Page 39 of Agent Zero
“Could mean they’re grasping at straws.Could be a convenience store robbery in the area, they go silent for those.Maybe I’m just paranoid, but better safe than sorry, right?”
“Right.”How would anyone know where we are?She tried to make her fingers unclench.
They wouldn’t, unless they have ways of finding out, and that...
“Calm down, Holly.We’ll stop in a couple towns to get you more coffee.Caffeine withdrawal headaches aren’t fun.”He checked the rearview again, following signs for the freeway.“I’m not going to let anything happen to you.”
“That’s awfully nice.”What was she supposed to say, to that?“But, you know, it already has.Happened, I mean.”More than you know.
“True.”He sighed.The sound seemed to catch him by surprise, too.His right hand reached over, and he threaded his warm fingers into the knot her hands had become.“I’m...sorry.I mean, I’m not sorry you’re with me.I would have kept working, and coming to see you, long as I could.”
The silence between them was a balloon again, this time full of crowding, jostling, whirling questions.Her stomach flipped, repeated the trick.
Was she going to start another round of dry heaving?
“Holly.”Now he sounded very far away.“Breathe.”
I’m trying to.Was this it?All the stress finally swooping down to finish her off?
Ironic.Really ironic.
Reese hit the turn signal, the car plunging off the main road.A residential section full of autumn-painted trees swallowed them.The houses were small, though with plenty of breathing room; this wasn’t quite a city, and the hotel was only there because the interstate ran right nearby.
Her brain refused to work.There wasn’t enough air, she kept making a funny little whistling sound when she tried to inhale.
“Crap.”The car swerved to the curb; he hit the parking brake and his seat belt’s catch.“Holly.Breathe.”
His hand slid free of hers.Holly shut her eyes, trying to figure out where all the air had gone.A burst of cold from her left side—he’d opened the driver’s door.
When he opened hers, she almost,almosthad her lungs back under control.His hot, callused fingers pressed against her forehead, and the smell of damp rainy autumn swirled around her.
“Shh, sweetheart.”He had her seat belt off too, and Holly was glad, because it meant she could lean over and retch.
There was nothing in her stomach but a swallow of coffee.Bile scorched the back of her throat.She gasped, tears welling between her eyelids, and Reese was talking to her again, low and urgent.
“It’s all right, baby.I’m right here, nothing’s going to hurt you.Try to breathe.I’m right here, Holly.I’m not going anywhere.It’s okay.Everything’s okay.”
No, it’s not.She hadn’t had one of these since the divorce papers arrived, the blank-faced process server mumbling as he shoved them into her numb arms?—
She grabbed onto the thought.Panic attack.You know what to do.She brought her hand up to her mouth, got a good grip on the skin on the back of her wrist, and bit down, hard.
“Christ!”Now Reese sounded worried, though there was really nothing for him to be concerned about.“Holly?Don’t, Jesus, don’t hurt yourself!”
The pain jolted her, interrupted the spiraling panic.Which broke in a gush of sweat, her heart thundering in her ears so hard she could barely hear him.At least now she could breathe, even though the world had narrowed to a single fuzzy point of light.
We’re worried about your tests, Dr.Gregory had said.We want to run a few more.The walls were paper thin in that medical suite; she’d already heard him and the tall, queenly female doctor passing back and forth terms that weren’t cryptic at all when you’d helped your husband prep for med-school tests.Or when you’d heard the same thing from the doctors as your father died by inches in front of you.
Things likeelevated countsandswollen lymph nodesandprejaundiceandinsulinomas, too, look at this.Holly listening, alternately hot and cold, knowledge a live coal inside her chest.Pancreas.Virtually asymptomatic in the beginning.The nausea, the back pain, the digestive problems when shecouldeat—she was lucky to have escaped jaundice, really, you couldn’t hide turning yellow.
She came back to herself slowly, leaning forward.Her forehead was against something warm, and someone was holding her.It felt nice.
Safe.
He smelled good.No cologne, just clean healthy male.She hadn’t been this close to anyone in a long, long time.He was still talking, low and soothing.
“—sweetheart, I promise it’ll be better.I’ll make it better.Just relax.Just breathe nice and easy, baby, and everything will get better.I’m right here.”
How does he know what to say?The truth was, she’d been waiting all her life to hear that sort of thing.It was a damn shame it had to come from him.Reese probably wasn’t a bad person, but her life was gone.Completely thrown out the window.
