Page 84 of Coiled Tight
“I’m very anxious about tomorrow.”
“You’ve said that already.” Daddy was crouched down while checking over the fence and while I held Swiftheart’s bridle. Daddy said there was no need; that she was a good horse—which she was—and too easily motivated by the treats he had on him. It was true, but keeping an eye on her meant Iwas keeping busy. “But I’m proud of you for going through it.”
It was hard to keep myself from squirming. Mercury was the best boy, but I didn’t want him to read into my body language and get spooked or think I meant something that I didn’t. He was growing used to me, but we didn’t have that easy connection Daddy had with Swiftheart. I was mindful of his background, too. Sofía had told me more about him, too, about how prone he had been to reopen his wound during his recovery. It was the reason he’d ended up here. I tried not to be bitter toward the owners. It was a work in progress, only half-appalled by Daddy’s insistence that they were good people.
“If you say so.” I patted Mercury’s neck as I spoke. Maybe the petting would compensate for all the anxiety I must be signaling. “I don’t think I had a choice.”
“And how deeply you believe that is why you’re not the undeserving monster you think you are.”
Was it?
“I didn’t come here so you made me feel all better or whatever it is you’re doing, Daddy.”
Obviously, there was no bite to my words. I wasn’t that good of an actor, and my brattiness was reserved for non-serious topics. Besides, he had a point, dammit. I didn’t like it, and I definitely didn’t like the clenching of my stomach if I spent more than a few seconds on it.
There was something about how Saúl said things. He wasn’t a poet laureate, and he wasn’t always the most tactful, but there was no subterfuge. He just stated things, and gave no room to do anything but listen. I didn’t want to devalue it by just thinking of it as a Daddy thing, but thinking of it in those terms made it easier to swallow. It made it easier to keep seeking out his warmth, his comfort.
It made it easier to ignore the fear that creeped in.
I’d never actually seen Kara angry. I wasn’t sure the idea ofher anger was what scared me—even though it didn’t help—but the possibility, the uncertainty…
I didn’t know how to cope with it.
“It’s in the morning, right?”
“Yep. She’s in Spain. That’s like eight hours ahead of us. So I’m going to be sleepy on top of anxious, and that just means my stomach is gonna be even more of a mess. Yay.”
Of course, I hadn’t even considered asking her to reschedule. For one thing, she knew I wasn’t a morning person, so her choosing that time was either part of a petty revenge I couldn’t fault her for, or she simply didn’t care. The latter would suck a lot, and it hurt, but… Well, I deserved it.
Even if I wasn’t a monster like Daddy said, not even him could fault that logic.
I wasn’t going to test it in any case.
“I got an email from the pet store, by the way. All the puppy things will be here on Tuesday.”
That part helped lift off the thunderstorm clouds holding me down. It wasn’t my usual level of excitement, but getting all the pretty bowls and collars and beds and toys and all thenecessitieseveryone I’d talked with had teased me for because I was apparently spending too much money on things when they could easily make do with stuff we already had, meant that they could move to the main house and leave the vet lair.
They were watched and doted on around the clock, but I knew they weren’t going to come out of their shell until they had a proper home. Golden had that sad look in her eyes more often than not, and it broke my heart and made my eyes all glassy at least a dozen times a day.
The puppies didn’t know any better, and they were just happy figuring out how their legs worked, but still.
“Have you thought of their names yet?” Daddy glanced back at me after nailing something something more properly into the ground.
“Oh! That’s true, I forgot to tell you!” I exclaimed. “Well, to be fair, if you visited us in our lair, you’d know. There’s a giant banner now with them.”
“Maybe I wanted to hear it from you.”
“Uh-huh.” I rolled my eyes. There was only so much charm I could fall for in a day. “Anyway. They’re Brownie and Bootylicious, and I’m not taking questions if you can’t tell which is which.”
I really had gone for the obvious. Brownie was a perfectly smooth chocolate color all over. Bootylicious was a slightly lighter color, and she had a big white patch all the way from the middle of her back to her butt. They both looked like they took over more from their missing daddy’s side, but it was hard to tell. Golden wasn’t a pure breed either, but it made me a bit sad that none of the pups had her creamy fur.
When I really felt like fucking up my day, I wondered if that was another reason why she looked so hesitant. She was a good mama, but there weren’t enough studies on dogs’ maternal instincts and how they felt after childbirth or after losing babies.
The patriarchy affected more than humans. Who would’ve thought.
“Those are… names.” Daddy took a second to stretch after standing up. “And you got the appointment with the vet in town?”
“Yeah. Well, Sofía convinced him into driving here Monday before my shift starts.”
