Page 65 of This Heart
“I’m not in love with him, if that’s what you think. I care about him a lot and yes, my feelings go deeper than friendship. Well, I did care about him. Now all I want to do is forget he ever existed.”
She dropped my hand. “Ouch. What happened?”
I slowly shook my head. “It’s such a long story, Mom, and I don’t have the energy to tell it. My thoughts are all jumbled in my head right now. That witch of a nanny he hired told me something that I believed at first, but after thinking about it, I think she might have lied to me. But she knew something that she couldn’t have known unless Liam told her. Something very hurtful that he said to me months ago.”
“When you stopped speaking to him?”
I nodded.
“Tell me what happened that drove you and Liam apart.”
I gave up, realizing I needed to tell my mom. She was my biggest cheerleader, and she may have insight that I hadn’t thought about. So I proceeded to tell my mother about the day in March, right after Hope died and what Liam had said to me. I told her how we hadn’t talked for months and had recently called a truce. He apologized, and we moved on as friends.
“Then, Kim, the old girlfriend who was hired to be the nanny, enters the scene.”
My mother’s brows lifted. “That spells trouble.”
I nodded. I told her all about my encounters with Kim, including how she kept me from seeing Winnie, movie night, and how Kim had told me that Liam had told her what Hope said about me. And then I told her how Kim said they reconnected again and were a couple, which I did not believe for one second.
“Mom, I’m not trying to replace Hope. I care deeply for Winnie. How could I not? I’ve been helping out with her since she was one. Hope and I became good friends, and I thought Liam and I were friends as well. I did not have feelings for Liam when Hope was alive. I swear to you, I didn’t.”
Taking both of my hands in hers, she gave me a smile that instantly calmed my racing heart. “You don’t have to defend your feelings, Aurora. I believe you, but even if you had, you would never have acted on them.”
“Never! And I wouldn’t now.”
Her brows drew down in confusion. “What do you mean?”
I closed my eyes and sucked in a breath before letting it out. “I can’t deny that my feelings for Liam have changed, and I’ve been trying to deny it. I love Winnie with all my heart. But what I feel for Liam is something different. Something I’ve never experienced before with a man, and it’s confusing the hell out of me.”
“Love for a child and a man are two different things, Aurora. You’ve been in love before, I’m sure you would recognize it.”
I let out a humorless laugh. “Yes, and look what that brought me.”
“Not all men are going to cheat. Not all men are bad. Look at your father! Your brother.”
With a nod, I said, “I know that. And I care for Liam, but Mom, he lost his wife, the love of his life. I don’t want to compete with someone who isn’t here any longer. I can’t compete with a ghost. That may sound cruel, but I want…I want…I want a love like you and Dad have.”
“Are you saying that you believe Liam wouldn’t have room in his heart to love another person?”
“No, but…” I groaned. “It doesn’t even matter. He doesn’t feel that way about me. At least, I don’t think he does. I have to believe that he told Kim because how else on Earth would she have known? And if he did, then that tells me he doesn’t share the same feelings for me, and I don’t blame him. His wife passed away earlier this year. I can’t expect him to just move on and fall for me.”
“I don’t see it that way.”
“He told Kim what Hope said about me. Even Kim thought it.”
“Do you think that is what you’re doing?”
I felt my eyes widen in horror. “No! I am in no way trying to replace Hope. I didn’t even realize I was starting to have feelings for him until the girls pointed it out, Mom. Well, maybe that’s a lie. I did, but I was trying to brush those feelings aside. And now that I do and know he still thinks I’m trying to replace Hope, I need to stay away.”
“From Liam? Or from Liam and Winnie.”
Shrugging, I answered, “Both.”
“Let me ask you this,” she said as she let go of my hands. “Have you spoken to him about it all?”
“He tried to talk to me yesterday, but I couldn’t. I was embarrassed that he would tell Kim those things, and maybe a little scared of these new emotions.” I dropped my head and groaned. “I know, I’m running away, and you’re right, I came here to hide.”
“Darling, you’re always welcome here and always encouraged to talk to us about what is going on in your life. But I’m going to be completely honest with you. Ready?”
