Page 15 of Noah
It isn’t hard to figure out what’s upsetting him. Jensen would be the perfect daddy. He’s known the man for hours and it was plenty of time to see that he’d make some boy very happy.
Isn’t it just his fucking luck to meet the best daddy in the world when he’s at the lowest point of his entire fucking life and a goddamned wreck?
And now Jensen is thinking about it. Who knows, Noah might be unlucky enough to still be living with him when he finds his dream boy. It might even be someone Noah knows.
As a matter of fact, that would be just his sort of luck.
7
Jensen finishes his ice cream while Noah is in the restroom. The temptation to go after him is there, but he doesn’t act on it because he knows how deeply inappropriate it would be.
Noah got up and left for a reason. He wanted space to get himself together. Jensen needs to honor that.
What is it about the young man that raises up his protective instincts and makes him want to pursue Noah and check up on him? Even offer comfort? He isn’t sure he even knew he had protective instincts, not like this.
When he’d been in the military, he’d protected the men he served with as best he could. But that was different than this. Even his relationship with Will isn’t like this. He owes him a great deal and would protect him in a heartbeat or help him if he needed it. But even that debt of gratitude and the love he feels for him isn’t like his feelings for Noah.
Maybe it’s just because no one has ever needed him like Noah needs him. Noah needs to be protected from his ex, protected from those who see how big and attractive he is, that core of willing submission, and decide it’s something to be taken advantage of.
If he didn’t know Noah, didn’t know what he had been through and just how fragile he was, how willing to sacrifice himself for other people, would he still feel as protective?
A small child and his mother walk by and sit at a table on the other side of the restaurant. The child is holding a stuffed animal that’s just about as large as he is. It looks cozy and soft and brings a smile to Jensen’s face.
Maybe he should get one for Noah. It could sit on the couch. Or he could take it to bed with him and maybe it would keep him from answering the phone if that asshole called. Noah’s ex is a scumbag. A violent asshole who should be locked away. Abusive. And seeing how difficult Noah finds it to cut ties with the man, even though he’s done nothing but hurt Noah, makes him want to bundle Noah up and keep him safe.
Protect him.
Clearly, someone has to. Noah can’t protect himself. And maybe Noah knows that and that’s why the idea of having a daddy, someone who would genuinely cherish him and care for him and want what’s best for him, was so upsetting. After all he’s been through, it just seems impossible that someone like that could exist. As Noah said, the concept of finding a good daddy is like telling him to find a unicorn.
If anyone deserves a unicorn daddy to treat him well, it’s Noah.
Noah comes back, has one last bite of his ice cream and they get their bags and return home. Noah tries to act like everything is fine, but it’s clear he’s subdued. Shoulders hunched in on himself, the smile he keeps turning towards Jensen not as bright and doesn’t reach his eyes.
Jensen wants to hug him, pull him into his arms and tell him he’s gorgeous and good and deserves to be happy. But he doesn’t because that isn’t his place. He’d never even think of saying that to someone he’s known only for a handful of hours.
It’s just that Noah brings out a different side of him.
They exit the elevator, and Jensen gets out his keys, not moving as quickly as he should to unlock the door.
“What are you going to do now?“ Jensen asks.
“I don’t know. I’m tired. I think I might take a nap.”
“That sounds like a good idea. I’m going to go to the store and get a few things for dinner. But I’m wondering about the phone.”
He’s got the door unlocked, but doesn’t want to open it. Not quite yet.
He turns around and meets Noah’s gaze. It’s even flatter than it was before.
“You’re exhausted,” Jensen murmurs.
“What about the phone?” Noah asks, voice too quiet.
“What if I go in and check it? If anyone else has called you or texted you besides him, then I’ll let you know. But there isn’t anything you need to hear from him right now. Can’t it wait a bit longer?”
Noah opens his mouth and closes it again, clearly wanting to argue. He swallows audibly. “No. I guess I don’t need to hear from him right now,” Noah says, carefully. “I know you think I never need to hear from him again. But I’m not ready for that. But I can do a couple more hours if that’s…well, if that’s what you want,” he says and he’s so sweet that he blushes.
Jensen bites back his automatic response, which is to call bullshit on a couple of hours. That’s nothing! But, he doesn’t. He needs to stay calm, and be strategic in how he approaches this situation with Noah.
