Page 61 of Risk It All
“Oh Emma, now you're being ridiculous,” my mother says.
“Why? She has you and Daddy. Who does he have? He could probably use a friend.”
If Emma is trying to tap into my jealous side, it works.
I look up at my sister. “You'd do that?” But even as I say it, I realize that while Max might need a friend, he wouldn't take Emma on as any more than that. And she wouldn't make a move on him.
Emma kneels in front of me, her eyes turning soft. “Yes, I'll go visit him, but you and I both know that nothing would happen. He loves you, Madeleine. You love him. Why the hell are you making this so hard?”
I shake my head.
“You can meet him halfway and together you both can go all the way.”
“That's your hopeless romantic side speaking,” I say wiping my nose with the handkerchief my father hands me.
“Tell me you don't think I'm right. You have the most flexible life there is. Surely you can make room for him. You could invite him along sometimes. I mean, if he was able to go to Nigeria, maybe he can go other places with you. And maybe with him in your life, you'll love your work and travel again.”
“Who says I don't like it now?” I ask.
“You did. You've complained about everything you've done since you got back from Nigeria. I think you said your heart wasn't in it. It's probably because you left it with Max.”
Emma is making sense, but fear continues to grip my heart.
“How about this,” Emma starts. “Right now, you're feeling the very heartache you're trying to avoid. What would it be like if you went to him now and he didn't kick your cowardly butt to the curb?”
“Emma, language,” our mother scolds.
“What would it be like, Madeleine?” Emma pushes. “Would he smile? Would he laugh at your jokes? Would he tell you he loved you? Would he hold you?”
“Stop!” A torrent of images rush into my head. Max sitting in the dark with only a flashlight as he talks to Chisara. Max kissing me and touching me like I'm the only woman in the world. Max standing in my parents' living room, bearing his heart, confessing his love. Any one of these things can fix my broken heart, yet I pushed it away. Emma is right. I've created the very thing I've feared.
I push Emma back and stand. “I . . . ah . . . I've gotta go.”
“Yes!”
“Go where? It's almost dinner,” my father asks.
But I'm already out of the room. Edmond, the butler, hands me the keys to my rental car as I near the door.
I look at him questioningly. “How'd you know I need the car?”
He smiles. “Love always wins in the end.”
