Page 29 of Mongrels United
He glanced at her, his eyes narrowing.
“I hope it isn’t Bellish, too,” she admitted, which was the truth, but also covered her odd reaction—something else that she would have to think about later. “You’ve no idea how bad this stuff is, Nash. It’s not just that it kills people. It’s that it’s sounforgivingabout how it goes about killing them. One dose and you’re hooked. Then months and years of increasing agony while your brains are eaten away.”
Hyson halted, so abruptly, that she was three steps beyond and had to turn back to face him.
His face worked. He was holding in some emotion, something that made the tendons in his thick neck stand out. His jaw shifted.
“What?” she demanded, alarm touching her. Should she have asked a Guard to accompany them?
“You don’t have to tell me what Bellish does.” His voice was harsh. Thick with emotions.
Grady cast about for something to say. “I thought you were busy, the years before the Raid?”
Abruptly he nodded. “Yes, I was. But even if I wasn’t, I likely wouldn’t have noticed what was happening on the rest of the ship. I was…self-absorbed.”
“And you’re not, anymore?”
He smiled, and she had the sensation that the smile was intended to dazzle her, so she wouldn’t notice that he’d been distressed, just for a moment. “If you ask Lieutenant Westcott, she will tell you I’m worse than ever, in that regard.”
He began to walk, once more.
Grady caught up with him. She really did have to stay with him. If his wrist chip moved beyond a few meters of anyone with Bridge access, silent alarms would bring Guards running from all directions.
They were within twenty meters of the wide opening to the gate and the Collinas avenue beyond when he stopped once more and turned to her. His gaze was steady. Assessing.
“We should keep moving,” she said.
“In a minute.” He paused. “There’s something you should know.”
She gave a small laugh. “Your whole life is a collection of secrets, Hyson. I think I’d prefer they stay that way. It’s dark, your world.”
Something flashed across his face. Annoyance? Surprise? It was gone before she could identify it. “Stop being the Chief for a moment.”
Her belly did a little roll. Her heart squeezed. But she shook her head. “I can’t. Not here on the bridge itself. And we’ve already agreed that anywhere else isn’t going to happen.”
His gaze was direct and steady. “I’ve changed my mind about that.”
Her breath escaped her.
“You called me Nash, a moment ago,” he added. “I think that, in your mind, I’m already Nash, and that just slipped out.”
She had to claw for calmness and control.Hadshe called him Nash? She couldn’t pull her thoughts together enough to recall the last few moments.
He was standing too close to her again. That was why she couldn’t think. “Pressuring me physically won’t work, Hyson.” Her voice came out calm and even, but it cost her to keep it so cool. Her heart was running away on her.
“I’m not touching you.” His gaze drilled into her. He was close enough she had to lift her chin to look at him. Close enough for her to realize she was staring into his eyes.
“You know what I mean,” she breathed.
“You want me to.”
She swallowed. “No.”
“Not your mind. But your body thinks this is a very good idea.”
Her breath shallowed out. Came quicker. Miasma clouded her reasoning. Made it hard to think of anything but what it would be like to be in a private room alone with him, with the door locked. To be free to touch him and explore….
“It doesn’t matter what I think or feel,” she made herself say. “Not even if every part of me thought that spending time with you was a good idea, would it become the truth. Who you are, all your secrets, makes you the last person I can afford to play around with.”
