Page 13 of Deafened By Silence
Chapter Nine
I clench my jaw, watching Wavershit take his sweet fucking time to saunter out of the lab. The door finally clicks shut, the atmosphere inside tripling as neither of us wants to move first. Eventually, my companion forces a shaky laugh.
“Well, that was awkward,” she mumbles, pulling her hair over her shoulder to play with it.
I have managed to resist looking at her again for the entire lesson, which was a torture in itself, so I refuse to do so now. Her large green eyes are embedded in my memory anyway, the way she looked up at me, the way she felt in my arms. Unlike the other girls here who judge my non-designer clothes, those who sneer or ignore my existence completely, she gazed at me as if I were her savior. It was nice to be seen for once, to be needed.
I shake my head at the ridiculous thought and start to pack away my textbooks. Clearly it’s been far too long since I’ve had the company of a female. Naturally, the first agenda on my mind when I left Juvie was to fuck my way through as many women as were willing, and thanks to my vigorous cell workouts, many were willing. But no matter how hard I tried, nothing could fill the empty void I’ve learnt to live with.
From then on, I decided I would only take a girl to bed if we had a meaningful connection, which conflicts with my urge to push everyone away so my right hand and I have had to become very well acquainted. Zipping up my backpack, I shove one strap over my shoulder and stand to leave.
“I’m Harper, by the way, if you remember me,” her hand touches my arm. I still, and she quickly removes it. “I’m deaf by the way, if you didn’t see the commotion in the cafeteria this morning. Just so you know. And I…um, I didn’t say thank you, for the other day with the rain and the fountain,” Harper rambles. Her long lashes flutter slightly as she looks up at me and I fall into her gaze again.
Her face is flawless, not a freckle or blemish in sight. Her nose turns up slightly at the end, a tiny smile sitting on her full lips. But her eyes, so wide and willing, so accepting and raw. I could stare into her eyes for hours, spilling every secret and thought I’ve ever had. I’d give her whatever she wanted while she’s looking at me like that.
Fuck, nope, not going to happen. There’s too much riding on my shoulders to step into a pissing contest against Wavershit. Moving into the central aisle, I notice Kenneth’s notebook amongst the pile on the floor, his tell-tale animated doodles covering over half of the front cover. Picking it up, I rip a page out of the back and scrawl a message across it.
‘Gone to the gym, don’t stalk me.’
Tucking the note inside the pad, I leave it on his table for him to find when he realizes he’s missing all of his notes from class. I make it two more steps towards the door when something strikes hard, hitting me square in the back. A book drops to the floor, its hard edge resting innocently as if it didn’t just leave a mark between my shoulder blades.
“Didn’t your mother teach you any manners?” Harper shouts from her seat at the back of the room. I freeze in place, halfimpressed at her throwing arm and half needing to take a deep inhale to remain calm. Spinning slowly, I keep my voice steady because I did in fact catch the drama from the cafeteria this morning.
“She did, before the dementia robbed her from me. What’s your mom’s excuse?”
“Dead,” Harper deadpans and raises a brow. She hastily stuffs her belongings away. “So I win this pity party and you should still know better. I was being nice. The least you could do was acknowledge me.” Pushing her phone into her back pocket, she grabs her bag and strolls past me. Pausing by the door, she turns back to face me. “I hope you manage to pull the stick from your ass and have a good day-”
“I’m Clayton, by the way,” I interrupt, half mocking the way she introduced herself to me. She’s right, my manners are lacking. I’ll put it down to barely being spoken to for months aside from a threat or insult. Harper’s resulting smile strikes me directly in the chest.
“I know,” Harper breathes. With an approving nod, she’s gone. I wait a few more moments to quiet the turbulent emotions battling within before leaving myself, pleased to find the hallway is empty. Walking along the rows of lockers, I stop at mine to retrieve the gym kit stashed inside for times like this. The class I’m supposed to have in ten minutes is a write-off, the emotions within needing to be expelled through grueling physical exercise.
