Page 55 of Beauty
“I get it.” She chuckles. “Which is why you’d make a terrible nanny.”
She’s right. I do need an excuse to avoid my mother, though. And I need a task to keep myself busy.
We step out of the elevator, and she leads me down the hall toward Liv’s office, her brown curls bouncing. Liv asked me to meet her here before lunch, and Millie wanted to pop by to visit Gavin.
Halfway down the hall, my phone buzzes again. This time, though, it’s not my mother. This message is from the other woman who won’t leave me alone.
Cat: You can’t avoid me forever. Meet me for drinks at Allure. It’s super private. No one will overhear us. Maybe then I can talk you into getting out there again too.
With a sigh, I pocket the device again. I have no intention of doing any such thing.
Garreth is her brother-in-law, and she’s one of very few people who knew about my relationship with him. And she’s too damn smart for her own good. She knows how I sabotaged said relationship, just like I sabotaged my career.
But getting out there again? No thanks. I’m beginning to think I’m not cut out for love. Maybe I’ll stick to being the fun aunt. Or not, since according to Millie, I’m not even good at that.
I wince at the thought. She’s not wrong. I definitely do better with the older kids than the younger ones.
Though relationships and kids are out, I can’t help but crave something of my own. A reason to get out of bed in the morning. A distraction from the journal in my nightstand. The one that haunts me. The one I used to doodle in daily. A distraction from the concern that I’ll never again feel the itch of excitement that used to take over the minute I put pencil to paper. That the magic that once flowed through me no longer exists.
I shake out my hands, sloughing off the sensation. The move exposes the turquoise butterfly inked on the inside of my wrist, catching my attention, and my heart pangs.
It’s been six years, and I can still hear the murmured lies of the man I can’t forget, no matter how hard I try.
You’re going to do amazing things, butterfly. You’re going to soar. I can’t wait to see what you do with this life. And I’m going to find you again.
He never found me. I didn’t soar. And this tattoo is a permanent reminder of my naïveté. More than once, I’ve considered covering it with another design. Thinking of that man and that weekend and my hopeless romanticism—more like sheer stupidity—hurts more that I’ll ever admit.
Thewhat-ifs and themaybes are the work of the devil.
If I’d given him my number back then, we probably would have talked once or twice, then drifted apart naturally.
Our connection would be as dead as my career is now.
Instead, I let myself believe in fate. I came up with this romanticized notion that fate kept us apart, and therefore it wasn’t my fault that we never had a shot. But the chance that a man I shared one hot weekend with could be my soulmate? Yeah, that’s the stuff of romance novels. Of nineties rom-coms.
Fortunately, I am no longer naïve enough to believe in love or second chances.
These days, I am chock-full of sarcasm and jaded self-deprecation. Maybe under the right circumstances, those qualities would work on a résumé.
“Sienna.” Beckett steps out of an office down the hall, and Gavin appears a second after.
“Hey, Peaches.” Gavin pulls his wife to him in a sweet display of their disgustingly perfect romance and plants a kiss on her lips that has her melting into him. “You girls are going to lunch, right?”
“Yeah,” I say, “but Liv asked me to come see her before we go.”
Beckett folds his arms across his chest and smirks. “Did she now?”
His cocky attitude makes my stomach sink. “What do you know?” I demand, eyes narrowed. “If it’s another date, I swear…”
He’s driving me crazy. The man thinks he’s a modern-day Hello Dolly, matching couples left and right.
Except I don’t want to be matched. Especially not with any of the men he’s been tossing my way. I swear the guys he forces on me don’t even want to date.
“Beckett,” Liv calls from her office, her tone stern.
His expression sobers instantly. “Coming, Livy.” He wraps an arm around my shoulder and drags me with him. “She won’t yell if you’re with me.”
I snort, batting him away. “She totally will.”
