Page 82 of Freedom Fighters
Garrett caught her hand. “No, stay a minute,” he told her.
Carmen glanced at his hand, then at the soldiers standing nearby. She looked up at Garrett questioningly.
“There isn’t going to be a better time,” Garrett said, which told her hehad understood her concern about eavesdroppers. Then he switched to English. “We’re always going to be surrounded bysomeone,” he added. “After this storm is over and after we get off this island and onto the main one, we’ll be living cheek by jowl with the rest of the unit. That’s situation normal. After the war…” He blew out his breath. “I don’t want to wait until after the war, Carmen. Warschange things. They change lives. I’ve seen too much of it and I know that if I don’t speak now, we could regret it.”
Carmen turned back to face him, her heart racing.
He held her hand between his and the pressure of his fingers on hers was hard. He wasn’t as calm as he appeared. Only, he was so good at keeping the neutral mask in place that nothing showed.
His gaze roamed over her face.
The hard lump in her chest hurt. “Just say it,” she told him. “Put me out of my misery.”
His eyes widened. “What do you think this is?” he asked.
“I don’t know!” she snapped back. “You’re bored, maybe. That all this is too complicated for you. That you’re going to live up to your unavailable status and kick me to the curb. Idon’t know. You’re scaring the shit out of me.”
The corner of his mouthlifted. “It’s good to know I can scare you that way, Escobedo.”
“Sadist.”
“No, just all too human.” He touched her cheek. “Telling me you loved me…it caught me by surprise.”
Carmen dropped her gaze. “I’ve never told anyone that before.”
“I guessed,” he said softly. “You don’t talk about your life much, but there’s a reason you’re still single despite being the most eligible woman in Vistaria.I think I’ve figured out most of that reason. I don’t think growing up being the most watched daughter in the nation helped much. Harvard must have been a relief. You would have been anonymous there.”
“Not so much,” Carmen said dryly. “They have the Internet in Boston, too.”
Garrett’s mouth quirked up in another lopsided smile. “You got to be yourself,reallyyourself—temper, smart mouth andall—when you walked into my camp.That’sthe Carmen I love, not the one on the Internet.”
She caught her breath. Even her pulse seemed to pause. She stared at him, willing him to repeat what he had just said. She wasn’t sure she hadn’t imagined it.
“Yes, I mean it,” Garrett said softly. “I’ve been doing a lot of thinking while the wind was too loud to hear anyone speak. It left me alone withmy thoughts andmademe think. So I’ve been thinking, possibly for the first time in ten years.” He raised her hand up, making her look at it and the grip his fingers had on her. “I don’t know where we’ll end up, Carmen, but wherever that is, I want you with me.”
“Live the life of a guerilla?” she asked. “Find a war and sign up?”
He shook his head. “I don’t know. Fighting wars, no matter howunfair they are, has lost its appeal for me. If it ever had any appeal. I can’t remember why I started doctoring in war zones. I’m sure one day I’ll figure it out, but only when there’s some distance between us and this one.”
“There are plenty of patients out there who aren’t war casualties,” Carmen told him. “Some of them are the neediest people on the planet.” She took a breath. “There’ll bethousands of them here in Vistaria once this war is over.”
Garrett nodded. “I like your thinking,” he said. “Only, I don’t want to lock us into any decisions. Nothing, for now. Not until the war is over and we know what it looks like on the other side. Can you live with that, Carmen?”
“Live with you, you mean? A day at a time?”
“Yes…I guess that’s what I’m asking. No commitments for now, exceptto stay with me.”
His proposal was the epitome of non-commitment, except that he was tying her to him in a formal way that would cement…whatever this was. She sighed. “I guess I’m expecting too much from an unavailable guy.”
Garrett’s eyes narrowed. “You would run straight back into that storm if I wasn’t,” he said. “If I dropped to my knees right now and asked you to marry me as soon as wefound a chaplain, you’d bolt.”
Her heart did lurch. Just a little. She licked her lips, which were dry. “Are you asking?” she whispered.
He shook his head. “I’d rather have you in my life, than destroying it.”
Relief touched her. Garrett knew her, better than anyone in the world. “We’re the same, aren’t we?”
“Unavailable, arrogant, stubborn and scared spitless of falling in love. I guess wescrewed up the last bit.”
