Page 52 of Beyond The Maples
"What if they went beyond the barrier?" she says quietly.
We sit in silence.
"Say something," she huffs.
"They would have all died instantly then, right?" Leo asks.
The rusty gears in my head seem to be stuck.
"Well, what if that isn't true..." Farra says hesitantly.
My brows knit together as I look at her.
"What do you know?" My words come out in an accidental demand.
"We've never told anyone this, but I'm positive whatever happened to my brother, had to do with the barrier. He mentioned something about it when he first came back. He was only partially lucid, but I think he touched it. I still don't know what happened, and he's not dead. But another member of his crew was never found. My brother was... altered. But not killed. What we have always beentaught is that the barrier is a volatile entity; living, breathing magic. Those who come in contact with it are killed instantly. I've always imagined it like some sort of electric fence."
Shit, I wish there was a way to test this, but they've tried for years to figure out the barrier and come up empty-handed. Unless that wasn't true...? All conduits have been destroyed, along with most modern and hybrid technology, including the...
"What did you say?" Leo says loudly, snapping me out of my pacing thoughts.
"Was I talking out loud?" I ask, shaking my head.
"Yes, and really fast. Something about a test?"
I just nod and continue pacing. Why is this so difficult to wrap my head around? Why does it feel like there are clouds hovering over my thoughts? A tangled web I'm close to unraveling, but I can never quite get there?
"Maybe we should go visit the old woman," I say, all but giving up explaining my cascade of feverish thoughts.
We'd all agreed to keep our distance, well, mostly Farra demanded we keep our distance. Sib's home is like a beacon for discipline, and it isn't the type of friendship that would keep us out of trouble.
"Leo's girlfriend? Why? I didn't see any old books or scrolls there that could be helpful."
Leo scoffs. "She wishes, but also she's smart enough not to keep that type of information just right out in the open!"
I'm still pacing as they continue to argue. "Oh right, because her various ancient jars of herbs, and the other thousand different violations I saw in there, werescreamingthat she's a cautious old woman." Farra rolls her eyes, saying something about arguing with a child, which sends Leo into a frenzy as he starts throwing random things.
"Look; I'm not sure why, but I think she has answers and we really don’t have any more leads. I have to take these books back and I'll keep looking, but otherwise we're just... We only have a couple more weeks before we're out on our first assignment, and I feel like we're going in blind." I see their worry, so I add: "I'll go by myself. It makes more sense. We're always together, so if you two make yourselves visible, no one will notice me gone for a few hours. There's no sense in all of us being put at risk when one can get the job done."
Leo protests, but it's Farra who cuts him off. "Fat chance. Where you go, we go. We're a team." she says it with such finality I'm left gaping at her.
Leo pipes up instantly, agreeing, "Yeah, what she said."
I swallow a lump in my throat. I think again how strange it feels to have friends like this. I never felt lonely at home, and maybe I loved my siblings so much I'd never realized I'd been missing other pieces. Even with Deacon, there was always a sense that I was on my own. When I asked for help, it often felt like I only created "more" for myself; more feelings to manage, more fires to put out. The weight had always lain solely with me, and maybe that wasn't anyone's fault, but it was the truth. I'd never felt like I could share the burden. To have people I feel I can count on, as much as they can count on me, is an unexpected, overwhelming relief.
Not only that, but I don't need to ask or beg like I sometimes did with Deacon. I don't feel that twirling pit of shame that comes with needing help. The self-loathing that would frequently accompany it.
My instinct to curl in on myself, to carry the weight alone, comes out, and they simply don't let me. Like it was never an option to begin with.
My brow furrows as I think of all the little ways my life has changed since I came here. How I thought it was the end of everything. I'll always cherish my childhood best friend, but this type of friendship feels undeniably different.
They stare at me, probably wondering why I've become so suddenly quiet and misty-eyed. I do the only logical thing I can think to in that moment, which is tackle them both off the bed in the most obnoxious hug I can manage.
I wake the next morning feeling determined, my heart full. I run the track, not only because I have to, but because I revel now in the way it makes me feel, the strength of my legs taking me faster and further every day. I am almost skipping to the mess hall for breakfast when I pause, seeing a familiar figure standing in the hallway. My heart bottoms out, plummeting into my stomach, and I feel as if every muscle in my body locks into place.
"Hey little tree, miss me?" I barely register the familiar cadence of his voice, nothing beyond the pulse pounding in my ears as I stand frozen in the hallway.
"Deacon?"
