Page 65 of Meant to Be
Chapter Twelve
Sydney lookedthrough the side window as Mitch’s truck pulled into the drive. She’d been watching for him ever since he’d called to let her know he’d made it back to town and was turning in the police vehicle and picking up his truck.
Nerves skidded through her body at what might happen. She wanted to believe he was going to take her up on her offer, but she couldn’t be sure. When they’d been in college, he’d been so easy to read. Now she had no idea what he was thinking.
She’d been able to tell she’d surprised him by suggesting they could have an affair. Honestly, it surprised her as well. She’d never engaged in sex as something just for fun. The idea sent a titillating shiver through her body. She’d changed a great deal since she’d last seen Mitch. Having a torrid sexual affair seemed like it should be par for her new course.
The only problem would be to keep those sneaking emotions out of it. Those feeling were for the old Mitch. This new Mitch still heated her blood, but he wasn’t the same person. If they’d only just met, would she be interested in him? He was aloof and sometimes rude. But, if she looked hard enough in his emerald eyes, the old Mitch was there. Under the layers of hurt and guilt, the kind, generous, funny man was there. Maybe she could bring him out again.
“No, Sydney.” She shouldn’t get into this relationship, especially one based only on sex, with the hope of changing him. No, she needed to accept Mitch where he was. Be okay with the sex-only rules.
She heard voices out front and a quick look showed Mitch talking with George, who’d followed her home, checked Mitch’s house in and out for anyone lurking about, and told her he’d wait outside until Mitch returned. She offered to let him wait inside, but he’d declined.
George drove off and Mitch trotted up the steps to the door. Sydney scurried about, trying to decide what she should be doing. She didn’t want him to know she’d been sitting like a schoolgirl waiting for him to show.
She rushed to the kitchen, opening cupboards to give the appearance she was planning on making dinner.
The door opened. “Syd?”
“I’m in the kitchen.” She stood with her back to the kitchen doorway and took a deep breath.
He didn’t say anything, but the sparks of electricity snapping in the air clued her in that he was there. Slowly, she turned, her gaze meeting his. For a second, he stood still. She could see the war with himself in his eyes: a mixture of desire and uncertainty.
A second later, Mitch pushed her against the counter, pinning her with his body. He was everywhere. His lips scorched hers, consuming them so fiercely she couldn’t breathe. Fingers threaded through her hair, tugging her head back so he could take the kiss deeper, hotter. His other hand slid under her shirt, sending delicious waves of pleasure straight to her center. He shifted and ground his hips against hers, the long, steel length of him proving how much he desired her. Her hand reached for him, wanting to feel his power. Her fingers slid over him. He wrenched his lips away with a groan.
“We shouldn’t do this.” His lips found new purchase on her neck as he ground his hardness against her hand. But it couldn’t push away his words.
She turned her head and pushed him away. “Stop.”
It took him a moment to register, but he stepped back, his hands lifted in surrender. “What’s wrong?”
She cocked her head to the side. “You just said we shouldn’t do this. If that’s the case, we need to stop.”
“Syd.” He let out a ragged breath. “You know I want to.”
“I want to too, but you said we shouldn’t.”
He shook his head. When he stepped to her, she lifted her hands to block him.
“If we both want it, why is it wrong?”
He swore and ran his fingers through his bronze waves. “I’m not the same man you knew in college.”
“And I’m not the same woman.” Her eyes narrowed as she studied him.
He looked down and then back up at her. “I can’t give you what you want. Not anymore.”
“And what do I want?” She asked, although she knew what he was saying.
He put his hands on his hips. “I don’t know. But I know you deserve more than I can give you. What we had, Syd. It’s long gone. And while I care for you and am attracted to you, I can’t commit to you.”
Her heart broke again. Even though she’d known his feelings all along, hearing him say the words nearly shattered her. But she wouldn’t let him know.
“I’m not a naive schoolgirl. I wasn’t a virgin when I met you, and I certainly haven’t been living like a nun since you left.” She liked seeing the flash of jealousy heat his eyes.
“No, but how many of those men were one-night stands or simple affairs? Sydney, you were never a woman to have sex with someone you don’t care about. Maybe you don’t think you’ll end up married, but you want to be in a relationship that could potentially lead to more, not just a casual bit on the side.”
He was right, but that didn’t mean she was incapable of or morally against sex for the sake of sex.
