Page 20 of Noah
Noah is thinking of Jensen as someone who would be a good daddy. Noah thinks of himself as a boy who needs help.
Surely this is the right thing to do?
“And then we will watch TV and go to sleep. You and me,” he says, and Noah shifts in the bed so he’s closer, like a flower turning towards the sun. God, he wants to offer to be his daddy in truth. Maybe Noah’s desire for gentleness will wear off and he won’t need it anymore, but right now, it’s exactly what he needs.
The idea of waiting for Noah to talk to Will first doesn’t even occur to him. All he can think about is the man in front of him, and how much he’s sure that what they both need is each other.
“I’ve been doing some thinking,” Jensen says, heart pounding. “And I was wondering, do you want to be my boy tonight? I think we have to start small and see how it goes but if—”
“Really?” He whispers, eyes wide and glassy.
“Really. Keep in mind that I don’t know what I’m doing. You’re my first. I might not do it right. But, I’d like to try…with you. But please don’t agree if you don’t want to. I’d hate for you to think you have to. Maybe you’ve already had enough softness.”
“I haven’t,” he says, quickly. “And I get to be your first?” He repeats, voice uneven. “And do I…” he licks his lips. “Do I get to call you daddy?”
“I suppose you would,” Jensen says and gets warm all over. It turns out that Noah saying that word, to him, is far more affecting than he’d suspected. If Jensen doesn’t leave right now then he isn’t sure he’ll be able to stop himself from turning this physical. Just a kiss. Just a touch, but that doesn’t feel right.
It’s too soon.
“Dinner,” Jensen says and starts to stand.
Noah sits up and reaches for him, gripping his arm. He’s shirtless and Jensen can’t help but glance down, take in the splendor of the young man before him. He forces himself to look away. The urge to turn the evening sexual is suddenly much too tempting. But that isn’t what Noah needs. Being a daddy doesn’t have to be sexual. He needs to keep this platonic and safe.
“I’ll meet you in the living room,” he says and pulls away.
“What should I wear?” Noah calls before he can leave the room.
Noah throws back the covers and comes closer. Jensen stares at the door frame, trying not to look. But then he’s right in front of him, wearing boxer briefs and he’s aroused and this is so far beyond Jensen’s vanilla experience that he’s frozen.
Noah closes the distance between them. “You could choose something for me? Or….”
Jensen is dreading whatever Noah is about to say. He can already tell it’s going to be a terrible temptation.
“Noah,” he says, repressively.
“I could be naked?”
“Naked?” He repeats and is surprised some part of him doesn’t explode. One of his two heads. It could be either one at this rate.
Noah shrugs, maybe a little shy. “I like being on display. It makes me happy, and you like looking at me, don’t you? I just thought it would be a nice way to pass the evening. Something pleasant for the both of us. And if you’re going to be a daddy tonight and I’m going to be a boy…It’s just a suggestion.”
The idea is shocking, and his instinct is to deny it outright, but he knows that would shame Noah and make him feel like he’s done bad by offering. And he can’t think of anything he wants more than for Noah to feel good.
“Noah, I think if you did that I wouldn’t be able to keep my hands off you. I’m afraid I don’t know where the line is. You’re going to have to go easy on me,” he says and hopes it comes across gently.
His smile is sweet, blinding. “I’m pretty sure daddies don’t keep their hands off their boys. And I’ve gotta say that sounds like a much better way to spend the night. The idea of being here with you and serving you is much better than the dungeon. I’m usually nude at the dungeon.”
This is moving too quickly. He’s supposed to be doing what’s best for Noah but if he isn’t careful it’s just going to be about satisfying his own selfish desires.
“We’re not doing nudity,” he says, certain.
Noah nods. Jensen thinks it’s surrender, Noah being reasonable. It isn’t.
“That’s probably for the best. Master always liked me to wear a jock, he never let me come very much. And it means I’m always turned on and it can get messy. I doubt you want me to drip on your rug.”
He means to look. It’s just that his gaze is sliding down Noah’s chest and checking for proof that Noah is messy when he’s aroused before he can tell himself that examining Noah’s groin for liquid proof of arousal is a bad, bad idea.
And sure enough, his cock is hard and long, and at the tip is a quarter-sized wet spot from where he’s leaking pre-come.
