Page 7 of Love Me
I glanced around at the guys and noticed Knox watching the door close with that suspicious look again. What was weird was that Keelan and Creed were also staring at the door with the same look. Colt, however, was staring at his brothers like me, looking as confused as I felt.
“Why do you all look like that?” Colt asked them.
Knox, Keelan, and Creed exchanged a look.
“I don’t trust him,” Creed said, looking at me. “He didn’t apologize for drugging you. Instead, he deflected by telling you things you would want to hear, and I didn't believe him when he said he was testing us to see if we could protect you. That’s not how the fight went down. I’m sorry, Shi. I hope I’m wrong, but something doesn’t feel right.”
The eldest Stone brothers said nothing and that told me that they agreed with Creed.
He had apologized yesterday before… Now that I thought about it, maybe he hadn’t. Was telling someone you didn’t know how to apologize to them the same as saying you were sorry? And if what Creed said was true, then everything Logan had said—his sad speech as to why he couldn’t step up as a parent—had been a lie to get me to let my guard down.
Logan was good at lies, especially if they manipulated a situation to get what he wanted. I’d just never thought he would do that to me. Or, honestly, I’d never wanted to believe he’d do that to me.
I went to get off Keelan’s lap, but he refused to let me go. “I have this feeling that you’re a flight risk,” he said in a low voice, but everyone seemed to hear.
Unable to meet his eyes, I stared at the strap of his sling. “You’re putting yourselves at risk being with me. I’m putting you at risk staying—”
“You promised, Shi,” Creed said. “Run or fight, we do it together, remember?”
It had been wrong to make that promise.
“One of us could die tomorrow,” Knox said. “Be it a heart attack, a brain aneurysm, or a car crash. What have I told you about living in fear?”
Living in fear isn’t living.
2
The next morning,I jerked awake hours before my alarm was due to go off. I lay there trying to calm the pounding in my chest. Keelan was sleeping soundlessly next to me, which I was grateful for. He needed to rest.
Once I was calm, I rolled onto my back with the intent to go back to sleep. Instead, I found myself staring at the dancing shadows on the ceiling as my mind became overwhelmed with thoughts. Thoughts of what I needed to get done that day, what assignments were due for school, which in turn reminded me of Cassy. Then I found myself thinking about her father, the sheriff, and then I was thinking about Logan, which pulled Mr. X into my thoughts. That was my breaking point.
Careful not to wake Keelan, I pushed off the covers and crept out of his room. I went home and changed into yellow athletic leggings and a matching racerback top. By the time I was stretching in my front yard, the sun was starting to rise.
Before I took off running through the neighborhood, I set a timer on my phone for one hour. That was it. I refused to let my run exceed that.
At the end of that hour, the sun had risen from behind the mountains and I had worked up a good sweat. It amazed me that even though it was late October, it was still hot out. Pulling my phone from my pocket, I turned off the alarm. I was down the street from my house and felt the temptation to run the rest of the way.
One hour. No more,I told myself and made myself walk.
As I approached my house, I saw Knox sitting on the steps leading up to my porch, drinking from a coffee mug. Walking toward him across my lawn, I pulled my earbuds out. “Did I wake you when I left this morning?”
“I went to check on Keelan and you weren’t there. Did you have a nightmare?”
I shook my head. “I woke up and my brain wouldn’t let me fall back to sleep. I figured a run would help me clear it.”
“Did it help?” he asked as he brought the mug to his mouth to take a sip.
I nodded.
“How long did you run for?”
“I only let myself run for an hour.”
Knox stood. “You’re allowed to run for however long you want. As long as you’re not running to avoid dealing with things.”
“I know. But it’s so easy to cross that line—to chase the pain that I can control versus feeling the pain I cannot. So for now, I’m going to take baby steps.”
Understanding, he nodded. “Want breakfast?”
