Page 84 of Wrestling with Daddy
“Good boy,” he murmured, placing a soft kiss against his forehead. “Let’s take some time to rest. Ash has to stay in the pupnic anyway but he’s free for a few hours after. We’ll go see him then.”
“I’m embarrassed.”
“That’s fine. I’ll be there with you.”
CHAPTER22
nathan
Daddy saidthat they should nap to get rid of all the ugly, lingering emotions. It sounded solid when he explained it, when Nathan was cocooned in blankets and Daddy was rubbing his back in the most soothing ways.
He couldn’t get to sleep, though; he couldn’t shut off his brain screaming about what a fuckup he was.
Why hadn’t Ken stormed off the room or told him to fuck off yet?
Well, maybe he wouldn’t use those words because it wasDaddyand he had much more control than that. He was sensitive, too, but…
Nathan couldn’t figure it out.
It made his skin itch.
“Are you going to punish me, S-Sir?”
“No. Why is it Sir now?”
Nathan frowned. Why wouldn’t Daddy punish him? He’d misbehaved, and wasn’t a Daddy’s task to punish their boy when they misbehaved?
Unless…
Nathan gasped.
A little voice inside his head told him he was overreacting, but it would make sense.
Maybe Daddy didn’t want to be… Daddy anymore.
“I don’t deserve you as Daddy.”
He didn’t make the statement so Daddy… Ken… corrected him. That truth settled in his bones, infecting every vessel and pore of his body.
He should’ve never held back, should’ve put it all out there for Ken to run away before anything happened. Now he’d hurt Ken, and Nathan was nowhere near where he wanted. How he wanted to be.
“Look at me, baby boy,” Ken’s voice made it through all the webbed thoughts that were clouding his awareness. Nathan just didn’t know how to carry out that order, not until Ken was tucking a finger under his chin and forcing him to. “I know you’re going to struggle with the things you’re feeling sometimes. I know you’re going to drop. I know you’re going to speak before you think things through.”
“B-but–”
Ken silenced him with a thumb before Nathan continued.
It wasn’t fair.
His rebuttal made sense.
“You hurt me today,” Ken continued—even when tears rushed to Nathan’s eyes and he whimpered. “But part of that hurt was scars from my past, scars you didn’t inflict. I don’t know yet what I need to have that extra security that I’m not repeating history; maybe more protocol, or a tighter leash, or… I don’t know. I wanted to use this time to figure out a plan. But for now, I want to help you, to show you what a ridiculously perfect pup you are and how much fun playing with others can be. Is that okay with you?”
Nathan nodded. He didn’t think it would be fair to do anything else.
As for whether he was okay with it, or not… He wanted to play with other puppies like Ash, even if that had only been a secret fantasy of his a mere month ago. He wanted Ken to be there with him, to call him a good boy and give him treats for doing tricks and making him laugh.
Hell, he wanted that tighter leash. Protocol too, if it would have him drooling with need like it did every time he had to ask before he could kiss him.
