Page 12 of Nice Guys Don't Kiss Like That At Christmas
And I am.Mostly.Six years in remission should mean I’ve got my shit together.My scans are clear, but my life?Still playing catch-up.
His eyes hold mine.No blinking.No breathing.Then the stern expression I don’t know comes back.
“Welcome to Pine Creek, Eve.”
“Hmmm.Okay.Great.”I swear I know more words.“I’m going to call my insurance,” I announce with all the false confidence of a rom-com heroine about to have her life implode.Professional.Adult.
I tuck Dickle back into the emergency tote behind the passenger seat.Yes, the same tote that cannot contain its secrets, and try to act like this is a normal human moment.
I grab my phone (totally in control, totally not freaking out), but what greets me is a message from that stupid dating app again:
Second Chance Dating App
Ho Ho Ho, Nurse Eve!Mind taking a look at my North Pole???????
Why the eggplant emoji?Why the pickle?Why both?Why is my life like this?
LoverBoy seizes his moment for prison break, Dorothy yaps excitedly like she’s cheering him on, and Blanche headbutts my seat.The impact jolts me and my phone slips.
“I got it!”I lunge for it.
Except I absolutely do not“got”it.Adam does and glances at the screen.
Oh, no.My stomach twists into a pretzel of dread.Because what comes next is predictable.A sneer.A mean comment disguised as a compliment.Something to make my ribs shrink.
But Adam stares at that festive dick without a smirk.
“So,” he finally says, head tilting slightly.“You dating Santa now?Big North Pole Energy...or?”
Not mean.Not cruel.Not Chuck.Just dry.Teasing.Almost...playful.
A laugh snorts out of me like a startled pig, and my dogs bark happily like they haven’t heard that sound in forever.It feels good.Too good.Like finding something you thought was lost.
Then my phone beeps again.In his hand.
Adam’s expression darkens and the temperature between us drops ten degrees.Seven years of silence, and it took exactly eighty-seven seconds for everything to go wrong again.
I swallow hard.Some stories don’t deserve second chances.
And we’re one of them.
Chapter six
ADAM
LoverBoy’sspinninginthecarrier, unharmed, and Eve is right here.Real, not some sleepless hallucination.Just my own personal brand of emotional damage.
The candy-cane dick pic would’ve been festive if it weren’t followed by,“Nurse Bitch, why aren’t you replying?”
“What did you see?”she murmurs.Her laughter is gone.In its place?Wariness.Like she’s bracing for me to say something that will crush her confidence.“It’s a dick, isn’t it?”
I nod and she groans.
“Unsolicited?”The word comes out darker than I mean it to.
“Yes.It rains dicks.Some in need of a doctor or a shower.”
Now I want to hunt down every asshole who thinksEveNoName123needs to see their sad attempt at holiday spirit.“Your call.”I use the same tone I use when owners need to trust me with their pets.“But I could make him squirm.”
