Page 8 of A LIttle Christmas: Samm
“Now then, what are we gonna do to make sure Bryan doesn’t do anything stupid tomorrow?”
4
Wendy calls just as Bryan’s getting ready for bed. He does not want to answer.
“You called him,” he says, and rubs his hand across his face. He rubs over his eyebrow a few times. He’s got a headache. It’s always worse on the right side of his forehead because his nose was broken playing water polo in high school and didn’t get set completely straight. At least, that’s his theory.
“You need to talk to him about this Ballbuster he’s trying to meet up with. He deserves better than some middle-aged loser who lives in his mother’s basement.”
“There are very few basements in California,” he says. He is not going to ask about the rest of that statement. But he very much hopes it isn’t true. A beautiful boy like Samuel should not be disgracing himself for a loser.
She growls at him. “You are on my last nerve tonight, Bryan. He’s a lonely young man, and we’re his family. You don’t fire family.”
He’s tempted to argue with her, but this is Wendy’s superpower. She and Ryan have been together since high school, and the one thing Wendy is best at in the entire world isconnecting people. She makes everyone feel like family, and she means it.
But.
“I don’t think it’s appropriate to call him family, Wendy. Not after what he’s been through and not when he is my subordinate.”
“Bryan,” she says, voice crisp. “Have you ever considered the possibility that your emotional invulnerability is a weakness? Not everyone is Kathy. Samuel has no one, and he practically lives at the office. His only desire seems to be making your life better. You should be pleased he was trying to get a personal life because his devotion to you isn’t all that healthy. He worships you because you gave him a chance and believed in him. If you fire him, you will regret it for the rest of your life, and you will hurt him in a way I don’t think he’ll recover from. He’s devastated, Bryan. He couldn’t stop crying.”
“I’m not going to fire him,” he says. He’s been agonizing about it for hours, and even though letting him go is the right thing to do, he just can’t. “I’m going to pretend it didn’t happen and tomorrow will be a normal day.”
“Good! That’s a relief. Maybe I should tell him.”
“I’ll tell him tomorrow,” he snaps.
“Fine. I’m sorry for overstepping,” she says primly. “I’m glad you’ve made the right decision.”
“Goodnight, Wendy. I’ll see you at Christmas.”
“Um… before you go. I’m glad that’s resolved, but what are we going to do about Ballbuster? Someone should know what Samuel is up to and where he is going with this strange man.”
“His friends can ensure his safety.”
“I don’t think he’s going to tell any of his friends. Does he have a lot of friends?”
Bryan winces. “I don’t know if he has any friends. I haven’t asked because he’s my employee and it would be inappropriate.”
Wendy’s deep inhale feels like a rebuke. “This man he’s planning on meeting up with sounds awful, and Samuel deserves someone better. It isn’t safe. He’s planning on letting that strange man hurt him. He said he would need a day to recover. But it isn’t just sex because he wants a Daddy. Can you please try to be a little understanding and just think about how easy it would be for some man to take advantage of him? To hurt him? And Samuel will let it happen because he is a good boy who has been alone for a long time, and the only person he views as a father figure is his emotionally unavailable boss.”
It’s like being emotionally stabbed with a hot poker.
“Goodnight, Wendy. Please meddle in someone else’s life from now on. Maybe you can find someone in your own time zone? Just a thought.” He hangs up the phone and goes to take two Advil.
He trudges back up the stairs of his three-bedroom house, and, not for the first time, thinks that it’s too big, too empty. It’s a house that’s meant for a family, and that isn’t something Bryan is ever going to have. He’d tried with his ex-wife, and she’d left him for the tennis pro down at the club.
So cliche.
He wasn’t even sad to see the relationship end. He was sad that the road to a future of 2.5 kids and normalcy closed, but he wasn’t in love with her. She deserved more. She deserved passion and someone who wanted to be with her.
Bryan had wanted to work. He’d enjoyed his work, he understood it.
She was his first girlfriend and the woman he married, and he isn’t sure he ever knew what love was or how to love her.
It’s an incredibly depressing realization. She’s getting remarried soon.
Bryan hasn’t been on a date since the divorce. He hasn’t even tried to go out on a date. His love life is non-existent, and hissex drive is manageable. He masturbates every morning in the shower and that’s it. And despite what Wendy thinks, he doesn’t imagine Chris Evans’ heavy pecs or pale nipples while he does it. He doesn’t think of anyone or anything while he’s doing it.
