Page 40 of Coiled Tight
Ugh.
“Okay, but I’m just saying.” I pouted before I reached backward so that my back hit the headboard of the bed. The Xanax was supposed to help me sleep, but I didn’t want to fall asleep randomly. That would just make it more embarrassing. “I’m sorry. About this.”
“It’s fine.” He sighed before he sat on the bed again.
He was on his side, close to the edge with one knee bent, but he might’ve as well been right next to me. Did I want that? I… I did. I was fucked.
Saúl had locks of hair getting in his eyes. I itched to tuck it behind his ears, but there was no universe where I could.
“Can I tell you something?”
One would’ve assumed it was a simple question. Saúl mulled it over as if the weight of the world depended on the answer.
“You don’t learn a lesson, do you?”
“What do you mean?”Oh. Right. Because this was how it had started both timesI’d ended up spilling my guts and then panicking because I’d said more than I’d ever wanted to say.Oops. “Okay, but this doesn’t make me seem like a monster.”
“You are going to blurt it out at some point, no matter what I say, aren’t you?”
“Probably.”
There were two days in the truck ahead of us,andtwo weeks in Houston, where I didn’t know anyone, and I’d have to deal with mingling with strangers and upselling shit as if I knew the first thing about it. Those nerves would have to come out at some point.
Why did I keep doing this shit to myself?
“Go ahead then.”
Saúl didn’t look too enthusiastic. Any other day, it would’ve stopped me. Enthusiastic consent was important and all. Any other day, though, we wouldn’t be in this situation to begin with.
I should’ve never agreed to this road trip. Or two weeks in Houston with him and no one else to run interference. No idea what the hell I’d been thinking, but I was not proud of whatever had happened there with my brain cells.
“Um. So.” I wrapped my hands around my knees. “I’ve never had a Daddy.”
In my head, for a fleeting second, telling him had made sense.
“Okay…?” Saúl blinked slowly. Or was I the one blinking slowly? Xanax acted fast, but did it act this fast? “Why does this matter?”
“Well, because you’re a Daddy, and you saw me in a diaper, so you must’ve made assumptions, and it’s important to curb those.” I managed to tilt my chin up. I didn’t feel too defiant, but appearances were important. “Assumptions are bad.”
“I… agree.”
I didn’t know if Saúl was fighting the urge to laugh his ass off or the urge to run away and find a way to drive to Houston all on his own. It wasn’t as if I was a lot of help as a copilot, astoday had proven, so he could probably manage it just fine. And Sheryl didn’t look like a serial killer, so I’d be fine, too. Probably. Unless there were other serial killers in the motel that I hadn’t noticed.
“You’re not going to leave me stranded here, are you?”
I would entertain it if I were him, but that didn’t mean I had to be happy about it. Besides, we’d already established I shouldn’t be a role model for anyone.
It wasn’t my forte. I didn’t know what my forte was, but it wasn’t being a reliable person.
“No, Cam, I’m not going to leave you stranded.” He scrubbed a hand down his face before he started watching me funny. “Why don’t you get back in bed? It’s a long day ahead tomorrow.”
“That’s it?”
A small smile appeared there. No amount of pills was going to keep me from zeroing in on it. “That’s it.”
fourteen
saúl
