Page 29 of A Shot at Love
“A D-List celebrity still has some power, Annie!” he chastises me, winking. Then he leans in conspiratorially and adds, “I also asked local superstar Jadea Jones to help me.”
This makes me smile, too, and I flip through the ballet program, excitedly reading the dancers’ bios and the numbers they’ll be performing. It’s all so amazing. I know ballet has its highs and lows, just like the WNBA, but the athleticism, the artistry, the power—it’s mesmerizing. My mom always loved it and used to dance when she was growing up. Despite my lack of coordination, I fell in love with it, too. The body control, the power, the precision. Whoever says dancers aren’t athletes clearly hasn’t seen them perform.
Daniel has been watching me. “You really do love it, huh? Why?” He doesn’t say it skeptically, like he thinks it’s boring or something, but with genuine curiosity like he wants to climb inside my mind.
“I always wanted to be a ballerina growing up,” I admit, surprising myself. I rarely dive into these childhood memories. “I saw the Nutcracker for the first time in fifth grade, and I became obsessed. I made my mom sign me up for classes at the rec center, and I watched theBarbie in the Nutcrackermovie about a hundred times.” Daniel cracks a smile, eyes focused on me. “Unfortunately, I told some ‘fellow’ dancers in my class that I wanted to be a ballerina, and they made it clear that I didn’t quite fit the mold.” I shrug. “I was crazytall at that point and not model thin. None of my clothes fit right, and Jadea hadn’t moved to town yet. I wasn’t confident enough to push back and say that I could do whatever I wanted.” The memories feel hazy, as if I’m recalling them through a fogged mirror. I do remember the strange, sharp turn in my self-esteem and how I refused to go to the dance class that my mom had so lovingly signed me up for. I remember crying in front of the girls who insulted me because I had even less control over the tears then than I do now. “Fortunately, Jadea moved in next door a few months later, and I found basketball. The love of my life. It all worked out.”
“People made fun of you for how you looked?” His expression is bewildered.
I try to remain casual, like it doesn’t still haunt me sometimes. “Yeah, a little. I mean, by the time I was in seventh grade, I was 5’10”, ginger, and straight up and down. Not exactly the body type most normal teenage girls are looking for. And my last name did not help. The boys used to say, ‘Could she get Annie Larger?’ Get it?”
Daniel winces but doesn’t say some platitude about how it made me stronger or how I’m in the WNBA, so who’s laughing now? Instead, he shakes his head. “Larger has so many great possibilities and that’s what they go with. They lacked imagination.”
I let out a shocked laugh. “And you don’t, sir?”
“Absolutely.” He nods seriously. “I’ll workshop a few and let you know.”
He’s making it light, which I appreciate, but he squeezes my hand, too. I look away, blinking back a few more tears. This all doesn’t quite feel real.
I snap a picture of the ballet’s program and add it to my story, so Jadea sees I’m taking this fake relationship seriously. After that, I’m done with the socials. I just want to watch the people on stage and try not to drool too much.
The lights dim, and the first scene unfurls. All the dancers are beams of light, power, and grace, everything I admire. I know they sacrifice for this life, and I feel that ache in my heart when I see how perfect they are at what they love.
Daniel doesn’t let go of my hand the whole first half, his thumb lightly tracing the back of my hand. I tell myself it’s because he’s so engrossed in the performance he forgot to let go. This is fake. Fake.
Fake.
But, as we sit there and take in the performance, it doesn’t feel that way. It feels like that memory Daniel had of us winning at Stanford. Lightning in a bottle.
Except, instead of feeling struck on the head, it’s a slower sensation. Creeping. Seeping in my bones. My heart. Slowly cracking that glass bubble in my chest.
I cannot let it shatter like before.
*
I force Daniel to change his outfit for the second half of our date in the theater bathroom. I’ve already changed, decked out in black leggings, my favorite running shoes, and a neon pink racer-back tank top.Daniel brought his own running shorts and shoes, but I’ve procured him the perfect shirt for tonight’s activities.
When he walks out of the bathroom, I snort with delight. The lemon-lime neon running top I found for him is perfect. The people who are milling after the ballet give us strange looks, but my heart is beating fast with excitement. Daniel told me I would love what he’d planned, and boy, did I. Now it’s time for me to level the playing field.
“Where are we going, Annie?” He surveys himself with genuine concern. “An athleisure rave?”
I suppress a smile, gesturing for us to walk out. “That’s actually not a bad idea.”
We walk to the garage to stash our fancy clothes. After putting our outfits in the back, Daniel heads to the driver’s seat. I tug his arm, pulling him away. “We’ll come back for the car. Our starting place is only a few blocks away.”
It’s well after 9 PM now, the ballet having been around two hours long, and the sun is just starting to dip behind the horizon. It’s perfect outside, crisp and draped in shadows. Our activity starts as soon as the sun fully sets, so we should be okay on time.
Daniel continues to guess our activity, mirroring my own act in the car. “Are we going cosmic bowling and you’re trying to convince people that bowlers are athletes with these outfits?”
That one startles a laugh out of me. I glance his way, smiling. “We used to go bowling all the time in college, remember? In the union?”
Daniel nods sagely. “For two broke college kids with a competitive streak, it was the perfect date.”
“You never let me win!” My mind flashes back to those early weeks when I was nervous to be alone with Daniel, and then he’d set me at ease by suggesting bowling. We’d compete and tease and laugh and it felt amazing.
“Let you win?” Daniel shakes his head. “You always won everything; I had to take the edge where I could!”
“Everything?” I snort. “Like what?”
