Page 11 of A LIttle Christmas: Samm
“What things?” Samuel asks. His voice is soft and his gaze is narrow. He isn’t sure what Samuel is thinking. His long lashes are chestnut in color. Fitting and somehow attractive.
“Daddy things.” Did those words just come out of his mouth? They don’t even make sense! “The things you discussed in the email.”
Samuel swallows. He jerks his gaze to the window and shakes his head. “I have something to do right now. I should go—” he stands up and his hands clasp together in front of his groin.
“Samuel, sit. You can say if you don’t want to discuss any of this.”
Samuel sits. He leans forward and puts his head in his hands. He might be trembling.
The reality of what Bryan is suggesting sinks in. “I’m so sorry. This is completely inappropriate. I’m going to tell Wendy toleave it alone. Your personal life is not our concern. I’m trying to fix this, and I am making it worse.”
“No. Please, don’t,” he says, leaning forward in his chair. “Please. I like that she cares and wants me to be safe. And it is risky, at least a little. If you want to know, of course I’ll tell you.”
Bryan nods. This really isn’t a very good idea. And he shouldn’t ask any more questions now. They can discuss it after work. His heart is beating too fast. “To be clear, we both…care.”
Samuel’s lips twitch. “Did that hurt?”
“What?”
“The admission that you care about me?”
Bryan laughs sharply, happy to have the mood lightened even if it’s temporary. “There are many more painful things in the world. You are a good person and a good employee. I do value you, and I want you to be happy. And no, it doesn’t hurt to say that.”
Samuel blushes and looks down. “Thank you, Mr. Demarco.”
“You know you can call me Bryan.”
“I’m aware,” he says, still looking down. He runs his palm over his knee absently.
“Of course you are,” he says, voice oddly husky. It used to be a topic of frequent conversation between them. Bryan has asked Samuel to use his first name multiple times over the years, but Samuel has been resistant. Maybe that’s part of being a boy?Perhaps he likes keeping Bryan elevated, maintaining a power differential. He’ll never hear the boy call him that and think of it the same way again.
“Is it true you don’t know his real name?” The question slips out.
“I’ll get it before I go anywhere with him,” he mumbles, sounding ashamed.
Lack of sleep and the things Bryan looked at in the middle of the night are brimming in his mind, and he imagines makingSamuel come over to him, imagines Samuel sitting on his lap to be chastised. Then he imagines draping the boy over said lap and spanking some sense into him. Would he still call Bryan Mr. Demarco? Would he be Sir? Could he be Daddy?
The thought shocks him and Bryan makes a sound, some odd grunting sound he tries to turn into a cough.
“Sir?” Samuel whispers.
Bryan shakes his head, wanting the idea to go away. “What do your friends think of him?”
Samuel doesn’t answer right away. “They don’t like it. They think I’m… settling.” He frowns. “They think I’m desperate.”
It’s such an earnest confession, and it pains Bryan to hear it. The boy isn’t desperate! Samuel is smart, attractive, and good company. He is a catch. He has to be!
“But they know him?”
“A little,” he says.
“I won’t tolerate lies.”
Samuel freezes in his seat. He looks up at Bryan from under his lashes, as if he can’t look at him head-on. “No one’s met him in person except me. But that’s not that unusual in the kink scene. Lots of people are only online and don’t want to go to public events.”
“That's also a good way for a bad actor to hide. Perhaps I should meet him. That would put Wendy and me at ease.”
Samuel gasps in horror. “You want to meet Lex?”
