Page 90 of Born into Madness
“I’m fine, Sasha,” I try to tell him, but he just shakes his head.
“I thought he was still outside smoking. I didn’t realize he’d snuck in the back door to catch you when you came out.”
He sounds distraught, like he thinks he’s failed me, and there’s no way in hell I’m going to let him keep thinkingsomething as ridiculous and wrong as that. Reaching up, I clasp the back of his neck and pull him closer while I stand on my tippy toes to help him out. I know it can’t be comfortable to constantly have to lower his head to be face to face with me.
“You saved me in there, Sasha. You didn’t fail me.” I smile and kiss his mouth, even though it is still tense with worry. “This is the first time in as long as I can remember where I feel good after leaving them. You did that, so stop feeling guilty because you have nothing to feel guilty about.”
“He scared you,” he says, refusing to let himself off the hook. “He said awful things to you and made you feel bad. He intimidated you, and I didn’t even know it was happening.”
“That’s what he does. He’s a bully, Sasha, has been my whole life, but you knocked him on his ass for me, and I’m pretty sure you made him shit himself in fear.” I smile even bigger and add, “So thank you for that.”
He doesn’t smile, but his face softens the tiniest bit when I kiss him again.
“What did you whisper to him?” I ask.
“Nothing for you to worry about,” he says and then smacks me on the ass.
“You’re really not going to tell me?”
He softly brushes back a strand of my hair, hooking it behind my ear before slowly dragging his finger along my cheek. “Did he ever hurt you?”
Despite the calm tone he’s using, I know this is a loaded question. Sasha has very clear lines drawn in the sand, and he’s asking me a question that will let him know whether he’s allowed to cross it.
“Did he?” he asks again. His blue eyes search mine, pleading with me to tell him the truth.
“He’s not a nice drunk. He’s an ass when he’s sober, but it’s a thousand times worse when he’s drunk. I was scared a lot as a kid. He pushed me around a little, but he never flat-out hit me.”
I watch those same eyes turn hard when he asks, “Did he touch you in other ways?”
“No,” I quickly say. “I worried about it. There were times he looked at me in ways that sent a chill through every part of me, but he never acted on anything. He teased me, said horrible things to me, but the words he said never matched the looks he gave me. I put a lock on my door when I was sixteen. It’s the only way I could sleep at night, but he never touched me like that, Sasha. I swear.”
I thought my words might comfort him, but they only seem to send him closer to the edge. “You had to lock your door at night?”
“Well, yeah, but it might not have been necessary,” I quickly say. “I was just being cautious.”
I wish I could take my words back, because I’m willing to bet there’s a very solid, very large boot print in the sand, right over that fucking line I’ve just given him permission to cross.
“You can’t kill him,” I say, trying to reason with him.
He doesn’t say anything, and his silence is worse than a confirmation of my fears. When I see his eyes dart back to the apartment behind me, I know I need to get his ass away from here.
“I want to show you something,” I say, falling back on my heels and taking a step back while I grab his hand and lead him to the Jeep. He gives the apartment one last look before getting inside and looking over at me.
“What do you want to show me?”
I put my seatbelt on and clap my hands. “Just start driving and take the first right.”
He does what I ask, and after a few more directions, we arrive at the high school I graduated from. “Ta-da,” I say, throwing in some jazz hands like I’d done when presenting Bean Me Up to him.
A smile slips through as he watches me and then looks at the large brick building out the window. “Your high school?”
“Yep.” I look past the large building to the football field that’s currently shrouded in darkness. A crazy idea hits me, and once it’s in my head, I can’t get rid of it. Sasha has opened my eyes to a lot of things, but nothing has surprised me more than the sexual kinky stuff.
Turning to look at him, I feel my cheeks heat up as my fingers slip into my purse and grab onto the edge of his mask. “I have an idea,” I say, and then I laugh and immediately start to doubt myself.
Sasha’s interest is already piqued, though, and no way in hell is he going to let this go now that he’s seen how embarrassed I am.
“What is going on in that brilliant head of yours,krovinka, because you’re blushing like crazy right now.” The corner of his mouth raises a bit more. “You’ve got me very curious.”
