Page 29 of The Midwinter Mirror
“Holly!” Zayne calls out. “Can you come over here?”
I walk slowly over to where he’s standing beside Josh, kicking up the snow with each step. The place is so quiet, the hush of birds gone silent, but as I get closer, I hear a faint ringing under the air. It seeps beneath my skin. Prickles race down my spine.
As I come to a halt, they look at each other, then Josh closes his eyes. A few seconds later, he blinks them open and nods. “The mirror sings to her,” he says. “Like they sang to Amber.”
“What?” I frown. My headache is pressing against my skull, and I want out of this place.
“Josh thinks you’re a mirror mage,” Zayne says.
“Why would he think that?” I stare at Josh accusingly. “Of course I’m not a mirror mage. You said they were all dead. How could I be?” My eyes narrow. “Clearly, you need a mirror mage, and so you’re seeing them everywhere.” They just stare at me.
“Stupid witch.”
At the muttered words, I glance down. Grimlet is at my feet, looking up at me disdainfully. That’s the last chocolate he gets from me.
I rub my hands across my face, pressing one finger between my eyes where the pressure is building. Even thinking about magic gives me a headache. I’m really hoping I can somehow make this whole thing disappear. I don’t know what to do or say. I know what they want from me. They want me to say, yes, I’m a goddamn mirror mage, and I’m going to whistle up a spell and open their stupid mirror and save everyone.
Except I don’t know how.
It doesn’t matter if I am or not.
I have no clue how any of this works.
I want to save the children. Of course I do. But there’s this thing in my head, getting louder and louder and screaming: it’s not real. Until I feel like it will split me open.
Zayne reaches out a hand to me, but I step back, and a look of exasperation crosses his face. “Look, I get it,” he says. “You don’tbelieve in magic. But you have to see that we need you to believe and fucking fast, because we’re almost out of time. Tansy is out of time.”
I don’t want to let him down again. But the pain is getting worse, until I want to tear my hair out. Then a hand touches me, and the pain is suddenly gone. I look down to see Josh’s little hand on my arm.
“How…?”
He shrugs. “I don’t know.”
I swallow. “Thank you.” I take a deep breath. “I want to help. But I don’t know how.”
“You believe us?” Zayne asks with a frown.
I nod. “You’re not the first person to call me a witch today.”
He frowns, then his expression clears. “The letter from your mother.”
“She said I was a witch. But that I wasn’t safe in my homeland. That a bad person was taking all the witches like me and stealing their magic. She’d done a spell, so that my magic was hidden and added a compulsion so I would never be interested in anything to do with magic. Then she’d brought me here.”
“Wow. I don’t suppose she told you how to break the compulsion? We could use a witch right now.”
A sense of…uselessness fills me. I snort. “I’m glad you’re impressed. But no, I don’t know how to break the compulsion. And she also said that if I ever do magic, then the bad person will find me.” I shake my head. “So, you see it doesn’t matter what I am. I’m no use to you. The children will die, and it will be my fault.”
I turn to go. I hate this place. Then I turn back and glare at the three of them. “And I still don’t believe in fucking magic!” I yell as if shouting it loud enough might make it true.
But the snow swallows my words.
And the hum beneath my skin only grows.
Chapter 12
Only in Elderfell
Zayne
