Page 120 of Beauty
“Why?”
The question from Liv stops me in my tracks. Out of everyone in this room, I figured she’d be the most understanding.
“You just said you wouldn’t go,” I point out.
“Because I’m a mom of five. This”—she drags a hand up and down in front of her, gesturing to her body—“does not belong in a sex club.”
“Bullshit,” Hannah spews. “You’re gorgeous. And your husband is utterly obsessed with you. If you want to keep all that sex between the two of you in your bedroom, there’s no shame in that. But if you don’t want to try something like this because of your body, then it’s bullshit.”
“I agree,” Ava says. For the second time in as many minutes, I’m shocked silent. Ava is the most reserved of the group by far.
“You do?” Liv says, leaning forward.
“Yeah. I don’t think you shouldn’t go because you’re a mom. I personally don’t think I’d like something like that, but it’s not because I have kids.”
“Bullshit,” Hannah mutters again. “You’d love it.”
Ava bats at her best friend. “My husband is hot. I don’t think I’d like it if other women looked at him.”
“Oh, I’d have no problem with it,” Hannah says. “I’d want every woman there to see my husband’s massive cock and be jealous as fuck that I’m the only one who gets to suck it.”
“Hannah.” Millie throws a pillow at our unrepentant friend.
Sara nods. “I’m with Hannah. Though Brooks wouldnever.” She sighs, like being with a man as obsessed with her as he is, who wants her all to himself, is a burden.
My phone lights up again.
Cat: Pretty, pretty please.
“What does it say?” Hannah leans forward, peering over my shoulder. “Oh, she’sbegging.”
The room breaks into a cacophony of squeals and giggles.
“Come on,” Lennox says. “You should go. If only so you can report back and tell us what it was like.”
I bury my head in my hands. “What does one even wear to a sex club?”
THIRTY-EIGHT
NOAH
Ideally,going after what I want was a genius plan. In reality, I’m only one-half of the equation, and when the other half doesn’t answer the door, it puts a hitch in my plans.
So what now? Do I text her? Call?
Talk about taking the wind out of a guy’s sails. I’ve been envisioning one of those big, dramatic moments like in Hannah’s books. She’d open the door, and I’d spill my guts and confess all my feelings. I’d ask her if she’s ready to stop playing games. Then we’d kiss, because of course she’d be ready. And the night would look a hell of a lot different from this.
I’ve been so sure that fate is on our side. Now I’m wondering if it’s been working against us all this time.
How the hell has it taken us this long to reach this point? I’m ready to start my life with her, yet she’s nowhere to be found.
I stalk back to my door. As I pass by Hannah and Daniel’s apartment, I pull up short. Should I talk to them? Am I ready to open up about this to my sister? Maybe not. But if I don’t talk to someone, I’m going to lose my mind.
I knock lightly, not wanting to wake Maverick if he’s sleeping.
“Forget your key, babe?” Hannah calls. “I’m not wearing any panties, and I’ve got?—”
“Please don’t finish that sentence.” I squeeze my eyes shut as the knob turns and the door opens.
