Page 2 of Noah
“Everyone had a messed up childhood, sounds like he needs therapy. I know a good one.”
“Haha. Yes, he does. He’s been, and he was doing well until he met Johann. At first, the man was great and they were happy, but now it’s just…well, that’s how a lot of abusers operate, you know? At first, they’re great and charming, and then once you’re hooked, they can start amping up the hurt and gaslighting. It’s harder when there’s kink involved, easier to blur the lines.”
“Yeah. That’s why I didn’t like it,” he says, and this is a conversation they’ve had before. The truth is that he’d only dabbled a little in the BDSM scene, but he’d spoken to too many submissives that had such terrible stories of what they’d gone through that he couldn’t help but wonder if he too would wind up being one of those men who hurt someone they were supposed to take care of. He hadn’t found the answer.
That was a few years ago. He hasn’t been in a relationship or really even looked for one since. He doesn’t know what he wants and he’s gotten pretty good at being alone. Thanks and fuck you to the pandemic, really. Alone feels normal.
He knows Will thinks it’s an excuse to be alone.
Will sighs, and Jensen knows him so well that he can understand his friend’s response contained in that single puff of air. He’s a coward, he shouldn’t be alone. He’s taking the scared way out by not getting close to people.
“Things that are worth having are not typically easy to get.”
Ugh.
“This isn’t just going to be good for him. I swear, I swear this will be good for you, too,” Will says, and Jensen gives in.
“Okay. Tell me more about my potential new flatmate,” he says, softly. Because he doesn’t want to argue with Will, and the fact of the matter is that he does owe Will, and Will is smart and has his shit together. If he thinks this is good for both of them, then it probably is.
“Great. That’s great. So, about six months ago I started to get really worried. I tried to warn Noah but he swore he was happy and then he just stopped taking my calls. I’ve been worried, but I didn’t think…honestly, I don’t think I ever imagined Noah would let it get this bad. If I’d had to bet money on who’d get out of that type of situation, it’d be him. And then I met Grant and I got distracted.”
“Ah yes, the perfect Grant. How is your instalove bliss?”
“Enduring, I’m happy to say. I’d love for you to meet him.”
“Someday,” he says because he doesn’t know when that will happen and doesn’t like to make promises he is unsure about his ability to keep. They live hundreds of miles apart, and Jensen is so stuck in his ways that it may as well be on the other side of the country.
“You were saying? He got in over his head?” Though he can’t quite imagine letting someone do that, he knows it happens. Good and strong people find themselves in bad situations and are unable to leave.
“Noah’s confidence has taken a hit, his self-esteem is gone, he needs help and he needs protection, and you can do that. I’m begging you here.”
“You begging is not something I ever want to see,” he says and turns away from the window to look at his apartment. The lights aren’t even on. Everything is clean and sterile. Gray and modern but actually it just feels like a really cold apartment that no one lives in.
“You have a spare bedroom. He’s a good flatmate. I lived with him for a few months several years back. He’s good company and you need that.”
He can’t even deny it. Though he’d like to. When was the last time he interacted with someone? Has it been two weeks? God, has it been three? He doesn’t even go to the grocery store anymore but has it all delivered. He’s got a gym in his apartment, he ‘works’ from home managing his trust fund, and the days seem to pass calmly enough.
“Just meet him and you’ll want to help him.”
Will’s a good judge of character but he’s laying it on a bit thick. “I’ve already said I’ll do it. You don’t have to keep talking him up.”
“I’m not. It’s true. Don’t worry, I’ve talked you up too. I’ve told him you’re fantastic. The real deal.”
“That’s a horrible thing to say to someone,” he says, the room suddenly warm. Good god, has he been so sheltered and isolated that a compliment is enough to make him blush? Maybe he does need a flatmate. “If I don’t like him and can’t have him here then I’ll help him find a place.”
Will must realize that’s as far as he’ll go. “Good enough. When can you see him?”
The good thing about living like an obsessive neat freak is that at least he doesn’t have to tidy. “Whenever.”
“How about today?”
“Uh. Sure. Today is fine. But, I’ve gotta run an errand or two first. Late afternoon?”
“Perfect,” Will says, sounding relieved and happy. “And Jensen, you won’t regret it.”
2
Noah’s interview is at 5 pm, but he’s so nervous about being late or not being able to find the place that he gets there at 4:30. He’s also terrified he’s going to change his mind and not move out. Be a coward and continue to stay living with his master even though their relationship hasn’t been good for a long time.
