Page 121 of Book and Ladder
Dear BTTP,
I don’t hate you. Like I said, I don’t do well with being stood up. It’s okay if you still write to me.
“Should I tell him I miss him?” I ask her.
“Do you?”
“Yes. I really do.”
“You like him.”
“A lot.”
“No. Don’t tell him you miss him. Let him work for it. He made some big promises. You’re opening the door a crack. He still has to storm the gates.”
“You’re right,” I agree. “I’m too quick to forgive.”
She all but rolls her eyes. “In most situations you are. I’ll give you that.”
“In situations where someone doesn’t destroy my future because of misplaced loyalty,” I clarify, feeling worse than usual about my standards when it comes to Patrick.
Ever since his explanation, I can’t seem to muster up the same animosity and fierce determination where he’s concerned.
I most definitely do not tell Winona about how Patrick showed up here while I was wrapped in a towel and proceeded to fix my water heater in one of the most domesticand thoughtful moments I’ve experienced with a man in … ever.
I turn my attention back to the email. My fingers hover above the keys. It’s ridiculous how much my heart is pounding over a stranger with a microphone. Only, he’s not really a stranger anymore. I’m not quite sure what he is.
My friend is sitting next to me, telling me to make you earn my trust. I think she’s right. I won’t block you. I’m giving you a chance.
You may write the next chapter. I’ll read what you write.
P.S. You’re really good at groveling. Top-notch skills.
- M&M
“That’s really adorable,” Winona says when I read it to her.
“Yeah?”
“I didn’t realize how much you liked him.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, you’re blushing like a schoolgirl. You wanted to tell him you miss him. You’re flirty. I don’t know if I’ve ever seen you flirt—with the exception of that hate dance you do with Patrick.”
“That is absolutely not flirting. It’s the opposite. It’s unflirting. Deflirting. Nonflirtation.”
“Mm hmm. I’m totally convinced.”
“Whose side are you on?”
“What do you mean?”
“The podcast host or Patrick?”
“Is Patrick an option?”
“Nope.”
