Page 78 of Beauty
He takes another step toward me, but I back away. If I let him touch me, I’m afraid I’ll give in. So I utter the one word that I know will stop him. My safe word.
“Butterfly.”
He clenches his hand into a fist, the move creating a crinkling sound, as if he’s balled up a piece of paper, and his eyes fall shut.
He swallows audibly, his throat working, and sucks in a long breath. When he opens his eyes, determination shines in them rather than defeat. “Fine. But we’re not done here.”
“We are.” I skirt around my desk, needing a physical barrier to keep me from going to him.
With a shake of his head, he storms out of my office. At the threshold, he pauses, and without turning around, he says, “No we’re not, butterfly. We’ll never be done.”
TWENTY-FIVE
SIENNA
“This one isn’t half bad.”
Cat’s right. And it’s a hell of a lot better than everything else the realtor has shown us so far.
I’m still hesitant to consider it a possibility, though, after the last apartment she showed us. It seemed like a winner until Cat noticed how clearly she could see into the apartment across the way. Obviously, curtains could solve that issue. But the real problem was the obese man who appeared in the apartment, completely nude, and wandered around that way for some time. Cat insisted the agent get more information from the landlord, and when she did, we discovered that the man never wore clothes or used blinds.
So, unwilling to live in darkness or be mooned by a man across the way constantly, I moved on.
It was crushing, really, since the closet in that apartment was big enough to house every pair of shoes I own and had lights to illuminate each shelf.
Both Cat and I cried over that.
After she’d wiped away her tears, she texted a picture of it to her husband. Knowing Jay Hanson, Cat’s closet will be upgraded within the week.
“Anything is better than living with my mom.” I turn toward the agent and take the leap. “I’ll take it.”
She clasps her hands and breaks into a wide smile. “Okay, I’ll go get the paperwork for you to sign.”
Cat lets out a loud whistle. “Look at you doing big things.”
I snort. “Right. Moving out of one’s childhood bedroom at thirty is not a milestone to be celebrated.”
She rolls her eyes. “At twenty-two, you built a fashion empire. At twenty-five, you starred on a hit show that dominated all the charts. For the last five years, you’ve been the number one designer on the who-to-watch list of everyone who matters.”
“And now I’m starting over.” I sigh, my chest aching.
“They say women can reinvent themselves as many times as they want. It’s hot. A new trend.” She gives me a cocky smirk.
A watery laugh bubbles out of me. “Who’sthey?”
She points at herself. “Me, Sienna. And we all know?—”
“What Catherine Bouvier says goes,” I chime in.
As our laughter fades, I take in the view of Boston from here. It’s nothing glamorous. Just a city street, and the place doesn’t even have a balcony, but Cat’s right; it’s a start.
Today’s been full of firsts. My first day at my new job, my first non-self-induced orgasm in god knows how long, and the first time a man has ever truly hurt me.
Have I been disappointed by men in the past? Sure. But finding out that while I was searching for him, he knew where I was but chose not to reach out was devastating.
He’s wrong when he says it’s not over. It is. It has to be.
Cat bumps her shoulder against mine. “What are you thinking about?”
