Page 54 of Risk It All
As I look out over the water, I will the calm lapping of the waves and warm breeze to help me settle down. But I'm wound tight and about to snap.
“So, is it this Max guy and what did he do?”
“He didn't do anything.” My strength is eroding. It's too much work to keep him out of my mind, out of my heart.
“So, you're upset because he's the first man in your entire life to not fall for your charm?”
I glare at her. “No. I'm not that vain.”
“Oh yeah, that's me.” Emma grins. But then she cocks her head as understanding comes into her eyes. “You fell for him.”
I take a deep breath and then admit to the one thing I've spent the last month denying to everyone except my own heart. “Yes.”
“So, what happened?”
“What always happens. He got upset that I couldn't see him when he wanted me to.”
“Did you tell him about your work?”
“Yes, I told him.” I let out an exasperated breath. “And about how my work affected the others. I even told him about Chase.”
“Jerk.”
In that one supportive statement, all of my restraint breaks and the tears flow.
“Oh, Madeleine. You did fall for him.” She reaches out to hug me and I let her because I don’t have the strength to stop her.
“I think, if I stayed, he would have tried to work it out,” I confess. “So, I left.”
“Left?”
We pull apart but she holds my hand.
“We were in London. I snuck out.” It seems like a lifetime ago, and at the same time, I feel the agony and pain of walking out like I just did it.
“That makes you the jerk.”
I nod. “I know, but it was the right thing to do.”
“Being a jerk was the right thing to do?” Emma asks in disbelief.
“If I feel like this now, imagine how I'd feel months down the road when it ended. And it would end. Within hours of our coming together, he was angry that I wouldn't find a way to make time for him. That doesn't bode very well for a long-term relationship.”
“Did you want to make time for him?”
“Yes, but I had obligations.”
“That were more important than him?” Emma’s romantic streak clouds the reality of my situation.
“See, now you're talking just like him. I didn't hear him saying he'd quit his job to make time for me. He said he'd do anything for the right woman—”
“He runs a bajillion-dollar corporation. It's probably harder for him to make changes in his schedule than you. You decide what jobs to take, Madeleine. You decide when to travel. You only have you. He has tons of people he's responsible for.”
Guilt rises like a tidal wave. “You're not being a very good sister.”
“Actually, for once, I am. I'm just not being your usual sister. Everyone wants me to be more responsible, so here I am.”
“You're not helping. And I don't want you to say anything to Mom or Dad. Or Eleanor.”
