Page 41 of Girl, We Go Together
This little nigga was just like his damn father. Insensitive and a piece of shit. I slapped my hand over my mouth before a scream ripped out of me.
“Just a fucking dog!”
“Cayla,” Orion’s voice boomed from across the room. It was laced with warning. He moved quickly, planting himself between me and his son.
“Don’t talk to him like that. He’s a kid. He doesn’t know any better.”
I shot to my feet, tears streaming all over again.
“No, Orion! He knew exactly what he was doing! I saw it on the cameras. You saw it on the cameras. You don’t get to sit here and act like he’s innocent when he let Mello out on purpose!”
Orion’s jaw tightened with his eyes narrowing at me. “You're accusing my son of being some kind of monster? He’s just a little boy.”
I jabbed a finger toward OJ, who was now sulking behind his father like a shadow.
“That little boy just killed something I loved! And you wanna brush it off like it’s nothing? Like I’m overreacting!”
He didn’t even offer me a response. He turned to his bitch of a son and wiped his eyes before telling him to go upstairs. He just stared at me for a bit before grabbing his keys off the table in the foyer and then leaving the house. The loud thud caused one of the frames on the wall to hit the floor. When I was by myself, only then did I let myself fall apart. The only sound was my sobs echoing against the walls. I realized it wasn’t just Mello I had lost. It was the trust. The balance. The love I had for this man and even for his son. The piece of my heart that Orion and I had built together was gone, and I wasn’t sure if it was ever coming back.
Orion
It had been months, and I tried my best to get Cayla out of the funk of losing Mello. I spoke to Omari about it, and he said I was dead wrong. Ever since Ma died, it’s like there was a disconnect with me and mad shit emotionally. I tried making it up to her by offering to get her another dog, but she declined. I even had her comfortable driving behind the wheel again. Those small things, I thought that she would appreciate considering what had happened, but she didn’t. Not to mention, whenever OJ came around, she kept her distance. And I mean, really kept her distance. If he came into a room she was in, she walked out. When he spoke to her, she didn’t even respond, or if she did open her mouth to him, it was to tell him to come to me. That pissed me off because he was just a kid, and what he did was an accident. You couldn’t tell her that, though. She thought my son deliberately let her dog out to purposely hurt her.
As the months went by and her belly grew, so did the pounds she put on, and between her body and her attitude, I was starting to get disgusted by her. Talking to T’asia at the club was easier than discussing shit with her. Hell, even Shenell and I had gotten on good talking terms over the months. Our coparenting was top-notch, and she even became a listening ear when I wanted to vent.
I was trying with Cayla, and I mean really trying. The additional spare bedroom in the house went to our daughter, Oriana. It was decorated in shades of pink that were so fitting for a princess. We were just waiting for her arrival. I even tried to make decorating her room a family thing, but once OJ came inthe room with his paintbrush, she snapped and yelled for him to go finish playing in his room, which caused me to defend his ass.
I get being mad, but yelling at my kid was out. I let the whole block hear my anger when I stepped in front of him to scold her ass. It had been quiet around this muthafucka since then. When OJ’s birthday came around, she didn’t say shit, so when it was time for her, I didn’t say shit either. My old ways were on the horizon, and in that moment, I could have slapped the taste out of her fucking mouth.
Lately, she had been picking at my growth. I was still a work in progress, and I was proud that I was able to keep my hands to myself. We walked past each other and didn’t speak sometimes, and honestly, I liked it that way. She would go out and have dinner with Zy from time to time, leaving me alone in the house. We stopped going out together. I was doing my thing while she was doing hers. A dog dying caused us to fall off track this much, but honestly, I wasn’t trying to fix things.
On this night in particular, we had gotten into it before she even walked out the door to have dinner with Zy. Just thinking about how she was telling me that my son was evil-spirited like me had me ready to choke the fuck out of her. How could she ever speak about a child like that? She thought we were evil-spirited, and I was gonna show her exactly how evil a nigga could get. She had no idea the kind of demon that lay dormant in me, but her ass was about to find out.
Chapter 15
Cayla
Dinner with Zynea was always a good distraction from life. Vicariously, I lived through her. She told me about all her adventures of traveling for work, and I smiled as she shared. When it was my turn to give her my life update, I sat across from her, crying my damn eyes out. Although I tried not to, these damn pregnancy hormones had me all over the place. She reached over the table and held hands with me with a sympathetic glare.
“I just hate that I’m pregnant with his baby,” I admitted out loud for the first time.
Orion was the definition of a man who turned from day to night. He made Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde look like a cake walk. Things I used to admire and love about him when we first started dating had vanished. My biggest regret was not leaving his ass alone the first time he acted funny. Maybe, just maybe, I wouldn’t be in this situation.
“Cay, it’s okay.”
It actually wasn’t. I was bringing a baby into this toxic space that he and I had been living in for the past five months. I used the back of my hand to wipe my eyes. I didn’t even get into how I suspected he was cheating. Finding that shit out had made memeaner. I was already holding a grudge over Mello, but to know that he was possibly stepping out on me while I was pregnant made me hate him more.
I had gone through his phone one night and saw a thread of deleted text messages between him and one of his bartenders. Recently, he had added food to Obsessions, and I would go down there for their wings. This one skinny, dark skinned bitch would side-eye me whenever I walked through the door. Although I never brought it to his attention, I walked with that weight on me publicly. Every chance I got, I spoke my mind and told him about himself. Sometimes, I even got verbally disrespectful because I knew deep down that he was disrespecting me.
Once I got my tears under control, I listened to the pep talk from Zy. Of course, it was filled with affirmations of me being the shit. Zynea spoke words of positivity, letting me know that, despite all Orion’s bullshit, I was going to be a great mom. After she poured into my confidence cup, there was a slight moment of silence. Zynea leaned back in her chair, swirling the last of her drink.
“Cayla,” she said, her tone careful, “you’re sure you don’t want a baby shower? You’re carrying life, girl. It’s something that should be celebrated.”
I pressed my napkin into my lap, smiling a little but shaking my head.
“I’m sure, Zy. I’m not even in the mood for the shit. I just… want peace, you know? I don’t have much longer, anyway.” I rubbed my stomach at the end of my statement.
She sighed, clearly not satisfied, but she didn’t push me. Instead, she reached across the table to hold my hand.
