Page 42 of Beauty
At least I tell myself that’s what she’s saying. I kiss her back. For long moments, we’re lost like that. Eventually the warmth of her isn’t enough, so I fuck up into her, focusing on things we can have. I walk backward, and at the ocean’s edge, I settle my ass in the sand. “Ride me. I want to watch you come. I want to watchthe most beautiful woman fall apart around me in the light of the moon.”
Sienna rolls her hips, the move sending tingles up my spine. “I’m on birth control,” she rasps against my mouth.
My chest grows tight. “Fuck, baby. Don’t say things like that.”
“I want you to come inside me,” she begs. “Be mine.” Her eyes search mine, desperate. “Just for tonight.”
I lose all sense then. As I fuck up into her, I unleash a piece of myself, implanting it deep, knowing I’ll never get it back. Forget being wrecked. I’m shattered and I don’t give a fuck.
The moment the world goes hazy, my vision blurring from the intense pleasure, she imprints herself on my retinas. She tattoos herself on my brain. When I come apart with her name on my lips, I can only hope that for the rest of my life, the image of her under the moonlit sky is all I’ll see.
The sound of wheels on the floor wakes me, and I jackknife out of bed. “You’re leaving?” I rasp, glaring at the woman standing near the door. I’m naked and hard—which should be impossible at this point—and I’m pissed. “You were just going to leave?”
She strides over and cups my cheek. “No, I was just collecting my things before I came to say goodbye to you properly.”
My racing heart calms. There’s nothing but sincerity in her eyes. “Let me get dressed and wait for your car with you.”
I tried to change my travel plans so we could fly out of here together, but her flight was completely booked.
She took that as a sign that it’s best that we part for good here in the Bahamas. I took it as a sign that I should pay someone to take their seat, but that’s not what she wants, so here we are.
It’s like a punch to the gut, really, to have found this woman, a woman who is, for all intents and purposes, made for me, who’s as filthy as I am and so fucking brilliant—a woman I could get lost in—only to be hit with the reality that she doesn’t have time to get lost in me.
Could we make it work? A big part of me wants to try. Yeah, hockey keeps me busy, and soon, the rest of my time will be consumed with the ups and downs of parenthood. But even if Sienna and I could sneak away and see each other once or twice in the next year, it’d be a whole lot better than parting for good.
“Give me your number,” I say, cradling her face.
Lashes lowered, she shakes her head.
My stomach twists painfully. “Please,” I urge, my voice grating. “Your last name, at least? Give me something that’ll allow me to reach out to you when life isn’t so complicated.”
She sags, her eyes darting away. “It’s better this way,” she whispers.
“How?”
How could never seeing her again bebetter? How could she be so okay with saying goodbye?
“I did something.” She straightens and lifts her chin. “Ever heard of the movieSerendipity?”
I shrug. “I don’t watch TV.”
“It’s a movie, you dork. With Kate Beckinsale and John Cusack. God, it’s so good.” She smiles, her expression wistful, and for a moment I forget how angry I am over how easily she’s willing to walk away after she went and made me fall for her.
“Give me your number.” I brush my mouth over hers.
She pulls back and licks her lips. “In the movie, a man and a woman meet unexpectedly and spend a perfect day together. But they’re both in relationships with other people?—”
“You told me you were single,” I force out, my throat suddenly tight.
Her smile is soft. “I am, but our lives are complicated. We’re not ready for this,” she whispers.
This.As if that word could encompass what exists between us. I’m not sure the wordlovewould either. It feels pedestrian and overused, and yet it’s the only thing that comes close to what I feel for this woman.
Still, the devastation in her expression kills me. I know she’s right.
If she gave me her name and number, there’s no way I could resist calling, and I’d be so fucking tempted to visit during any break in the season. But I can’t. I’m about to be a father.
I don’t have time to be in love, yet she’s wormed her way under my skin and soaked into my bones, and now I can’t imagine letting her go.
