Page 78 of Backdraft
"I will ignore that remark." Taylor unwrapped his burger and sat in the chair with a groan.
"Long day?" Drea dragged a fry through the ketchup and put it in her mouth, exhibiting another sign of delight.
"Yea, I was called out and then had two PMs and reports to write."
"You're here now and can relax," she said around a mouthful of cheeseburger.
Taylor nodded and propped his feet on the end of the bed.
"This is so good." She held up the burger balanced precariously in her fingers and propped against the thumb cast. "Thanks for bringing it."
"It was my pleasure. I thought it might be a welcome change from hospital food." He grinned.
"Oh my God, you have no idea." She bit into the burger and put it down so she could grab a fry and then take a drink of her milkshake. "Have you ever mixed fries with a milkshake? It’s divine.”
“Can’t say that I have, but I’ll give it a try.”
“You should. I can't wait to get home."
"Home? Our home?" Taylor asked and shoved a bunch of fries in his mouth, waiting for her reply.
She smiled and met his gaze. "Yes…our home." His heart raced. He’d hoped she would say that. "Well, it's your house, but thanks to you asking me to come and stay, it really does seem like my home too."
"I'm glad. I want you to feel that way. When can you leave the hospital?"
"I don't know yet. I guess when the doc feels comfortable about my arm." She tipped her head, indicating her left arm. "Maybe another week. Hopefully sooner. Oh, I remembered something."
"You did? From the fire?"
"Not that fire. From the fire when I was a kid. I told you a very little bit about it, but it is funny how memories can be triggered. I had this one when I saw my arm not bandaged."
As they continued to eat their meal, Taylor remained silent, listening to Drea as she recounted the fire from her childhood that destroyed her house and killed her father, and all the emotional turmoil that had stemmed from it.
He finished the burger, balled up the wrap, and put it in the bag, careful not to disturb Drea's train of thought.
He knew how important it was for her to talk about it. To get it out and unload it. When she finished and picked up her milkshake, he was shocked how much happier and relaxed she looked.
As if remembering the horrible event had woken up her soul and helped her to deal with it. As if after all these years, she’d had a breakthrough that explained all her inner fears, obsessions, and beliefs. A culmination of issues that she was finally able to make sense of.
He envied her.
Taylor knew what it was like to live with the heaviness of the past. He lived it every day. Even when he wasn't thinking about it, the load was there.
He emptied the last of his fries into his mouth and chewed, wondering if it could work for him as well? He decided the time was now.
“Drea, I need to tell you something.” She raised her eyes to him.
“Okay, what’s up?” He smiled watching her munch on the burger.
“It’s a bit of a long story, but I feel it’s time to share.” He put his food down, took a long breath. “Okay, here goes.”
For the next while, she remained silent as he told her about the many deaths he felt responsible for. Dr. Death, he’d referred to himself. Why couldn’t he do more for the sufferers during the pandemic? Not taking the time off he should have to rest and refresh, and instead working longer hours so others could. And, how his exhaustion kept him from being on top of his game. He even told her about his sister-in-law. It nearly broke him all over again when he told Drea how he felt responsible.
When he looked up at her, she had tears in her eyes. His heart swelled. She was crying for him. He took the hand she reached out to him.
“Come here,” she said, her voice soft.
He did, and sat on the bed. She pulled him down until he was lying beside her, careful not to hurt her.
