Page 17 of A LIttle Christmas: Samm
That’s what Samuel wrote. That’s what he wants. Bryan has read it so many times that he can remember it perfectly.
Though he isn’t sure what Samuel meant by ‘best way to give myself to you.’ Bryan also has questions about the ’consequences’ Samuel hopes for if he ‘sits on Daddy’s lap.’
Daddy!
How erotic it would be to hear that word come out of Samuel’s mouth. To hear him moan the word as he’s filled up with cock.
It makes him realize he doesn’t know Samuel at all. They’ve spent most of every day together for years, and there is a whole section of his life he knows nothing about.
The desire Bryan has felt in the last 24 hours is unlike anything he’s ever experienced. And to think some stranger is going to get to relieve the ache and discomfort in his cock and balls with Samuel’s mouth or hand or?—
“Why him?” He demands. His tone is harsher than he means it to be. “Sorry, I didn’t mean for it to come out like that.”
“That’s… okay,” Samuel says. He’s looking at Bryan closely, body turned towards him in the car.The space feels very small.
Bryan realizes his hand is in his hair again, and he puts it back on the wheel.
“Because he’s there, I guess. Because he wants me and says he’s looking for something fairly regular. I’d like more than that, but I’m willing to settle. I have to start somewhere. Otherwise, I’m just gonna be alone forever. I’ve done casual hookups that never went anywhere, and I’ve tried waiting for the universe to provide the sort of man I want, and neither of those things has happened. I’m lonely. I don’t like going home and not having someone there who is happy to see me or hear about my day. Being alone forever is my nightmare,” he says, and then takes a breath. “I mean, it’s fine for other people, obviously.”
Is Bryan a figure worth pitying? “Obviously,” he says dryly. “I don’t think I’ve made a conscious decision to be alone forever, I just… I guess I’d have to date. And she?—”
Wait.
Does hehaveto date a woman? He’s always assumed he would date women. And he’s also had a low enough sex drive, particularly when it came to thoughts of having sex with women,that he’d just assumed it was him. But what if he’s been wrong this whole time, and what he actually needs is to date men? Men like Samuel who want to wear lingerie and have sex? That combination has certainly brought Bryan’s libido roaring to life. What would it be like to be with someone who desired him? Desired him with sweat, strength, and passion?
Kathy had been so cold, so inconvenienced, and disappointed by him and his touch.
He could date men. He feels like an idiot for not thinking about it before.
But he is so aroused by Samuel, this conversation, and everything he’s discovered over the last 24 hours that he has to question whether or not he is straight.
Is he bisexual?
He isn’t someone who lies to himself. Or at least, he tries not to. If he gets new information and needs to change his mind, then he will.
How much easier would it be to date a man? Would they have more to talk about? Would sex be easier? Better? Wouldn’t they be on the same page and be able to discuss it without emotion and drama?
This conversation with Samuel has been a breeze.
It’s been interesting and pleasurable. He’s taking the longest route to the restaurant, stopping for every yellow light, prolonging the time.
What if dating a man is a relief? Pleasant? Would there be any chance he could date a man as attractive as Samuel? Closer to his own age, of course.
“Hello?”
“Oh. Sorry. I was just wondering if I needed to date women. Maybe I’ve been too hasty. Is it easy to date men?”
Three seconds of silence. “What?” Samuel asks, voice flat.
“I’m not saying I’m bisexual, I’m just saying I hadn’t considered dating men before, and I’m wondering if it’s easier?”
“It depends upon how much you like sucking dick,” Samuel says. Is he annoyed?
“Touche. Crude, but effective. Deepthroating doesn’t seem like a good time.”
They pull into a parking space, and Samuel gets out of the car before Bryan has his seatbelt off. Samuel leaves him in the parking lot, quickly going inside and getting a booth.
“I’ll have a scotch and soda. Double,” Samuel says to the waitress. Bryan isn’t even seated yet.
