Page 11 of What Is Love
People greeted us as we passed by. A few stopped us. Those were Brandon’s friends or teammates. Every one of them noticed Brandon holding my hand, but only one commented on it.
“Are you two a thing?” Oliver, one of Brandon’s teammates, asked.
Glancing at me with a smile, Brandon didn’t hesitate to answer, “Yeah.”
He’d gone from “give me a chance” to “we’re official” fast enough to give me whiplash. All I could manage was a stiff smile.
Still holding my hand, he led me farther into the house to what seemed to be the designated drink station, near a large, fully equipped kitchen. Two football players were manning the kegs. They both let out boisterous, drunk greetings when they saw Brandon and me before grabbing a Solo cup each and filling them with beer.
“I thought you said you weren’t coming,” Alicia’s familiar voice said from behind me.
She and Evie had asked me earlier today at lunch while I’d kept myself busy actually doodling with a pen in my notebook. It had helped distract me from the delicious smells coming from their food. I, of course, had told them I hadn’t been planning to come tonight, which they’d just accepted. They never tried to talk me into things. It was a perk of our friendship. After that, they had carried on talking amongst themselves about what they were going to wear and who they were hoping to get alone tonight.
I turned to face Alicia. She had decided to wear the short, skintight red dress she and Evie had been talking about at lunch. It looked good on her and showed off her long, sun-kissed legs. She was staring at my and Brandon’s interlocked hands with a frown. Seeing that frown reminded me of another reason I hadn’t agreed to “hang out” with Brandon the last time he’d asked. Alicia had liked him for years.
“I wasn’t planning to,” I said, and quickly added, “But I changed my mind.”
Her bark-colored eyes flicked to meet mine and different emotions passed through them. Confusion. Hurt. Anger. The last one was quickly covered up with a fake smile. “Are you two together?”
Alicia and I weren’t as close as she was with Evie. We’d never tried to close the gap between us, either. However, I still didn’t want to hurt her. I’d never wanted to hurt anyone.
Yet I had. Because I was a coward. Because I didn’t want to get hurt.
I wanted to tell her we weren’t together—that I didn’t want this. Instead, I did what I always did. I just stood there.
Brandon let go of my hand to take the two beers that the guys manning the kegs held out to him. “We’re together,” he told her as he handed me one of the beers.
Alicia's fake smile wavered. “That’s so great.”
“What’s great?” Evie said as she walked up next to Alicia. Evie was as tall as Alicia and had skin just as sun-kissed. Tans were odd to see at the beginning of spring. They had both gone somewhere tropical over winter break and spent every day tanning at the beach, which was why they still had a lingering glow. Evie had shoulder-length, very pale blonde hair, unlike Alicia’s long, curly, toffee-colored hair.
“Brandon and Lottie are dating,” Alicia said with an overly cheerful tone.
Evie’s face fell. “Oh.”
“I was surprised, too. I didn’t think there was anyone at school who met her standards.” Alicia let out a fake chuckle, as if to pass her jab off as a joke. “You know how Kendrys are.”
“To be honest, I wasn’t sure if she was into men or women,” Evie said with a furrowed brow. “She really hasn’t shown any interest in anyone. When did this happen?”
“Let’s not interrogate them, Evie?” Alicia said, her tone sounding off—like standing there listening to the details of how I’d stabbed her in the back was the last thing she wanted to do.
Evie picked up on that as quickly as I had. “You’re right. We can get all the details another time.” Evie hooked arms with Alicia and the two of them took off toward another room in the house.
“Your friends aren’t very nice to you,” Brandon said just before taking a sip of his beer.
I didn’t know how to respond to that. Explaining why I deserved Alicia’s anger would betray her more and I wasn’t about to agree with him. So I just stared down at the cup he’d handed me earlier, wondering what to do with it. I couldn’t drink it. In fact, I’d never drunk beer before. Beer was a big no to Mother. According to her, alcohol was empty calories. She didn’t want me to drink, but understood that to keep up appearances amongst my peers, I’d need to. Therefore, I was allowed to drink liquor straight up. No mixed drinks or beer.
Brandon touched my arm. “It was just an observation. I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“I’m not upset,” I lied.
We made our way down to the basement. It had been converted into a huge entertainment space with a bar in the corner, an air hockey table and pool table in the center, and a wall lined with full-size arcade machines. That seemed to be where a lot of Brandon’s friends were. I knew all of them. So introductions weren’t needed. Rumors must have spread amongst them because none were surprised to see me there with their friend.
I got bored fast when they started talking about sports. It made me wonder if this was what it felt like to be an escort. Not the kind who slept with men for money, but the ones who attended events with rich men who didn’t want to go alone.
My wandering thoughts were brought back to the present when Brandon’s arm hooked around my lower back and his hand rested on my hip. It felt possessive. I didn’t like it.
Time seemed to slow down. Being uncomfortable usually did that. I had no choice but to stand there as they talked, joked, and laughed with each other. A few times, one of his friends tried to engage with me with questions about how Brandon and I had gotten together. I never got to answer; Brandon spoke for me every time. After those few attempts to include me, no one tried again.
