Page 92 of Beyond The Maples
"Tell me something," he says through a deep inhale, but again his voice sounds different. There's no demand, it's more like a hesitant request.
"Like what?" I whisper. I don't know why we're whispering, but it feels like if I'm too loud, it will snap whatever momentary truce we've stumbled into.
"What would you be? If you could be something other than this?" he asks.
My eyes dance around the dark, and I wait for an answer to float easily off my lips. But the easy lie I'm waiting for doesn't come. Because wishes and dreams are for girls with living parents, and siblings who are healthy. For people with steady meals, and walls that don't leak toxic air into their homes, who are from times and places withmore. People who simply have more time.
Or who are actually good at something other than idle chatter, reading a room, and blending in.
I say none of this, or the dozen other things bouncing around my brain, so I just say, "I'm honestly not sure."
"Come on, nothing? Not art or music, or maybe a chef? You seem to really like food." I can feel the his shrug and I scoff.
"What do you mean,I really like food? Are you watching me eat? Good Gods, don't you have better things to do? Why exactly are you paying such close attention,Lieutenant?" I do a piss-poor job of hiding my offence.
"I didn't mean it like... It was a compliment."
"Well, you're awful at compliments, then," I throw the words back without thinking.
"I've just seen you in the cafeteria. You often look... enthralled. And chef's food isn't all that exciting." He huffs and then he adds under his breath, "And you're impossible not to pay attention to."
I don't know how to respond to that, mostly out of fear I'm not understanding him properly and I'm going to embarrass myself. So I do what any sane, self-conscious woman would do; I redirect in an obvious dig for information I have no business wondering about.
"You tell me something. How about... how long have you and Vera been together?" My hand slides up, playing with the frayed end of my braid as I ask.
I expect some redirection, maybe some indignation or cursing, telling me to stop prying into his private affairs. What I do not expect is loud, thunderous laughter.
"Are you insane? Wait until she hears this. She's going to hate it." It's a deep, rich sound that shakes his shoulders and coats my skin in something warm.
"I'm not her type. Even if I was, she's like a sister to me," he says through another bout of chuckles.
I frown. "Why? You're both beautiful and love a good scowl. I think you'd be perfect for each other."
"You think I'm beautiful?" he muses, humour lacing his words. He's teasing me again, and my head spins with how abruptly he went from being a brooding, lethal asshole to... whatever this is. I've seen Vera do it too, moments when no one's watching, where she seems human and genuine.
Silence sits with us a beat too long, and I remember his tattoos. I still can't shake the feeling that I've seen them before. My mind wanders to the night of the Games before I left home––that stranger who was fighting. He had been huge and tattooed as well. But that couldn't have been him. Right?
He nudges me at my lack of response, which has me speaking without thinking.
"You're the one watching me eat, Sunshine." I laugh and he goes momentarily still.
"Don't call me Sunshine," he growls.
"I think the name suits you, actually. You have a very sunny demeanor. Cadets could call you Sunny, for short."
I'm fully giggling now, whispering "Sunshine" at him as he grunts "Stop" and various other threats. He attempts to grab my wrists, but it's hard in the dark apparently because I keep wriggling free. That is until Tane is completely on top of me, my wrists bound by his hands above my head, pinning me to the wall. Ours breaths mingle and chests touch as we inhale slowly. He's hovering over me, and I wonder why I'm desperate to feel his weight crushing me.
"Are you going to behave?" he asks, his voice like spun silk, caressing my face. An inferno sparks deep in my gut.
"Yes..." I answer, in a breathy voice I barely recognize. He inches closer to me, and I can't help myself as I whisper "Sunshine" into his ear. My lips accidentally graze his earlobe, causing me to inhale sharply. He freezes momentarily, a small rumble coming from him before his head sinks down beside mine with a thud against the floor, his body melting against mine as he gives up on holding himself off of me, and I let out a sigh I hope he doesn't hear. His head lifts slightly, and he slowly rests it in the nook between my head and shoulders. I can feel how close his lips are, and now I'm desperate for him to close the little distance.What is wrong withme?He's my commanding officer. An asshole who probably murders people for fun.
"Tell me something else, then." His voice is barely above a whisper. "How'd that family get away yesterday?"
I go completely still. Prey about to be consumed. But then I decide that I'm really sick of being prey. Of being controlled and told what's best, and biting my tongue to keep everyone else safe and comfortable.
"How about you tell mesomething,Lieutenant. Does it not bother you that that family was clearly minding their own business, trying to survive in this desolate shit storm of a country, and we were about to uproot them simply because our beloved Council figured out they were near new growth, and likely didn't want that information reaching the public? Does it not bother you how easily the Council seems to send people to their deaths; people who are simply trying to exist? Do you not have a fucking spine?" I'm out of breath from my outburst, shocking myself a little.
Tane is still as glass now. I'm not even sure he's breathing, and that only fans the flames that seem to have ignited in my soul in this dark pit.
