Page 60 of Risk It All
“Yes, but it's a small airport. There aren't any commercial flights left today, and you can't get a charter this late. You'll have to wait until tomorrow.”
I run my fingers through my hair. The walls are closing in and unless I want to drive several hours back to D.C., I'm stuck in rural Virginia.
“There's a hotel not far from here. The rooms have mini bars. You look like you could use a drink or two.”
I nod. “What direction?”
Emma tells me how to get to the hotel with the booze and I leave, my tires skidding on the rocks in the driveway. I wish I could leave my heartache behind as well.
Madeleine
“You're an idiot!”Emma scolds me when she returns to the living area after Max leaves.
“Emma, you're out of line,” my mother says.
“No, I'm not, and you know it, Madeleine. That man traveled thousands of miles around the world just to tell you he loves you and you barely said two words. And the two you picked completely broke him.”
“Stop.” I want to cover my ears, to run and hide. Because it's true. I'm a coward and I hurt him. When he stepped into the room, I was stunned. For a moment I thought I was hallucinating, but then he started speaking and I'd nearly run to him.
Instead, I froze and did nothing, except tell him no. I'm doing both of us a service. Sure, we're good together, but it wouldn't last, and then what? I'm certain I wouldn't survive if I loved him and lost him.
“It's unfortunate that he was hurt, but if she doesn't love him—”
“But she does.” Emma whirls on our mother. “Why do you think she's moping around here? Think, mother, when has Madeleine ever been travel weary? Never.”
“Emma, stop.” I try again to stop her tirade, but I'm too drained to put much oomph in my plea.
“That man would crawl over broken glass for you. At the very least he's ready to move to New York. And what will you do? Nothing. You know, maybe it wasn't all those other guys' fault that your relationships didn't work. Maybe it's yours because you're too scared. He's right, you know. You risk your life for animals, but won't risk your heart.”
“Okay Emma, you've made your point,” my father says.
“No, I haven't. You run all around the world looking for adventure and yet you've just turned away from what would probably be the greatest adventure of your life. Think about that, Madeline, when you're old and gray and wondering what would have happened if you'd taken a chance on love.”
“Oh, God.” I can't stop the outbreak of tears as I sink on the couch.
“Madeleine.” My mother sits next to me. “Is what Emma is saying right? Do you love this man?”
The weeping makes it impossible for me to speak. My mother wraps me in her arms and pulls me close. It should be comforting, but even my mother can't put me back together again.
“I can't imagine she would,” my father says, taking out his paper and sitting in his chair. “He's rude to barge in here like that and make demands.”
“It was a declaration of love, Dad. My God, I don't know how you ever won mom's heart,” Emma says.
“Well, it wasn't by interrupting a family gathering, that's for sure. What did he mean by being rejected a lot, anyway? That sounds shady.”
“He grew up in foster care,” Emma says. “But he put himself through school by working and with scholarships, and now he's rich and successful, but missing one thing—love.”
“How do you know all this?” my mother asks Emma.
Emma lets out an exaggerated breath with an eyeroll. “Geez Mom, don't you remember when Eleanor suggested that something may have happened between Madeleine and Max? So, I Googled him.”
“He's come a long way if he was a foster child,” my mother says. “Did he have a good foster family?”
“I'm sure he had several foster families, but I doubt all were good.”
In that moment, I feel even worse. How many people rejected him as a little boy? What did it mean that he put himself in that position again by coming here and I turned him down? I rejected him. Clearly, I don't deserve a man like him. Maybe Emma is right. Maybe it wasn't the men that made me a dating disaster, but my inability to give myself over to love.
“Madeleine,” Emma says like a scolding mother. “He's staying at the Colonial Tavern. If you don't go to him, I will.”
