Page 81 of Girl, We Go Together
As I walked down the short hallway to my room, I could still hear the low hum ofLaw & Orderplaying and the faint clink of his glass being set down. Tonight, I didn’t feel like the woman who’d been left behind or betrayed. I felt like a woman who still had something to offer. And as I closed my bedroom door behind me, a slow smile crept across my face. I stood in front of my long dresser, staring at the drawer I hadn’t opened since before Oriana was born. The one where I’d tucked away all the things that made me feel good once. My sexy drawer had lace, silk, and soft colors that used to remind me I was more than just somebody’s mother.
The buzz from the wine had me feeling unlike myself. Matter fact, fuck that, it had me feeling like the old me. My heartbeat was steady but heavy, and my palms were sweating like I was back in college, about to walk across the stage. I took a breath and opened the drawer. That’s when a memory hit me. Orion ruined moments like this. I remembered that night so clearly.
It was the one time I had worked up the nerve to do something special for him. I’d bought this black lace lingerie online. The pussy part was cut out, and it had knee-high lace stockings with buckles attached. It came with a long, black robe that fell just off my shoulders. I’d spent the whole afternoon getting ready. My hair was in tight curls, and I did a light beat of makeup on my face. When he walked in, I’d been standing by the bed, trying my best to look confident.
He looked at me… and laughed. Not the kind of laugh that came from surprise or joy, but the kind that cut straight through my confidence. And at the end of his laughter, he just had to say something slick.
“Girl, where are you going dressed like that? You look like Sheila from Why Did I Get Married?”
Then he continued to laugh while he looked at me before walking off and leaving the room. That laugh had stayed with me. It lived in my head rent-free, and whenever I had little moments of feeling beautiful again, it ran on repeat.
I blinked the memory away, swallowing the lump in my throat. But Kassidy wasn’t Orion. I knew that. Everything about him was different. It was the way he looked at me, the way he spoke to me, and even the way he made space for me without asking me to shrink first. In this short time of us reconnecting, he was feeding my spirit, and I fucking needed it. Still, part of me wasterrified. I looked down at myself and got lost in my image. What looked back at me was the soft rolls, the stretch marks, and the pieces of me that told stories I’d once been ashamed to tell. Yet, when I closed my eyes, I could still hear Kassidy’s voice from earlier, low and sure.“You always think I’m playing, but I know how to make you smile.”
That man hadn’t laughed once at me. He only laughed with me. I huffed out shakily because this would take whatever we had started to the next level. To the next heights. My walking out of this room would be crossing a line that I was so scared to cross. And only because I was terrified of getting hurt again. I looked in the mirror that was attached to my long dresser and gave myself a tiny pep talk.You deserve this man, bitch. You deserve this moment.With those two sentences, I had given myself all the confidence I needed to proceed. So, I pulled out the deep burgundy lace one-piece lingerie that I’d never worn before.
It was simple, but it hugged me in all the right places. I ran my fingers over the fabric, took another breath, and reminded myself that I deserved to feel good again. By the time I looked into the full-body mirror in my room, my hands were still trembling, but the woman looking back at me didn’t look broken anymore. She looked ready to stop hiding. I adjusted the strap on my shoulder, gave my reflection a small, brave smile, and whispered to myself.
“He’s not Orion.”
And with that, I turned toward the door. I was ready to walk back out there and let someone’s son treat me right. When I opened the bedroom door, my heart was pounding so hard I could feel it in my ears.
The television was still playing, and the soft light from the screen flickered across the room. Kassidy was leaning back on the couch with one arm draped over the back and the glass ofwine in his other hand. He looked up when he heard the door. And for a second, he didn’t move. I shifted my weight to one leg nervously as I waited for the laughter to erupt. His eyes landed on me. I could tell he was taking his time getting the image. His eyes darted from one part of my body to the other. They saw every curve and every inch of skin I’d always tried to hide. My throat went dry. I almost turned around and ran back to the safety of my bedroom, but then he put his glass down and stood up.
“Cayla.” He said my name like it was something sacred.
I could feel my face heat up.
“I—I wasn’t sure if this was too much,” I admitted while fidgeting with the strap of the lace top.
He shook his head slowly while stepping closer.
“Nah. It’s just enough.”
There was no judgment in his eyes, no laughter, and no trace of pity. He bit his bottom lip and then let a smile come across his face before speaking.
“You look beautiful.”
I laughed softly as my nerves slipped through the words.
“You sure that wine didn’t get to you?”
He smiled, closing the distance between us until we were just a breath apart.
“The wine didn’t do that. You did.”
Something in me loosened right then. I didn’t need to be anyone else around him. I didn’t need to suck my stomach in or hide my thighs or pretend to be smaller. Kassidy saw me exactly as I was. And for the first time since I had put on all this weight, that felt like enough. I touched his shoulder, and then I traveled down his arm and stopped once my hand filled the inside of his palm. He squeezed my hand, and it wasn’t a tight hold either. It was firm and just enough to sayyou’re safe here. As I looked into his brown eyes, I fucking believed it.
Chapter 28
Kass
When she reached for my hand, it caught me off guard, not because I didn’t expect it, but because of the way she did it. She moved carefully, like she was testing if I’d pull away. I didn’t. Her palm was warm against mine, her fingers curled around my wrist like she was holding onto something she didn’t want to lose.
While still holding my hand, without saying a word, she turned toward the hallway that led to her bedroom. I followed. Each step felt heavier than it should’ve, and not from nerves either, but from knowing this moment meant something. I could feel it in how quiet she’d gone and how every few seconds she’d glance back to make sure I was still there. It had been a minute since I took something down, and my dick was ready to explode, just off this intimate, sexy ass moment.
When we stepped into her room, her scent was everywhere. She turned to face me. “Kassidy…”
“Yeah?”
