Page 19 of Casualties of War
“Good for you.”
“Only now I want to crush skulls in. It has been a crappy day.More than usual.”
“Ditto,” Adán admitted.
She worked her hands, almost wringing them. “If I buy the pizza, would you be willing to listen?”
He hesitated.
“I’m putting you on the spot…” she said, backing away.
“No, it’s not that. There’s a party I’m supposed to show up for and it’s the last thing I want to…” He made himself halt. “You know what? Screw the party. That is…will your husband mindif you’re having dinner with another man?”
She smiled. “He’s on the late shift. He trusts me. I trust him. And it’s just dinner.”
“I’ll get my sunglasses.”
The quiet dinner at a table in the corner with his back to the world wasn’t just a chance for Parris to vent. It ended up being exactly what Adán needed, too. Parris gave seething descriptions of ignorant cops who thought she was good fornothing but getting coffee and arrogant perps who figured she was a walk-over. In between, Adán spoke more freely about the irritations of being a ‘name’ and not feeling like one and being caught in a typecasting rut.
“It sometimes feels as though the world is having hysterics around me,” Adán said. “I could fall into it so easily and get sucked into believing the press about me but that’s anotherdanger, too.”
“A big, fat head,” she replied, nodding, as she reached for another slice of the pizza. “Una cabeza grande y gorda,” she added slowly.
Adán grimaced.
“Still bad?” she said.
“It wasn’t the complete disaster your first try was,” he admitted. “Have you been studying?”
“CDs,” she admitted. “There’s a Puerto Rican on staff and I try talking to him when he’s not too grumpy.”
“Whydo you want to learn Spanish?”
“Because it’s L.A.’s second language,” she said. “Because I don’t like people talking in front of me and not knowing what they’re saying. Because having a second language,especiallySpanish, looks good on the resume.”
Her drive to serve. It made him feel self-centered and humble. Compared to how everyone else tried to pump up his ego and woo him, while gropingfor a piece of him, humility was a novel sensation.
Was that how it happened?
Gradually, the odd dinner or shared coffee or movie night in front of his second new TV became weekly affairs. Sometimes more than weekly. They would vent their grievances, doing it more and more in Spanish.
There were running jokes about her ability and determination to take care of herself, thank you very much,and his Vistarian need to do it for her. Jokes about the length women fans would go to attach themselves to him. Jokes about the hyper-exclusive atmosphere of A-List Hollywood. Jokes about cops being the last bastions of male chauvinism.
Jokes about her shitty Spanish, which he was straightening out into smoother Spanish every week.
They were friends right down to the core and they helped eachother stay sane in their respective careers. The mutual help let them keep meeting. Without it, neither of them would have been comfortable.
When did the two-way-benefit turn into simply an excuse? He didn’t know. He couldn’t tell. It had happened while he was busy making movie after movie and Parris battled with Internal Affairs and Human Resources for promotions and pay raises that were herdue. It happened while they both concentrated over physical fitness and strength—Adán for his active roles and Parris for her work. They would trade routines and diet tips, both obsessed with muscle gain. That was another source of jokes—the way men would gain muscle just looking at a weight, while Parris had to fight for every ounce.
The relationship shifted while neither of them were lookingand they should have been. They should never have relaxed their guard.
By the time the thing happened on the boat, it was way too late.
* * * * *
Adán recalled the boat and what had happened there. He realized he was pressing his fingertip against the pendant, under his shirt.
Parris hadn’t lived in L.A. since that day. She had better things to do.
So did he, now.
Adán stirred and pickedup the phone again. Ariella was on speed dial. As usual, he got her voicemail which he had been counting on. He couldn’t say it to her directly.
When the greeting message finished, he said, “I’ve been thinking, Ariella. I’m sorry, but I can’t take the role. I’ll be out of the country for a few weeks, maybe. I don’t know how long. Tell Ridley Scott thanks, but there’s something more importantI have to do.”
He made himself shut up and disconnect. He went out to the pool to swim and wait for the headache and the shivering to pass.
