Page 77 of Beauty
To stay away.
I push back, scrambling off the desk.
Before I can, Noah grips my hips tightly, holding me in place. “Please give me a second to explain.”
I shake my head, my hair tumbling around me, and squeeze my eyes shut. “There’s nothing to explain.”
He lets out a gruff sigh. “Of course there is. It’s not as simple as choosing not to reach out.”
My responding laugh is anything but humorous. It’s angry and sarcastic. Over the years, I’ve become jaded. More so since I lost everything. But for one stupid moment, when his body was pressed to mine, I allowed myself to believe I’d moved past it. It’s clear now that the emotion still has a firm hold on me.
“It is simple,” I say, unwilling to let my voice waver. “I told you years ago that my name would be a problem for you. And that was before I became your boss.” I clutch the file with his name on it and drag it around, flipping it open. I will my vision to clear so I can tick off the information listed, ensuring he feels as uncomfortable as I do.
“Sienna, stop.” His harsh growl takes me by surprise, making me suck in a breath. His nostrils flare, like he’s reining in his emotions, and a heartbeat later, his face softens. “Your last name doesn’t matter to me. I told you years ago I don’t sleep with just anyone. And I’m here, willing to risk everything because you are worth the risk.”
I cough out a laugh. “Oh, thanks. I’m glad my magical pussy made you change your mind.”
He grinds his molars. “You know it’s not like that.”
“Isn’t it, though?” I narrow my eyes. “What did you say while you had your fingers inside me? That you missed my perfectcunt?” I sigh. “You got swept up in it. It’s fine. I get it. I did too. It won’t happen again.”
I slap the folder shut, the rage draining out of me. All that’s left now is exhaustion. I’m so tired of holding it together. I’m tired of being hurt over and over again. Of having my dreams, my so-called destiny, ripped away. But I’m determined. I survived after I lost the career that felt like part of my soul, so I can survive this too.
Instinctively, my thumb finds the ink on my wrist, the tattooed reminder of all I’ve lost.
Noah sighs. “It’s not your body I crave; it’s you. I’m sorry I’ve upset you. I’m sorry I didn’t come for you sooner.” He drops his head and drags a hand over the back of his neck. Then he straightens again, his expression firm. “But when I say I don’t think it was our time, I mean it.” He reaches into his pocket and pulls out his wallet, but when my intercom buzzes, he freezes.
A rush of relief swamps me as the receptionist’s voice echoes around the room.
“Sienna, sorry to bother you,” she says.
I pick up the phone, avoiding Noah’s gaze. “No problem. What do you need?”
“Ezra mentioned that you were interested in learning more about the players, so he’s having us pull tape from every prospect for this year’s draft so you can review and discuss this weekend when you travel with the team.”
I roll my eyes. God, that man works quickly. He was in this office an hour ago, and he’s already presenting me with my first challenge. Seems he’s determined to prove that I’m not capable of doing this job.
And I’m just determined enough to prove him wrong.
“Not a problem,” I say, keeping my tone light. “Send it over to my email when it’s ready.”
“I’ll send it via Dropbox since the files are so large.” She lowers her voice to just above a whisper. “It’s hours of footage. I have no idea how you’ll get through it all.”
I can’t help but smile. What an asshole. “I’ll figure it out. Thanks, Beth.”
She hums. “Anytime. By the way, sorry I didn’t have Mr. Harrison on the schedule this morning. If you forward your calendar to me and a list of visitors that are allowed to come and go, I’ll have them added.”
She drags out the last few words, like she’s fishing for information. Honestly, I don’t mind. She seems friendly enough. “It’s not a problem,” I assure her. “And no need to put Mr. Harrison on that list. I have a feeling we’ve already covered all the topics we need to discuss. We won’t need to meet again.”
Noah’s eyes bore into the side of my head, but with each word I speak, my confidence grows. This was a mistake. I should never have let him back into my life, let alone allowed him to touch me. Now that the facts have been laid out, we can both move on.
Just as I suspected would have happened all those years ago if I’d been open about who I was.
We were nothing but a beautiful idea. And that’s what we’ll remain.
Once I’ve set the phone in its cradle, I push off the desk, creating space. “I need to get back to work, and really, there’s nothing to apologize for. We were both taken by surprise and we let our emotions get the best of us.”
“That’s not what happened,” he says in that deep, husky voice that’s liable to get me pregnant if I stand too close.
