Page 8 of A Shot at Love
Now my cheeks are officially burning. “They were a better shape for his face, that’s all!” I struggle to overcome how flustered I sound. I, maybe, mentioned those glasses to Jadea, but only because he used to wear these tiny wire ones back in college. The old Daniel could hardly be bothered to go shopping, but the new, famous Daniel has unearthed a sense of style. “But that’s not the point! If you thought this would help me, you’re crazy!”
My voice rises at least three octaves. Jadea puts her hands on my shoulders, leaning towards me so we’re eye to eye. “Annie, I can’t follow your panicky thoughts. Try again, please.”
I should tell her. I should tell her that we went out and that we exchanged I-love-yous and that I went to his track meets and that he went to our games and that when Jadea visited me that spring he was out of town, and I couldn’t voice what had happened up until that point. When Jadea left Stanford, some of the sparkle of my life was sucked out. I didn’t have a lot outside of basketball, and Daniel was a happy accident. I hadn’t dated much before him, and our relationship felt weirdly sacred, like as soon as I told Jadea, I would burst the bubble of safety around our new love.
When I see the enthusiasm on her face, the love and faith she has in me, I know I won’t tell her. Daniel and my secrets are all in the past. I don’t need to hurt Jadea now; I need to get out of this twisted situation.
I take a few deep breaths and try to focus on the other issues involved, Daniel aside. “Jadea, I can barely do a two-minute post-game interview. I don’t like talking in front of people or being on camera. That’s why I’m alwaysyourcamerawoman.”
Jadea keeps her warm brown gaze on me. “You can do this, Annie. You’re smart, you’re accomplished, you’re beautiful. If you let people see you that way, it can only help your case. And they can see you hoop, where youtrulyshine. Who cares if you can hardly string two words together when you play like a ginger Sue Bird?”
I nod like a puppet. My voice is still squeaky. “Right, right. Except you also picked…” I flounder to describe him. “Daniel!” Jadea pulls back from our personal huddle, a laugh bursting from her. “This is not funny, Jadea! This is my worst nightmare!”
She blows me a kiss, heading across the court and towards the locker room. “You’re welcome, Annie! Who knows? Maybe Daniel will be a welcome distraction?”
“No, he won’t!” I shout at her like a crazy person. She waves over her shoulder as I try desperately not to think about Daniel’s extremely attractive face and his very nice new glasses and the fact that I’ll be seeing him for the first time in five years tomorrow.
Deep breaths.
5
I stand in front of the mirror the next morning, trying to get ready for practice. This process typically requires five minutes of face washing, ChapSticking, and French braiding. However, this morning all I can think about is Daniel sitting behind his fancy TV desk wearing his fancy TV suit. Will he be wearing a suit today? I was lucky if I saw Daniel out of his running shorts, track pants, and a reliable Stanford red zip-up back in the day. This new polished version of him with five million followers is intimidating.
I survey my freckled face critically. Should I do my hair differently? Put on some mascara and tinted lip balm? How much deodorant is too much deodorant? Despite my affection for vintage fashion, something I get from my mom, I usually wear sweats to practice. We change into practice clothes when we get there, so there’s no purpose in wasting good outfits on practice. But what about today? Will they film us as we enter the garage? Will the cameras be on us the entire time? Not only will Daniel be watching me, analyzing how I’ve changed, but there will also be film crews, directors, and interviews—an endless nightmare for an introvert with a low social threshold.
Paralyzed with indecision, I shoot Jadea a text to come over before she leaves. We used to carpool topractice anyway, but her tardiness gave me anxiety, so I drive on my own now. Today is different; Ineedbackup. I’m about to put my phone down when I see a slew of notifications, including a few texts from my mom, which I guiltily ignore. The idea of having a conversation about all her lies makes my stomach churn. We’ve never gotten into a fight that lasted over 24 minutes, let alone 24 hours.
There are also three missed calls from a number I don’t recognize. They left a voicemail. I press play to listen to it and immediately drop the phone when I hear, “I didn’t know how to do this, Annie…but it’s me, Jack. I felt like I should reach out so we can…talk. Call me back at this number.”
I’m still staring at the phone when Jadea knocks. I go to let her in with numb fingers. “I knew you’d be freaking out!” She’s still brimming with the victory of booking Daniel’s show. “What fabulous outfit are you going to randomly show up in today? Your vintage leather jacket? That burgundy corset that snatches your waist? Your velvet green boots?” Jadea is about to continue crowing about my absurdist fashion finds but stops when she sees my face. “What’s wrong? Did you hear more news?”
“He called. Jack,” I say finally, rubbing my arms to dispel the goosebumps. “He called a couple of times and left me a voicemail.”
Jadea looks as shocked as I feel. “I thought your mom insisted he stay out of your life. That was the agreement.”
I sigh at my reflection before swiping my keys off the kitchen counter. A Scarlet Arrows sweat suit, it is. It seems almost worse to dress up for Daniel and try to impress him. “I figure that agreement is now void. Even ESPN knows about our relationship.”
We leave the apartment together, heading down the stairwell. “I wonder how it’s going with his wife,” Jadea muses, hoisting her practice bag higher up her shoulder. “I assume she never knew about you. That would be a tough thing to hear on SportsCenter.”
We spill out into the lower level of the parking garage, making a beeline towards my sensible red Prius. The lights in the garage flicker ominously, matching my mood. “He has a son, too,” I remember aloud, swallowing nervously. “My b-brother. Trenton or something? He’s in his forties.”
“Oh, yeah,” Jadea says, getting into the passenger seat. She won’t be late today. “We met them both at some charity event, right? The son was blonde, blue-eyed, wearing an expensive watch. Exactly what you’d expect.”
Blue-eyed. Just like me?
I pull out of the garage, feeling a light sweat break out on my brow. Between Daniel coming back into my life with a full-on camera crew, and my new twisted family life, my body is freaking out. “Oh my God!” Jadea suddenly shouts. I nearly hit my head on the roof in surprise.
“Shit, Jadea! You scared me!”
Jadea ignores me, tapping a perfectly manicured finger to her lip. “Do you think you’ll be a part of Jack’s will? Are you going to inherit any of his fortune?”
Now I’m full-on sweating. My voice gets squeaky. “What? No! I’m not his daughter.”
Once Jadea sees my reaction, she tries to calm herself down. We’ve always been good at the give-and-take. Jadea is usually fast, loud, and sure of herself, whereas I’m more measured, slow, and precise. The only time Jadea takes on that role is when she thinks I need it. Another alarming sign. “Annie.” She speaks softly. I try to focus on my breathing and not swerving off the road. “He is and he isn’t. When he calls, you don’t have to answer. When he tries to be a father after twenty-five years, you don’t have to let him. But he isn’t going anywhere. These questions aren’t going anywhere. We both know that.” I can only gape at her, pulling into our practice facility’s garage.
Our practice court is adjacent to Arch Arena, so our commute is only a few minutes. We’re lucky to be coupled with an NBA team because we get to use their facilities. I know some of the WNBA teams don’t have that luxury and practice in smaller, inconvenient practice facilities, like local YMCAs. Of course, it also means that people don’t see value in us, but in our NBA counterpart.I’m jealous of teams like the Las Vegas Aces, who built a multi-million-dollar practice facility just forthem. Not a single men’s team in sight.
Once we’re safely in my parking spot, I press my forehead against the steering wheel, absorbing Jadea’swords dejectedly. “Was it too much to hope that things could just stay the same?”
