Page 28 of A LIttle Christmas: Samm
“Wendy wants you to join us for Christmas,” he says, but then realizes how that might sound. “Let me clarify, I want you to, as well. I spoke to her last night and there was a lot of squealing with joy that I wanted to be your Daddy.”
“Do you think we should see how the weekend goes first?” He can feel the weight of Samuel’s gaze, the heaviness of the question. A boy scared he’ll be alone.
He reaches over and takes the boy’s hand, slotting their fingers together. He brings his hand to his mouth, kissing hisfingers.“I’m not concerned,” Bryan says, without hesitation.“I want this and I want you. You’re beautiful and one of the few people I’m never tired of seeing. So often, you’re the first person I think about and want to talk to. Not just for work but everything. The idea of you leaving was terrifying.”
Samuel sighs. “Oh. I… yes, Daddy. I feel the same way.”
He licks Samuel’s knuckle and sucks the joint into his mouth. He wants to taste every inch of the boy.
“Literally everything you do turns me on. The back of my hand is not an erogenous zone.”
Bryan chuckles.
“How do you know you’re going to like the weekend? Why are you so confident?”
“Are you familiar with the bible?”
Samuel snorts. “Well enough.”
“I suppose this is a strange analogy, but Paul says— though I don’t know where— that people who don’t believe have a veil over their eyes. And if they come to Jesus, the veil will be removed, and everything they didn’t see before comes into focus. That’s you. This. Us. I didn’t know you were gay. I didn’t know you were a boy looking for a Daddy. And as soon as I did, the veil was lifted and all I could see was you. A wonderful, beautiful young man that someone beneath you was going to get to possess, and I thought, ‘then why can’t it be me?’ If you’re willing to settle, then I want it to be me.”
He gasps in outrage. “I’m not settling! You’renotbeneath me. You’re my fantasy! I think I’ve been in love with you since the day we met.” He pauses. “But not in a stalkery way. Was that too forward?”
“No, it was just right,” he says, kissing his knuckles again.
Samuel sighs. “And I know enough about the bible to know that this was not what Paul meant. He’d be turning over in his grave if he heard that sort of blasphemy.”
“Well, it’s the example that came to mind, and I believe that love is love, and that was the most important thing to Jesus. We’re all allowed our interpretations,” he says, unfazed.
“My mother was very religious,” Samuel confesses. “I think that’s part of the reason I want commitment. I don’t want to be a total disappointment. I want marriage and monogamy and love.”
Bryan scowls at him and squeezes his hand. “There is no way in the world she would think you were a disappointment. No one turns out exactly like their parents want, and parents are people, which means they’re flawed. I’m sure she would have loved you enough to accept you in time. You’re just too lovable,” he says, and that does make something near his heart clench unpleasantly because that’s a very bold statement. He’s usually much more restrained. He doesn’t want to scare Samuel away.
Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer comes onto the radio as they arrive.
“Will you come inside with me?” Samuel asks, voice small, as if it’s important.
Bryan turns off the car and gets out with him, holding his hand as they walk up the stairs to Samuel’s apartment. His boy hesitates, key in the lock, but the door closed.He seems to be waiting.
His cock was half hard in the car, but now he’s fully aroused, and he imagines Samuel’s mouth around him, how incredibly good it felt to have the boy so enthusiastic and lustful. Such a contrast to his marriage and the other woman he’d been with.
Being with Samuel is different, and he feels different. This is real, he thinks, and extends his arm, hand flattening on the door as he presses close. He presses his mouth to Samuel’s neck, his skin, which is already getting cold from being outside. His breath puffs in front of him as he exhales. “I can’t even wait for you to open the door. I’ve never wanted anyone like I want you.”
Samuel whimpers, a soft sound Bryan is already becoming addicted to. This isn’t the first time he’s heard it, and he instinctively knows it’s a sign of the boy’s willing surrender.
“Daddy,” he whispers, and his hand lands on Bryan’s thigh, squeezing the muscle there.
“Let’s go in, pumpkin.”
Samuel nods eagerly, and Bryan moves back, rests his hands on Samuel’s shoulders, and gives him a gentle squeeze.
“I just… I want you to know me. I love the idea of being known and desired despite my flaws.”
It’s both sweet and ominous. What the hell is in his apartment?
Samuel opens the door, and they go inside. It’s tidy. That’s the first thing he notices. And there isn’t anything untoward in the living room or the kitchen. Samuel gestures for him to follow him into his bedroom.
He isn’t sure what to expect. He’s a little nervous because Samuel is radiating anxiety. There are pillows and stuffed animals on the bed. At least a dozen of them, all neatly arranged.
