Page 49 of Agent Zero
“Reese—” So much more about him made sense now.
“I hit eighteen and the streets, sleeping in a state home or shelter when I could.I got lucky—an Army recruiter wanted to get his quota, so he did me a favor.I was smart enough to figure out they’d feed me there, and the rules made it easy.I even liked basic training, being useful.Being worth something.Then...the accident.They made me into, you know, what I am.”
“Bionic.”The sheer unreality of the situation could have been laughable, if she’d felt any amusement at all.The image of Reese as a young man, struggling to deal with all this, was pretty heartbreaking, when you thought about it.
You and your strays, Phillip always said.I won’t keep buying cat food when we’re starving, Holl.
Had he ever wondered where she went after he told her he wanted a divorce?Had he come back to the rented duplex and looked for her?She’d been moving so steadily from one thing to the next, she’d never even thought about it before.
Reese swallowed hard, again.“You keep saying that.I’m all flesh, Holly.”
I’ll just bet you are.Everything considered, they were having a very calm conversation.She just had to ignore the soaked crotch of her panties—good God, it had been a long time, but still, she didn’t have enough clean laundry to have this sort of response to a man.Could he hear the way her heart was triphammering?
Could he smell arousal, too?God.
Holly gathered what was left of her brainpower and her courage, so to speak, and plunged ahead.“You’re not developmentally delayed now.”
“Nope, they fixed that.I’m tired, though, haven’t been sleeping.The little bastards help, but...”
Wait, what?“Little bastards?”
Reese rolled his head to the side, looked at her.“I’m sorry because I’mnotsorry, goddammit.I’m glad you’re with me.I’m a selfish bastard, I have you, and you can’t even run away from me because you’ll end up dead.I’m not above using that to keep you with me, and after a while you’ll get used to it.I can’t even be sorry about that.It’s all I wanted from the first time I walked into that diner, now I have it, and I’m not giving it up.”
“Well.”Holly searched for something reasonable to say.Nothing in her entire life’s sweep of experience had even remotely prepared her for something like this.“That’s, uh.Not very romantic.”And I’m not going to be around very long, so it doesn’t matter.
Of course, if it didn’t matter, maybe she could...what?Just go with the flow?One last hurrah before the curtain call?
What would he do when the inevitable happened?At least one person would miss her, and though it was awful to think of him feeling the same sharp grief she’d suffered when Dad died, it was still almost comforting.She’d worked so hard to pull away so that nobody would miss her at all, nobody would feel that kind of pain on her account.Because it was unutterably greedy to want someone to miss you, wasn’t it?
Compared to that, his own admission of selfishness didn’t seem so bad.
Reese blinked, and the open surprise crossing his expression would have been hilarious too, if she’d felt like laughing.“I’ll do romantic if you want, Holly.Candlelight, roses, everything.All you have to do is tell me, you know, but you have to work with me, I’ve never done it before.And they’re not going to give up on looking for us.I’ve got a bad feeling.”
When you say that, I’ll bet it means something really bad indeed.“That’s why you came back to my apartment?”
“Why did you think?”He sounded honestly curious.
“I thought maybe you felt, I don’t know.Sorry for me.”
“I messed up your entire life, so it was just the least I could do, is that it?Maybe a normal person would feel that way.I can’t tell.”His mouth compressed, and when Reese spoke again it was very softly.“I’m not normal.But I wasn’t about to leave you there.”
“Why?”I need to know, even if it doesn’t matter.
“You seriously can’t figure out why?”
“Maybe it would go a little easier if you just said it.”Oh, my God, am I really having this conversation with a bionic spy?
“What else do you want me to say?”Now there was a hint of anger, well concealed, a single flash in those dark, dark eyes.“I’m not normal, not a real person.The only time I feel real at all is when I’m looking at you, when I’m around you, okay?You’re everything I thought I was protecting when I went out to do my duty for my goddamn country, and now I’m barely keeping us both alive.I’m not a hero, goddammit, I’m not even human.I’m a fake, I’m selfish, I’m an agent, I’m unreasonable and hair-trigger and goddamn dangerous, and I’m also going to take care of you.So do me a favor and stop with the rabbit-talk and the not trusting me.”He let go of her wrist and levered himself off the bed in one clean, economical motion.
How fast could he move?One second he’d been by the window, the next in front of her with his back to the door.It was eerie.It was downright terrifying.
Still...
I’m not a real person.Was that what he thought?The same man who’d come back to get her, the same man who’d held her during a panic attack and told her it was going to be all right, the same man who had tipped so well probably because he didn’t know what else to do?
He was inside a shell just like hers, except somehow she was in there with him.
Holly pushed herself up on her elbows, cautiously.Her entire body tingled, which was a nice change.“Reese?”