Crossing the campus with long strides, I can already sense the undercurrent of excitement that comes to life every Friday . Wavershit’s weekly parties. Or maybe, night of utter chaos and carnage would be more fitting. The blearing of music can be heard across the entire academy, mixed with sporadic explosions and high-pitched screams filling the night’s sky.Anything could be happening but the staff turn a blind eye. Once again, money surpassing sense.
Down the central walkway, a large group of chittering cheerleaders spilt to let me pass, some scoffing with looks of disgust and hair flicks. Others sneak an appreciative eye when they think their friends aren’t looking, a rogue hand reaching out of the crowd to squeeze my ass. I whip round on a snarl, forcing them all to jerk back and squeal in alarm.
Obviously there was always going to be a divide between me, living on hand outs, and the ones who can actually afford to attend Waversea. But that doesn’t mean I will be equally scorned and groped on a daily basis by those who think their undeserved inheritances make them better than me. I don’t have a cent to my name but hold onto the knowledge I have qualities they will never be able to possess.
“Don’t think I’m beyond snapping a few of your precious fingers the next time one of you touches me without an invitation,” I growl.
As if I would extend such an invitation to those shallow airheads. If I’m ever blessed with a woman tough enough to handle me, she’ll know what it means to be worshipped.If.If I manage to surface from the debts my mom’s care home is drowning me in. If I make something of myself worth loving.
Unable to stay in their presence a second longer without losing it, the narrowed eyes and curled upper lips adding to my inner-hatred, I force myself to turn away. My feet move quickly now, the release of exercise coming into view in the form of a heavily windowed white building. Shoving past a sophomore hovering in the doorway, I scan my college ID card and push against the metal barrier which doesn’t budge. Groaning, I try again for the same red flashing light to appear on the touchpad.
“You’ve exceeded this month’s sessions,” an already-smirking redhead says from behind the counter, popping abubble of gum. Not this bullshit again. I swear the gym staff have a bet going on how long before I utterly lose my shit and break the barrier. But they know as much as I do, I can’t afford to fix it. “You can upgrade to a gold membership for-”
“I’m on a scholarship plan. I get as many visits as I want.Look closer,” I grit my teeth in an attempt to withhold the threat in my tone. Any other college treat their scholarship students like royalty, accepting the skill that it takes to receive such a chance. But not here. Here I’m filth. Undeserving. Unworthy. Red curtains my vision, a tremor raking through my arms.
Chewing her gym noisily, the redhead bends forward in her black uniform featuring the college crest on the bust and squints at the screen exaggeratingly. “Oh yes, so you are,” she sniggers and pushes the button to let me enter. I withhold the names I’d like to call her, jogging up the first flight of stairs. I change in record time and burst into the gym with a tightness in my chest making it difficult to breathe.
Shining chrome and the tang of sweat greet me like old friends. Dropping into the seat of a recently vacated rowing machine, I instantly push myself into a vigorous workout without wasting time warming up. Every reel of the cord quells the rage that was close to taking over, the burn in my chest spreading into my biceps and thighs.
Images flash through my mind with each heave on the handle. Jeremy laughing easily, mom kissing our foreheads with a twinkle in her dark eyes. Fond memories which have become tainted. When it all becomes too much, the bitter grief I often succumb to, I switch my focus to another aspect of my life. The scoffs and jeers I get from everyone each and every day. I hate the world, and welcome it’s hatred right back.
Suddenly a face appears in my mind’s eye, sea foam green framed by thick eyelashes. A heart shaped face that doesn’t twistup, lips that don’t curl. Even better, she stood up to me. Called me out on my bullshit.
The last of my anger snaps like an elastic band, rushing from me on a ragged breath that has me stopping mid-thrust. Leaning forward with my elbows on my knees, I try to make sense of whatever just happened but come up blank. She managed to soothe me without even being here. Without doing anything.
Rain begins to pound against the glass-covered exterior, the sky a sea of charcoal grey clouds I hadn’t noticed rolling in. Water thunders against the windows, filling the gym with a pounding similar to the hooves of a hundred horses trying to break in. Everyone present turns to look at the sudden downpour, more than a few groaning about tonight’s party likely being cancelled.
