Page 94 of What Is Love
“I don’t know about you, Roe, but I thought it was hot,” a voice said.
I felt Reid tense up as much as I did. I was pretty sure we glanced toward the foot of the bed at the same time. Both Roe and Wyatt were standing there staring down at us.
Reid pulled his fingers from me, making my breath hitch. He sat up with my hand still in his boxers. “How long have you been standing there?”
Wyatt hummed as he thought about it. “The whole time.”
Roe didn’t say anything. He just stared at me.
“And you didn’t say anything because?” Reid asked.
Wyatt glanced at Roe. “We were about to wake you both up, but she grabbed your dick, and I had to see how that would play out. It was kind of weird, not gonna lie. Clearly, you both want to fuck each other, but neither of you want to admit it.”
“You can shut up now,” Reid grumbled.
Slowly, I pulled my cum-covered hand out of his boxers and got up to head to the bathroom. They all went quiet and I knew they were watching me until I closed the door. I went to the pedestal sink and washed my hands. Had we been in the moment still, I would have licked my fingers clean before asking him to fuck me.
I closed my eyes as I sighed. What was I doing with them? What were they doing with me? I didn’t understand anything. I felt like I was addicted to Roe. I’d been feeling a pull to him for a long time. So everything felt stronger with him. But there was also a pull to Wyatt and Reid.
I shook my head to cast away my thoughts. None of it mattered. Our time was limited. I couldn’t belong to any of them and none of them could be mine.
After washing my hands, I cleaned up my face the best I could. Last night’s makeup had smeared like crazy.
When I was done in the bathroom, I padded out, finding them all hanging out in the kitchen. Reid had a coffee mug in his hand and Roe sat on a stool at the island, fiddling with his lip piercing with his fingers. Wyatt was sitting next to him eating a sandwich. He was the only one who looked my way when I approached.
Wyatt got up from his stool. “Sit down. We brought breakfast.”
I did as he said and sat next to Roe, who appeared lost in his thoughts. I glanced at Reid. He was giving a mean look to the floor.
“Should I leave?” I asked.
“No,” Roe and Reid said at the same time, sounding equally distracted.
“I feel like I should apologize again,” I said.
“I’m not surprised it happened,” Roe said with a sigh. “I assumed it’d be Wyatt first, if I’m being honest. But now that it has, I’m trying to figure out how it’s all going to work.”
“There’s nothing to figure out,” Reid said. “Because it won’t happen again.”
Wyatt scoffed at that as he set something wrapped in front of me. “You’re a terrible liar. Even to yourself.”
By the shape alone, it looked similar to the sandwich Wyatt had been eating. I unwrapped it and saw that it was. Between two slices of brioche were bacon, ham, cheese, eggs, and some sort of sauce. I took a bite; pleasantly surprised, I made a yum sound.
“I love it when you eat,” Wyatt said.
“I rarely get to do it,” I responded before taking another, bigger bite.
They all went quiet for a minute until Wyatt spoke again.
“Because you’re not allowed.” Wyatt didn’t phrase it like a question. He knew because I had already let it slip when he had asked me what my favorite food was.
I set my sandwich down. “It’s always been expected of me to look a certain way. My mother thinks I’m still not thin enough and a lot of the time, as a punishment, I’m not allowed to eat.”
“That’s why you never eat lunch,” Roe said.
I nodded. “I’m not allowed to. Lately, because my mother thinks I still need to lose five pounds, Prue, one of our housekeepers, makes me a boiled chicken breast for dinner. Until I lose it, that’s what I’ll eat.” I set the sandwich down, feeling guilty. I hadn’t weighed myself in a while. I’d used to do it every morning. What if Clay was right and I had gained weight?
I felt like I had dug myself into a deep hole. Now I couldn’t climb out. All I could do was wait for Mother to come along and bury me in it.
