Page 141 of Beauty
“Obviously.” Grinning, Ollie darts for his room and returns with his overnight bag.
He has a full wardrobe at both houses, but he still takes a bag back and forth so he has his T-ball gear and school supplies wherever he goes.
He rifles through his things and yanks out the hideous trunks with a triumphant smile.
The teal is so bright it’s almost blinding, but what he failed to mention was that along with the pink ice cream cones, the fabric is printed with watermelons and strawberries. “We should send a picture to the grandpas.”
Biting back a snort, I snag my phone from the table. Ollie poses with the offending suit, wearing an exaggerated look of shock, then bounces over and peers at the screen while I tap out a message.
I hit Send and set the phone down again. “They’ll get a kick out of that.”
He tosses the trunks onto the floor without a thought. “What are we having for dinner? I was thinking pizza. Mom’s been on a health kick, and the last one she ordered had cauliflower crust.” He sticks his tongue out and makes a gagging noise.
A shudder runs through me. That sounds awful. “Pizza is good. Sienna’s coming over. Is that all right?”
“Really?” The way his eyes light up makes my chest warm.
“Yeah.”
“What about Aunt Hannah and Uncle Danny?”
“You want me to invite them?” I’d rather not, but it’s hard to say no to this kid, and he hasn’t seen them in a week.
He shakes his head. “Nah, maybe just Sienna tonight. I haven’t seen her in a while, and Mav hogs everyone’s attention.”
His words tug at my heartstrings. I can’t blame him for being possessive of Sienna’s attention. I feel the same way.
We still have a little time, just the two of us, so I take a deep breath and steady myself for the change in topic. “I also needed to talk to you about something.”
He settles quickly, the energy radiating from him waning. The kid is so damn intuitive. He impresses me every day.
“I found out today that the team has to be in Michigan next Saturday.”
A frown mars his sweet face. “But my big game is that day.”
I nod, my heart clenching. “I know. And you know there’s nowhere I’d rather be?—”
“But you have a job,” he says, his tone gentle, like he’s comforting us both. Like he’s the adult.
I hate it.
I love my son’s sense of humor. I love how wise he is. I love his snark and his giant personality. But this part? I think I’d prefer it if he threw a fit. If he cried and begged because he’s too young, too egocentric to understand. Because fuck, even I don’t understand. I don’t understand why I have to miss out on so much time with him. I don’t understand why, no matter how hard I try, I always feel like I’m letting him down. And I don’t understand how I’mnotletting him down. It’s unfair, how understanding he is.
“I’m sorry, bud. I really wish I could be there.”
He nods, though he focuses somewhere over my shoulder. “Mom can send you a video so you can watch it later.”
I grasp his arm and wait for him to look at me. When he does, his blue eyes are wide, depthless, and sad. In this moment, with his small body next to me, I’m reminded of how young he truly is. And how much I’m missing out on. “I’d still rather see it in person.”
“Next time,” he tells me.
I swallow hard and nod. “Yeah, next time.”
We’re still sitting quietly when the doorbell rings. And as if a switch has flipped, he perks up and darts across the apartment. “Sienna’s here.”
Over pizza, Ollie and Sienna carry the conversation. I’m in awe of them both, and the whole time, I’m in my head, wishing I could make this a nightly event.
“Last time I saw you, you mentioned you had plans for a hug. Did it happen?” Sienna asks as she takes her second piece of pizza.
