few months younger than Vivi.
Then there’s sweet baby Taylor, the little girl Sara and Brooks welcomed just last week.
Aiden married his high school sweetheart, Lennox, but they haven’t decided whether they want kids. I get it. I’m undecided too. I love my nieces and nephews more than life itself, but I’m not sure I’ve ever wanted to be a mother. Mine has never been very maternal. Maybe not having that role model is part of it. Though it’s likely because for my whole life, I’ve only ever wanted to be a fashion designer.
Though that’s over now, so who knows how I’ll feel about kids as time goes on.
I’ve yet to find a job in Boston. Probably because I’ve yet to bother looking. For the first few months, I traveled. Then, when I couldn’t avoid my brothers anymore, I begrudgingly moved back into my parents’ house. In the months since then, I’ve done a lot of yoga and spent quite a bit of time with my family.I’ve also been on far more dates that I wasn’t aware were dates thanks to Beckett and his meddling ways.
Recently, I’ve become my mother’s pet project. I think it’s caught up with her, how little time she spent with us when we were kids, now that my father is retired and their business and social obligations have dwindled.
My brothers are all successful and happily married, while I’m single at almost thirty, and my company is in shambles.
I’ve gone from the most sought-after fashion designer in the world to a pariah in the industry. My name is whispered like an infectious disease. The only person still working in fashion who hasn’t turned her back on me is Cat, but I’ve kept my distance. The last thing I want is for her to be sucked into the nasty rhetoric by association.
If I’m not careful, she’ll go toe to toe with the naysayers. My brothers all would too. But I’ve made peace with my decision. Now it’s time for everyone else to get on board with it.
As if I’ve summoned my mother, my phone lights up with a message from her.
Mom: Have you heard about maple season in Vermont? There is a spa near the Berkshire family compound. I could schedule appointments for maple facials and pedicures and wraps! Then we could go on a tour and watch how they make it. What do you think? Want to get out of town for a few days?
With a groan, I jam my phone into my pocket. I need a job. Then I’d have an excuse to say no to jet-setting around with her like a stereotypical heiress to do absolutely nothing in the middle of the freaking woods. I lived in Paris for five years. I thrived there. What makes her think spending time in naturewould be appealing to me? If she understood me at all, she’d know that it sounds like my worst nightmare.
Or maybe my second worst, since I’m currently living my worst nightmare.
Like I said, I need a job.
“Do you need a nanny?” I ask Millie as the elevator ascends to the floor where Liv’s office is located.
She snorts, bringing her hand to her mouth a second too late to stifle it.
I glare at her.
“I’m sorry.” She holds up her hands. “It’s just that after a five-minute conversation with Vivi, you’re usually itching for a martini.”
I pull my shoulders back and lift my chin. “I love Vivi.”
My best friend tilts her head, silently calling me out on my bullshit.
“Fine,” I huff. “Idolove Vivi, but I can only talk about what Barbie wants for breakfast for so long.”
