Page 41 of Coiled Tight
This trip was a terrible idea. We should’ve definitely splurged on the airplane tickets, even though I hated flying, and the trip was an excuse to meet up with some donors on the way who loved bugging me on a regular basis if I didn’t show my face. There was a high likelihood Cam would’ve spilled his guts regardless, but I wouldn’t be trapped in this damn truck for at least another day while I processed.
I’d so wanted to ask follow-up questions the night before. Cam’s eyes had begun to look a bit glassy, however, and I didn’t want it to be misconstrued as me taking advantage of him in a vulnerable situation.
Between the fact that he’d never been whipped while havingwhipson his handle, and the fact that he’d never had a Daddy in spite of the ABDL kink, he was becoming an enigma on top of the spooked thing I already saw him as.
He was driving today, so I could spread my legs some more and close my eyes as I felt the breeze from the open window.
I should’ve known that driving wouldn’t completely stop his need to fill thesilence.
“I have been with Doms, for the record,” he blurted out of nowhere. “Just not Daddy types.”
I forced myself to open my eyes and look at him. Him driving meant I didn’t have to time it when I glanced at him with the hope of catching something in his expression that would give me a clue on how to answer.
Even sleep-deprived and with his hair mussed because he had washed it but also ran his hand through it a hundred times since we got out of the room in search of breakfast, he was gorgeous.
With a sharp jawline that ticked when he worried about what someone else was thinking of him and a few almost not visible freckles across his cheeks, he was a conundrum. Masculine, definitely not soft in appearance, but soft, regardless. His aura belied his physique.
I wish I knew how he felt about it, if he tried to overcompensate or if he leaned into it, or if that contradiction was behind his anxiety, his insecurity in how the world saw him, and how he saw the world.
“How’s that? Daddies are not hard to find.”
I might not have been around the scene in years, but everything I read online pointed to the fact that Daddies werereallysought out. Wasn’t it one of the most searched terms on porn sites recently?
Cam spluttered. “Harder than you think, first of all. But um. It’s not that. I just don’t really approach them, I guess?”
“Why?”
He was someone whose best friend was—had been—another Little he’d met in a forum. Even if he’d only engaged online, I couldn’t think of a reason why he wouldn’t be all over Daddies’ DMs.
I’d had to deal with a few Littles like that when I was a more active player.
“I’m ashamed of it, I guess.” Cam’s eyes narrowed, histongue licking his lip as he took a turn on the road. “Online play with other Littles is the best, and I love it, but when it came to meeting a Daddy in person? I chickened out. I can’t… I can’t be Little around them. Too vulnerable. My anxiety spikes through the roof.”
I listened, taking in the information. It wasn’t something I’d heard before, but I supposed there was merit to it.
“Reminds me of part of the reason why I can’t be a Sadist from the get-go.”
“Oh?”
I hadn’t planned to say it—I’d been speaking out loud for the most part, a habit from spending so much time surrounded by animals who needed to learn the sound and the cadence of my voice. I supposed he had made himself vulnerable enough times.
Iwantedto tell him, to talk about these things. I could justify it as having been a really long time since I’d been around someone where kink was a safe topic of conversation, but I’d never been a big fan of lying to myself.
Carrying guilt? Absolutely.
Lying? Not so much.
“Don’t get me wrong, part of it has to do with the mind games, and wanting my play partner to really get lost in the pain and the sensations running through their body.” I licked my lips and avoided thinking about my cock tenting my jeans. It was a natural reaction when thinking about the about-to-be-bruised skin of a sub, but it didn’t mean I’d draw attention to the fact. “But part of it is also not wanting to cause harm. Especially with impact, too many subs throw themselves out there with misguided ideas about why they want to be punished, or what it’s like to be flogged, and I can’t focus on the pleasure of it if I’m wondering if they’re going to regret the marks the next day.”
“Oh.” Cam repeated the sound. To his credit, he stayedsilent for all of nine seconds afterward. He almost made it to ten before he broke. “I like marks.”
I snorted. “Of course you do.”
“What’s that mean?” he demanded right away with all the fury only a Little brat could infuse into their voice. “I told you I have been with Doms, just not Daddies. I have proof.”
“Uh-huh.” I cleared my throat. “Proof is good.”
“It’s true!” Why was he getting riled up over this? I didn’t know. I knew it was better not to ask, though. Cam gave himself away without prompting nine out of ten times. “Grab my phone, I’ll show you.”
