Page 14 of A Shot at Love
“Is it Daniel?” she presses.
“No!” I protest, gut reaction. After a moment of her silent skepticism, I sigh and rub my eyes. “Maybe a little. We had this moment in the locker room. He was so kind and handsome, and he shared this memory…” I drift off, remembering his warm hand on mine. His story about my game versus Gonzaga. “But it’s utterly ridiculous for me to think about him that way.” I need to stop that thought train right in its tracks. Daniel left me. Without a word. He was perfect and kind and intensebeforehe disappeared. Even if he’s the same way now, that means he could disappear again. Icannotlet him back into my life.
Jadea practically jumps off the couch at my confession. “I knew it! You do like him. More than just some dumb celebrity crush!” She reaches down and yanks me off the couch. I almost tumble across the rug. “We need to find you the right outfit!”
I laugh a little, mostly out of guilt, as she pulls me into my room. My closet looks like it vomited a sequined rainbow. “I thought you hate clothes!”
“But you don’t!” She begins tearing through the pile of clothes. “And you have to show him your best self.”
“Jadea!” I pull her attention back to me. I’m starting to feel the icy talons of panic in my chest. “I don’t like Daniel. I swear. I don’t want to go out with him.” The more time I spend with him, the more likely it is that he’ll somehow pull me back in. I have enough problems without him.
Her brow furrows. “What’s wrong? I thought you just said you hada moment.”She emphasizes the last two words, the way all best friends do during girl talk.
There’s a moment where I waver, looking at Jadea. We’ve always told each other everything. When she graduated from Stanford, I felt a quiet sense of abandonment. I was always close with my teammates and some of the people in my classes, but it felt like Jadea and I were a set. I hardly went anywhere without her. At the beginning of my senior year, I struggled to figure out my personality with her gone. It was horrible, until it wasn’t. I started to lead my team in a silent but steady sort of way. I met Daniel, my first love. Really, my only love. I’ve never been predisposed to being boy crazy or having lots of crushes or one-night stands. Evan and I dated for six months last year and were pretty serious, but it didn’t feel like Daniel and I did. And because it was so confusing and wonderful to be with Daniel, I never could explain it to Jadea. She knows that dating and love are not something I can just jump into, and she’s always thought Evan was my first boyfriend, beyond the one I had in the sophomore year of high school, whose greatest passion was baseball trading cards.
I push through my fear. I need to explain Daniel now, when it still feels like I’m not caught in a web of lies. I could maybe explain the secrecy during college, since hundreds of miles separated us. But now, the longer I wait to tell her, the worse the lying gets. “Jadea, the thing is…I already know Daniel.”
She looks at me like I have two heads. “How? You meanin real life?” She makes it sound like maybe I’m just a delusional fan girl who feels like she “knows” a celebrity.
I sigh. “Yes, real life. We knew each other at Stanford.”
Curiosity and excitement flash across her expressive face. “How could you not have told me? That is so cool.” She jumps up from sitting on the bed and paces, trying not to step on my avalanche of clothes. “You mean we’ve been talking about him all this time, and youactually knowhim? Were you in a class together? I can’t believe you didn’t tell me, considering we talk about his show all the time.” Her expression morphs a bit, confusion reaching her eyes. “Was he a big jerk or something? I always thought you liked him, so why keep him a secret?”
She’s talking so much; I begin to shrink a little. Her assumption that we only knew each otherin passingfeels like a stake in my heart. If this is how she reacts to that, how will she react to our secret five-month relationship?
So, the words fly out of my mouth before I can stop them. “Wewerein a class together!” I wonder if my voice sounds as hollow to my ears as it does to hers. “And we were doing this huge group project and he…” I search for a reason not to like Daniel and what comes out is shockingly close to the truth. “Abandoned me! We got a C, and I had to do extra credit to maintain my GPA.” It all sounds silly to my ears, but it might explain the weird tension between us. “We argued after I accused him of wanting me to do all the work and then we didn’t see each other again. Now it’s a bit awkward.”
“Huh.” Jadea ponders this. “He seems like such a nice guy. I guess he’s grown up a lot.” She says it so easily; I wonder if it’s true. Has Daniel grown up? Should I forgive him, just like that?
Fortunately, Jadea has moved on from interrogating me to worrying about my love life. “He really seems to like you, Annie. He always has this soft look on his face when he sees you, and he practically begged to be the one to chase after you the other day. Maybe you intimidated him at Stanford! Youwerea big basketball star.” She waggles her eyebrows at me.
I snort. “Yeah, because my quiet girl routine is so intimidating.”
“Seriously, give him a chance.” Jadea clasps her hands in a pleading gesture. “You two really seem to connect, no matter how stupid he was in the past.”
I swallow at the truth in her statement.Lightning in a bottle. Biggest fan.“Right.” Say Daniel did grow up. Say he had a legitimate reason for leaving without a trace, which I’m not sure even exists. Being with Daniel would still be a mistake. We don’t even live in the same city. I’m currently involved in his work and a massive league scandal. My paternal family is potentially full of toxic manipulators, and I’m currently giving my mom the silent treatment.
Yet, my heart still lurches every time I see his smile.
Jadea watches as all the conflicting emotions play out on my face. “No matter your beef in the past, he can bring you and this team some good press. We’ll show him a good time tonight, and if he’s really so bad, he’ll be gone soon.”
I take a deep breath. “Right.”
She looks at the clock on my nightstand. “Olabisi and the other girls are meeting us downstairs in twenty minutes. We need to figure out your looknow.” We survey the mess we’ve created. “Let’s take a step back.” She reasons, “If we took the pressure off, if you were just going out and wearing whatever the hell you wanted, what would it be?”
I mentally race through the possibilities and an epiphany strikes. I smile at Jadea. “Give me ten minutes.”
I step out of my bedroom to show her after the promised ten minutes, give or take a few. I put my hands on my hips. “What do you think?”
I’m wearing an unbuttoned, oversized plain white baseball jersey that has painted flames running around the hem and sleeves. I created it in college. Underneath, I’m wearing a white body con dress. My shoes are red Converse high-tops decked out with the same flames as the jersey. For the finishing touch, a backwards red Stanford baseball hat and glitter stripes on my cheeks like the eye black players sometimes wear. My hair is loose and falling in waves, half of them stuffed in the cap and the others arranged loosely around my face.
Jadea looks me up and down, a slow grin spreading across her face. “Perfect. You look amazing.”
I’m grinning, too. “Let’s go.”
*
Fire Town is as hot and crowded as expected. We also attract just as much attention as I thought we would.
